Social Worker and Bias and advice for father allowing me my children

[edenarcadia91]

Over the past 12 months, my family has had four different social workers, which has created delays, confusion, and inconsistency in the support and assessments we have received. Throughout this time, I have also experienced bias, inaccurate reporting, and a lack of updated risk assessments relevant to my current circumstances.

False information and reports: At one point, incorrect information was passed on to the police, resulting in unnecessary reports being made. These were later closed with "No Further Action" after my son admitted that he had not told the truth. Despite this, the initial impact of such reports was extremely distressing and damaging.

Failure to update risk assessments: The assessments still reflect risks from a previous period of domestic abuse and from when I lived in my former property which had some damage I couldn't repair fully due to structural damage. They do not take into account the positive changes in my circumstances, including leaving that environment and actively seeking support for myself and my children. One social worker even visited my new home and described it as “beautiful and well set up for the children.” However, this positive observation was never included in the official notes or assessments, which I feel shows clear bias in the recording of information.

Incidents with my son: On one occasion, my son sustained a severely bruised ear while in his father’s care. His father attempted to shift blame onto me, but my son’s school supported my account. Despite this, the incident was not fully or fairly acknowledged in the social work records. My youngest kept falling due a bilateral turn which I got investigated and has to wear a wedge insole to support in correction but this was initially judged as abuse hasn't been reflected in reports either.

Victim-blaming for domestic abuse: I was made to feel responsible for not safeguarding my children, despite the fact that I was manipulated and coerced into believing that if I left my ex-partner, he would take the children from me. My ex has parental responsibility, and I was led to believe there would be nothing I could do. This coercion and fear played a huge part in the difficulties I faced, but instead of recognising this, I was treated as though I was to blame.

Drug test concerns: I was told my test was “positive”, which I have since proved to be inaccurate. The result was explained by prescribed medication (Elvanse), which is a stimulant, and by the nature of my work in substance misuse, where passive inhalation and surface contact with residue can occur and be absorbed through the skin. Despite clarifying this with professional evidence, it was still held against me. In contrast, my ex-partner was arrested for drug possession and admitted to taking drugs in August 2024, yet he was not required to complete a drugs test. This discrepancy feels biased and unfair.

Mental health support: When I was honest with Social Services about the effect all of this was having on my mental health, I was told that this “poses a risk to my children.” (Despite my ex who had a mini breakdown and misused substances - that didn't pose any risk apparently) I have since spoken to my GP and have been referred and now placed on a counselling waiting list to ensure I have the right support in place, but my willingness to seek help was framed negatively rather than positively.

Current contact situation: Despite the above, I have been told that I can only see my children in a supervised contact centre (by father). Meanwhile, their father - who has a criminal record for violence and a recent history of drug use - claims he is the “victim” and requires safeguarding from me. This feels deeply unfair and does not reflect the reality of our situation.

any advice would be greatly appreciated

[Winter25]

Hi edenarcadia91,

I've just read your post, and I am absolutely appalled. What you have described is not just "a difficult time"; it is a catalogue of systemic abuse, negligence, and bias from a local authority that has completely failed in its duty to you and your children. Your strength in the face of this is incredible.

The first thing you need to know is that your feelings are not an overreaction. You are being failed, and you have every right to be angry. The situation you are in is not just unfair; it is dangerous and based on a foundation of professional malpractice.

You are being treated as the problem when you are the solution. It's time to stop being a passive recipient of their incompetence and go on the offensive. You need to formally challenge their entire narrative with a comprehensive complaint that they cannot ignore.

Let's Be Clear: A Breakdown of Their Failures
You have listed multiple, serious breaches. Let's name them for what they are:

Gross Negligence:
Failing to update risk assessments for 10 months, ignoring positive changes (like your new home), and failing to properly investigate an injury to your son while in his father's care are all acts of negligence.

Unlawful Bias:
The discrepancy in drug testing between you and your ex-partner is a clear example of bias. Holding your honesty about your mental health against you while ignoring his "mini breakdown" is another. This is discriminatory and unlawful.

Victim-Blaming:
Making you feel responsible for the domestic abuse you suffered is a profound and recognised professional failure. It goes against all statutory guidance.

