Child Protection Conference Procedures

[WorriedinR]

Hello,

We have a Child Protection Conference scheduled for this Wednesday (16th December). We have been on a Child In Need plan since May this year, after Children's Services first became involved with our family last March. Throughout this time, we have always attempted to fully cooperate with Children's Services - although for the most part this has proved to be very difficult, challenging and frustrating. They have continually refused to listen to myself or my wife. My wife's mother has been very manipulative with her communications with Children's Services. It is a long story, but she has wanted to split my wife and I up ever since we first met eight and a half years ago.

In March, my stepson (10 years old) went to live with my wife's mother after a silly argument between him and me. There was no physical abuse, but hurtful things were said, which I deeply regret and we are both working very hard to repair our relationship. Children's Service's are claiming that these hurtful remarks amounted to emotional abuse and are saying that the three younger children that my wife and I have together are "at risk of significant emotional harm", so they are also subject to the same Child In Need plan.

My stepson is due to come home to the family on a permanent basis on Friday (18th December) and this decision has not changed since Children's Service's took the decision to take our case to a Child Protection Conference. My stepson has continued to come over to our house for tea and sleepovers. We have been allowed to do all of this without any supervised visits etc.

Since Children's Service's took their decision to go to Conference, we have had no real contact with them. Aside from a meeting from the social worker and her supervisor (instigated by me), a fleeting visit by our family support worker and a short telephone call from our social worker to my wife. This telephone call was made because my wife's mother had complained to the social worker that she had not received an invitation to two of our other children's recent nativity play at school. The social worker told my wife that my wife's mother shoudl not have contacted her (the social worker) with her "complaint", adding that the relationship between my wife's mother and the two of us (myself and my wife) are really none of their concern.

My query is: What are the legal obligations of Children's Services in the run-up to a Child Protection Conference? It is now Saturday 12th December and we are still waiting for our social worker's official report (presumably this outlines their reasons for taking the case to conference). What support should Children's Services be offering us as we head towards the Conference?

Since March, when Children's Service's first became involved with our family, we have not received very much support. They have antagonised and intimidated us through endless meeting where nothing really gets sorted. My wife and I are both self-employed and we feel that because of this, Children's Services feel they can insist that we honour any meeting request (formal or informal) with them at the drop of a hat - as are time is supposedly more flexible.

Sorry if this post is very long and rambling. Our case is a lot more detailed, but hopefully I have included enough information for you. If you require any further information, then please do not hesitate to let me know.

Many thanks!

[WorriedinR]

Sorry, one more point:

It is the belief of my wife and myself that Children's Service's have taken the decision to go to Conference because I refused to attend the last Child In Need meeting (in November). this was because I had been promised by the social worker that my wife's mother would not be i attendance. There is a history of emotional abuse towards my wife and myself by my wife's mother. This was the second time that my request not to face my wife's mother has been refused (on the grounds of her abuse towards me, specifically).

My wife's mother is a highly controlling and manipulative woman. This has been a major contributing factor in my recent diagnosis for depression and recent panic attacks that I have been suffering.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear WorriedinR

Welcome to the Parents’ Discussion Forum and thank you for your post.

My name is Suzie and I am one of the Advisers at Family Rights Group.

I am sorry that you are having a difficult and frustrating time due to Children Services’ involvement with your family.
As you have an initial child protection conference on Wednesday, 18th December, I suggest that you ask the social worker for a copy of the assessment report prepared for the conference. Ideally, you should receive this 48 hours before the conference to give you an opportunity to read the same. Once you receive the report, if there are any factual inaccuracies, you should ask for these to be rectified prior to the conference.

My suggestion is that you should continue to work and cooperate with Children Services, although I do understand that this can prove difficult sometimes especially if you feel you are not being listened to. It might help if you put any important points that you wish to make in writing and ask for a written response from the social worker.

You say in your post that Children Services are claiming that the hurtful things you said to your 10 year old stepson amount to emotional abuse. It appears from what you say that you do not believe this to be the case. As you have said yourself, you regret the hurtful things that were said. The fact that you recognise that the things said were hurtful would suggest that there was an emotional impact on your stepson. It is not clear how your stepson went to live with his grandmother, was this at his request or was a referral made to Children Services and this was then agreed by your wife and you.

Children Services will be concerned that a child is being told hurtful things and may take the view that this is something that occurs in the family and impacts the children. Your own children will be hearing by what is said to a sibling and they too may be affected emotionally. As you may be aware, Children Services have a duty to ensure that children are being brought up in a safe environment. This means in respect of their physical, mental, emotional, psychological, education and health. If they consider that any aspect of a child wellbeing is not being supported they do have a duty to become involved and carry out an assessment.

A further concern for Children Services regarding the children’s emotional wellbeing, may be the adult relationships around the children. It appears that the relationship with the maternal grandmother is a tense one. This could also be something that Children Services is taking into account when considering the emotional impact on the children. The social worker is likely to take a view that the sort of matters that the grandmother is bringing to her suggests deep rooted difficulties in the family dynamics which is affecting the children.

The social worker takes on board what the children speak to her about and their wishes and feelings has to be considered in the assessment.
Perhaps it might help if there could be family mediation with your mother in law. If you could all discuss your respective concerns and worries with an independent third party it might help to resolve any longstanding issue with your wife’s mother. If you wish, you could suggest this to the social worker.

Normally, when Children Services decide to start child protection enquiries, they will carry out an assessment and following on from this a decision will be made whether or not there should be an initial child protection conference. In your case, Children Services was already involved, so it may be that it was felt that the Child in Need plan was not being adhered to or the concerns remain unresolved and child protection issues have become apparent. When you receive the report this should be clarified for you.

I am including a copies of our advice sheets relating to family support (child in need) and child protection procedures for your information. Also included is a film about what to expect at an initial child protection conference.

Regarding what you say in your additional post about not attending a child in need meeting because your mother in law would be there, it could have been seen as you not putting your children’s needs before your own. So it may have had a part in the decision making about have a conference. I do not think it would be the sole reason for moving the case to child protection

If you do find it difficult to attend a meeting with your wife’s mother present. It is best to ask the social worker for her to attend when they have concluded discussions with you. Her attendance at the child in need meetings would have been required because your stepson is living with her at the moment. Having said that, the social worker should have taken into account your wish not to be in a meeting with her.

You have a diagnosis of depression and have suffered panic attacks. It is important that you ensure you are receiving appropriate help and support regarding mental health. Children Services will want to see that you are doing so.

Should you wish to speak to an Adviser, please do telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open Monday to Friday, from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m.

I hope you will find this helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie