Sex Offender Father

[anon106]

The father of my child has been convicted of child pornography. With many at the highest level of abuse. He was sentenced to a year in prison (but suspended), what a joke! He has a sexual harm prevention order on him and also he is on the register for 10 years.

I do not want my child to have anything to do with him. The child hasn't seen him for two years now.

We have relocated and are getting on with our lives. Although I am worried he may find us.

He recently sent me a guilt trip message about not seeing the child. He says it will be fine supervised by me and social services will agree with it. There is not a chance. I have phoned social services and said no way. They said they would consider me irresponsible if I did say yes.

I am so angry a sex offender has the right to contact someone with the view to seeing a child (any child). I think I will report him for harrasement if he contacts me again.

I am so scared he will take me to court. I am scared at having social services involved, even though I have done nothing wrong. I just want to get on with my life.

He has PR and I am annoyed that I need his permission to have a holiday.

Any advice please?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear anon 106,

Welcome to the parents forum.

I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you are experiencing with your child’s father. It must have been a shock for you when he was convicted.

I note he is under a sexual prevention order and is on the sex offenders register. Is there any conditions attached saying he should not make contact with you or your child? You could contact children services and ask about this.

He does not know your whereabouts at the moment. Do you know his? Have you thought about changing your telephone number to stop him contacting you? He could then go via children services.

Taking your child abroad (out of the UK)

Whether or not you need his permission to take your child abroad depends on whether he has parental responsibility for your child or not.
Did he sign your child’s birth certificate or were you married?
Have a look at our advice sheet about parental responsibility which sets out when fathers have parental responsibility.

If he does have parental responsibility, why don’t you ask the social worker to see whether s/he can get written permission from dad agreeing to you taking your child abroad?

If dad refuses, then you can seek a court order giving you consent.

If you need any advice about sexual abuse and the support that is available you could contact the
Lucy Faithfull foundation .


Best wishes,
Suzie

[anon106]

Hi Suzie

I think the order just says no contact with children under 18 unless the parent consent and is aware of the crime. I don't think it is stated he can't contact me. I just don't want contact with him. I am so angry.

He does not know my whereabouts and I don't know his.

His conviction did not really come as a shock. I always had an incline he was a bit of a weirdo. I just never had any proof.

All he has is mobile number and email for me.

I've got no plans to go abroad at present but am just thinking about the future. He does have PR.

I haven't actually had contact with any social worker with this. I just called the safe guard hub to tell them to note I would not give him contact. I think social services have told him if I don't say yes then he can't see the child. He would have to go to court.

I just want to get on with my life in peace now but feel he will creep out from under his stone again.

Anon x