Contact Center cost

[Monty123]

Good afternoon all
We have a SGO for our 2 grandsons , 6 and 9 , both autistic, for a number of years . Bf contact has been sporadic but now is demanding unsupervised contact with both boys to which we have said no . We all went to mediation which unfortunately has broken down. Previously we had suggested to him that seeing he feels uncomfortable with us supervising contact, it could happen at a contact centre. He has now agreed to this .

However, he says that seeing we are receiving payments by the la to care for his children ( both myself and my wife have given up our careers to look after the boys ) we should pay for the centre and the supervising adult there ourselves .This was passed on to us from the mediator from him before it broke down. He has said he will now start court proceedings, again passed on to us by the mediator.
My understanding is that if he wants contact in a Centre then he should have to pay , not us , Even though we may have suggested it . We did say then that it would be at his own cost then and repeated this in mediation.
If we stick to our guns and say that he has to pay would this be looked upon as if we were trying to discourage contact bearing in mind that a court case seems imminent? I’ve never heard of an SGO having to pay for a contact centre for the birth father’s convenience.
Any help or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

[Robin D]

Hi Monty123 and welcome.

Not in a SGO case but earlier legislation we faced a similar demand from BM. The matter was already in the court. The judge ruled the BM should pay. There was a large geographic distance between us and knowing her financial situation, we offered to pay when contact took place near us, and she paid if we travelled with the child to near her. It was accepted with gratitude by BM, Cafcass and the judge.

I am not suggesting that will work for you, but possibly a small contribution from you might pave a way forward. Only you can decide that.

Alternatively, seek advice from the SGO support team at the LA who made the placement. They may be prepared to help fund it.

I wish you luck, whatever you decide. It isn't easy sorting out this sort of thing.

Suzie the FRG advisor may have different suggestions.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Good afternoon all
We have a SGO for our 2 grandsons , 6 and 9 , both autistic, for a number of years . Bf contact has been sporadic but now is demanding unsupervised contact with both boys to which we have said no . We all went to mediation which unfortunately has broken down. Previously we had suggested to him that seeing he feels uncomfortable with us supervising contact, it could happen at a contact centre. He has now agreed to this .

However, he says that seeing we are receiving payments by the la to care for his children ( both myself and my wife have given up our careers to look after the boys ) we should pay for the centre and the supervising adult there ourselves .This was passed on to us from the mediator from him before it broke down. He has said he will now start court proceedings, again passed on to us by the mediator.
My understanding is that if he wants contact in a Centre then he should have to pay , not us , Even though we may have suggested it . We did say then that it would be at his own cost then and repeated this in mediation.
If we stick to our guns and say that he has to pay would this be looked upon as if we were trying to discourage contact bearing in mind that a court case seems imminent? I’ve never heard of an SGO having to pay for a contact centre for the birth father’s convenience.
Any help or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Dear Monty123

Suzie (FRG Adviser) here, thank you for your post.

You ask whether we may have ideas about the contact arrangements in particular paying for a centre in which the father can see the children. You might suggest to the father that the allowance you receive is for their daily care and needs. You agree, however that contact is beneficial for the children and will be happy to drop the children off to the venue he has selected.

In our previous messages to you we suggested that Kinship may have some ideas, there may be a local kinship group
who could offer suggestions too.


Best wishes
Suzie
Family Rights Group Adviser