Our rights as guardians of a child under SGO

[Auntiev]

There is so much information on birth parents rights under an SGO but very little on the rights of the child or the people caring & raising that child.
My nephew was removed from his mum due to severe neglect, drug & alcohol issues, domestic violence, refusal to accept help & a huge medical neglect as the child had various medical problems & was not taken to hospital appointments or surgeries. The dad didn't want to care for him.
Our nephew lived with us for 5 months on an ICO & then a SGO was granted with a contact order for mum & dad to see him for 1 hour every six weeks. Dads visits run smoothly & he contacts us a few days before contact to make arrangements. Mums is not. She often makes no contact & we have to hunt her down, she may make contact at 2am of the due visit day demanding to see him at 10am, she promised him the world, let's him down & we have to pick up the prices (he's 5). We wrote a letter sent by recorded delivery explaining we have 2 children of our own, work full time & can not just drop everything for her or spend hours tracking her down & we need 48hrs notice of a contact venue. We've not heard anything since & contact has failed. My question is can she just contact us 3 months down the line & demand contact or can we refuse. My nephew is much happier at home & school when she is not around.
My second question relates to his grandfather. This man is a violent bully who beat his wife's, didn't bother with his kids, failed a social work assessment for unsupervised contact & encourages no respect for woman. He has demanded contact. (His gran attends the sibling contact we arranged with other guardians every 2 weeks & his uncle takes him out once a month so we try and keep contact with his family) we told grandfather he could see my nephew every Friday for 2.5 hours after school at a local swimming baths which is what grandad wanted, however on the day of the first contact he rang to say he would keep my nephew for as long as he liked & would not return him when we asked. We stopped the contact going ahead. He now states he will take us to court if we don't do as he says & he will turn up at our door this weekend to take the boy for as long as he likes! How do we stand legally with this situation. If we had known we would have so
Much hassle I'm not sure I would have been so eager to undertake an SGO. I should add I don't see grandad as a physical threat to my nephew but the threat to keep him is a massive concern. I was very reluctant to agree to any contact in first place but wanted to be fair to my nephew

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Auntiev
Welcome to the parents' discussion board.
My name is Suzie one of FRG's online advisers.
I have sent you a private message requesting you to post on the Family and Friends board,
as this is more relevant to Special Guardians, and others in your situation.
Best Wishes
Suzie

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Auntiev

Welcome to the Family and Friend Carers Discussion Forum.

My name is Suzie an adviser at Family Rights Group.

I have post a reply to you here as you have not yet posted on the Family and Friends Discussion Forum as requested. Please do post on the correct forum for any further support you might require.

I am sorry that you are feeling so frustrated by the behaviour of your nephew’s mother and extended family in respect of contact.

As a Special Guardian you share parental responsibility with your nephew’s mother and his father (if he is on his birth certificate or was married to his mother). Your parental responsibility can be exercised exclusive of theirs. This means that you are able to make decisions about your nephew’s upbringing whether the parents agree or not.

You say in your post that there was an order made for contact. If the mother is not adhering to the terms of the contact order you do not have to go out of your way to ensure that she has contact. The onus is on her to attend contact with her son. If you believe that contact is not in your nephew’s interests as it causes him to be unsettled or is disruptive, you can consider whether contact should continue as it is currently. It is important that you make it clear to your nephew’s mother how contact will work and what you are prepared to do to ensure that your nephew has contact. Contact is for his benefit not that of his mother or grandfather.

From what you say in your post you are being very generous with contact to the extended family. If mother and grandfather are not willing to have contact on a proper basis, then you should consider how you want to deal with this.

Although you have a Special Guardianship Order (SGO), it does not prevent you from seeking help and support from Children Services to facilitate contact with the mother. The Special Guardianship Order regulations requires them to assist where necessary.

Your nephew’s grandfather has not shown himself to be a reliable person and if you decide that contact cannot go ahead, it is for him to take the matter to court. The court’s main concern will be your nephew’s welfare and contact will only be granted if it is in his best interests. Before making any order the court will have a Section 7 report from either Children Services or Cafcass to make recommendations regarding contact. It is more likely it would be Children Services doing a report as your nephew was a looked after child and they were involved with the family before.
I am including here a copy of our advice sheet which explains what a Special Guardianship Order means for birth parents. A copy of our advice sheet about SGO is also attached. Although the advice sheet is about applying for an order, there is also information about what is means to have an order. I suggest you read from page 4.

If you wanted to change the contact arrangements, that is, to vary the current order, you can ask the court to do this. I strongly suggest that you make contact with Children Services to see what assistance you will provide to resolve the situation relating to contact.

Any application you make to the court would be private law proceedings and you might like to contact Coram Children’s Legal Centre on 0300 330 5480.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser about your current situation, please do telephone our advice line 0808 801 0866. The advice line is open from 9.30 to 3.00 p.m. Monday to Friday.

I hope you will find this helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Auntiev]

Sorry I'm new to the site & didn't realise I had posted in wrong section. I will make sure future posts are in correct place. Thanks so much for your advice, it really puts my mind at rest