Are you a young parent (under 30)?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

FRG has funding for a new project for young parents (under 30).

The project focuses on young parents whose children are/have been subject of Children's Services intervention – whether as children in need, children deemed at risk or as children placed in care. The overarching aim is to enable more young parents to keep their children safely with them.

There's more information about the project on our website here.

Are you a young parent currently in contact with children's services? Do you feel that your age is factor in how you are viewed or treated by children's services?

Post here if you are a young parent and would like some advice and/ or support or if you would just like to share your views.

Thanks

Suzie
FRG Adviser

[Bee*]

Im a young parent...sort of. Im 23, raising my four younger siblings after my mum died. We have been on Child Protection for 2 and a half years (currently in PLO but hopefully stepping down soon as the new social worker seems impressed with me, although I am doubtful it will happen in the meeting in a few weeks because of recent problems with the oldest's behaviour). The social worker says that hopefully we wont be on Child Protection for much longer either, but we will likely be on Child In Need or have some sort of professional involvement in our lives for a while.

I do feel I have been treated differently than others because I am younger sometimes-there is a very noticeable age difference between me and the other people in the core group, theyre all over 30. It doesn't help that I have Asperger Syndrome and anxiety as well, and I am short and look way younger, I was mistaken for 14 at age 17.

I haven't had problems like that with the social workers I have had-the first was only a few years older than me, the second didn't treat me like I was younger, she treated me as if I was anyone else (badly) and got frustrated and went into PLO a few months after taking on our case because she didn't know how to work with someone who is autistic and the only way she knew how to deal with things wasn't working and were making things worse to the point where being in the same room with her gave me panic attacks. The third treats me differently than she would with anyone else because she recognised that things needed a different approach with me, especially because I was traumatized by the last social worker. Ive never felt that she talks down to me because I am younger, I appreciate that shes nice to me and is trying to find ways to help me be less anxious, and sometimes needs to explain things to me that I don't understand. She also stands up for me against the people who do think I am just a stupid kid, lol.

I cant say that others in the core group (and the chair at the conference) have felt the same.

The person from CAMHS doesn't seem to like me and thinks all of the problems are caused by me (despite the fact she has barely seen any of the children). In fact, one of the things that led up to me having a panic attack at the conference last summer was a conversation we had when she said that I am giving up my life looking after the kids and should be out partying and enjoying being young, and I should have a think about whether I really want to do it. Even with the psychological assessment saying that I am perfectly capable of looking after the kids, they are attached to me, and that I just need a different approach, she still didn't seem satisfied with the fact that the children will be staying in the home. In fact, the last core group, after the conference last December got very heated between her and the social worker over it.

The chair at the conference in December seemed a bit annoyed that I was feeling anxious and almost ended up leaving 10 minutes before the end (social worker convinced me to stay though), and said that it seemed it was "all about her".

Sometimes I think I am seen as a little less important and that it doesn't matter if the kids stay with me because I am not their mother, I am their older sister. Sometimes I do worry that, especially with my anxiety and panic attacks, people do see me as just an immature kid.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Beth,

Thank you for coming back onto the Parents Forum and sharing your views with us as a young parent and a sibling carer. I will pass your information onto our Young Parent Policy Adviser.

I am glad that to see that things are going so well now and that the social worker is talking about a recommending a child in need plan.

Best wishes
Suzie