Advice needed

[Worriedmom89]

Hello. On Saturday I had police turn up at my home due to neighbours over hearing an argument between me and my partner and he hit a wall. My son was there too (not good I know). This is totally a one off incident and just an argument that become heated due to my partner being very stressed with family and work at the moment. He has never hit me or my children and I am not being abused, normally we have a good, happy relationship. The police never made an arrest, they just told him to stay away for the night. The police commented saying they can see my children are well looked after and have a nice home. I asked them will this be referred to social services but the officer said as I never gave my consent he cannot make any referrals. However I have read forums online and I'm under the impression that whenever police are called out to a domestic incident and children are present a referral is automatically made? I'm going out my mind with worry, I keep expecting the phone to ring and it's the social services and every time I hear a car pull up or someone at my door I think it's the ss. I have never been in any trouble with police before and never dealt with social services. Do you think they will contact me?

[Walkingdead]

Well il put it this way, when police come house it's not always the case that social services are involved.the only way social services will be involved is if primary,nursery, or neighbour or someone walking by sees something or hears something they don't like them they are called.but it's not social services you got to worry about, it's social workers,and family support worker.iv had social worker in my life since last September, why because my daughter went to [school name removed] my daughter has siblings she loves to fight with them.but school jumped to conclusions and called social services and reported me for (neglect,abuse,and 1 month after added mental abuse).I also found out I was reported for being pregnant,and single.social workers and family support worker they love people being obedient,love control,how to run your home,raise kids.im also on child protection which is for 1 year another words kids protected from me.they split up relationships.if you dont have this your lucky.

Edited by Suzie in accordance with rules of use

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hello. On Saturday I had police turn up at my home due to neighbours over hearing an argument between me and my partner and he hit a wall. My son was there too (not good I know). This is totally a one off incident and just an argument that become heated due to my partner being very stressed with family and work at the moment. He has never hit me or my children and I am not being abused, normally we have a good, happy relationship. The police never made an arrest, they just told him to stay away for the night. The police commented saying they can see my children are well looked after and have a nice home. I asked them will this be referred to social services but the officer said as I never gave my consent he cannot make any referrals. However I have read forums online and I'm under the impression that whenever police are called out to a domestic incident and children are present a referral is automatically made? I'm going out my mind with worry, I keep expecting the phone to ring and it's the social services and every time I hear a car pull up or someone at my door I think it's the ss. I have never been in any trouble with police before and never dealt with social services. Do you think they will contact me?

Dear Worriedmom89

Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for posting.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group and will respond to your post today. I am sorry that you are feeling so worried about the possibility of children’s services becoming involved with your family.

It is usual practice for the police to make a referral to children's services when they have been called out to a domestic incident and there are children living in the home. I am not sure why the police officer would have told you that your consent is required as this is not the case. Normally, when a referral is received children’s services, will make contact to discuss this and to decide whether they close the case or need to be further involved.

You can read more about the process when children’s services receive a referral here HERE

Another poster has, in their response to your post, the information given is not correct as it is not right to say children’s services only become involved “the only way social services will be involved is if primary,nursery, or neighbour or someone walking by sees something or hears something they don't like them they are called.” The fact is we are all responsible for safeguarding children so anyone can make a referral if they have concerns about a child’s wellbeing. Professionals also have a duty to safeguard.

Also, every family’s case is different since, depending on what happens when a social worker makes contact and the concerns of the child or children will inform how the case progresses or closed.

You say in your post that the incident is the only time this has happened, your partner has never hit you or the children. I think it is important for you to understand that domestic abuse does not only involve physical harm. If there are heated arguments in the home this will have a negative impact on children’s emotional wellbeing. You can read more about domestic abuse where children’s services is involved.


Failing to engage and work with children’s services to improve and make the situation better would not be helpful. The best outcome for a family is where they can work openly and honestly with children’s ser-vices. They are not involved to remove children from their family but to work with them to ensure they are cared for safely.

Children’s services cannot remove a child without the consent of a parent or other person with parental responsibility without their consent or a court order. I hope this fact will put your mind at ease about any possible contact from children’s services. You may find it helpful to read this guide HERE on our website about working with social workers, so you have a better understanding of expectations.

I hope this is helpful, but should you wish to speak with one of our experienced advisers you can telephone the advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3.00pm Monday to Friday (excluding Bank Holidays.

Best wishes

Suzie