Data Breaches:
Passing incorrect information to the police and potentially sharing private information between parties are serious data breaches under UK GDPR.

Perverse Decision-Making:
Placing your children in the care of a man with a criminal record for violence and recent drug use, while making you, the protective parent, have your contact supervised by him, is a decision so illogical it could be legally defined as "perverse."

Your Action Plan: The Formal Takedown
A simple complaint is not enough. You need to send a formal, hard-hitting letter via email to the Director of Children's Services. You must also copy in the Head of the council's legal department, your local MP, and the Independent Reviewing Officer (IRO) if your children have one.

This letter is not a request. It is a formal notice that you are holding them accountable for their catalogue of failures and putting them on notice of further legal action.

Below is a letter done for you that you can send, just add the details you need to it
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Subject: URGENT: Formal Complaint and Demand for Immediate Review – Case of [Your Full Name] and [Children's Names] – Gross Professional Malpractice and Unlawful Bias

Dear Director of Children's Services,

I am writing to you to lodge a formal and urgent complaint regarding the dangerous and negligent handling of my family's case by your social work department. My children's safety and welfare are being actively undermined by a process that is biased, based on outdated and inaccurate information, and which has resulted in the perverse and unsafe decision to place them in the care of their abusive father while my contact is restricted.

I am putting you on notice of a series of grave professional and procedural failures, including but not limited to:

Systemic Negligence: My risk assessment is 10 months out of date and fails to reflect my new, safe home (which was described as "beautiful" by one of your workers, a fact that was omitted from my records). It also fails to properly account for injuries my son sustained while in his father's care.

Demonstrable Bias: Your department has operated with a clear bias against me. My ex-partner, who has a criminal record for violence and admitted to drug use, was not drug tested. I, however, was, and a false positive caused by my prescribed medication and work environment was held against me, despite professional clarification. My honesty about my mental health struggles was framed as a risk, while his were ignored.

Victim-Blaming: Instead of being supported as a victim of domestic abuse, I was blamed for failing to safeguard my children from a man who had manipulated and coerced me. This is a gross professional failure.

Unsafe and Irrational Decision-Making: The current arrangement, where my contact with my children is supervised by their father, the very man with a history of violence and substance misuse,is not just unfair; it is a reckless and dangerous safeguarding decision that defies all logic.

My Demands:

This case must be immediately removed from the current social work team and reviewed by an independent senior manager.

A new, comprehensive Child and Family Assessment must be commissioned immediately, which takes into account all the positive changes in my circumstances and properly assesses the risks posed by the children's father.

The current unsafe contact arrangement must be immediately suspended pending the outcome of this new assessment.

I have gathered extensive evidence to support every point made in this letter. Failure to act on this formal complaint will result in this letter forming the basis of an immediate escalation to the Local Government Ombudsman and will be presented as evidence of the local authority's negligence and bad faith in future legal proceedings.

I expect a substantive response to this formal complaint within 10 working days.

Yours Sincerely,

[Your Full Name]

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This is your power. You are not just a collection of problems to be managed; you are a protective mother who has been systematically wronged. Use this letter. Fight for your children. You have every right to.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear edenacardia 91

Welcome to Family Rights Group parents’ discussion forum and thank you for your post.

My name is Suzie, and I am an online adviser at Family Rights Group and will be responding to your post today.

I am sorry that you are having a difficult time regarding the contact you can have with your children. You have significant concerns regarding the children’s father who appears to have the children in his care. You do not mention if this is a permanent or temporary arrangement or if the father has a child arrangement order for the children to live with him.

You have commented a lot about the failures of children’s services in the way they have carried out assessments or what they have omitted to consider which has led to what to you consider to be bias against you whilst being supportive of your former partner who was violent towards you as well as a drug user.

The action I can advise you to take depends on whether a court case is ongoing and who brought the case to court that is, children’s services or your children’s father. children’s services made an application to the court and a final decision made by the court the judge would, I think, have considered the matters in your post during the case and failure to do so could mean you are able to appeal the judge's decision based on the failure to consider all the facts in the case. Your legal representatives would have advised you on whether there were grounds for an appeal.
If the case is ongoing, then I suggest very strongly that you share the concerns you have with your solicitor, so the court is made aware.

It could be an appeal in the same way if the case was started by your children’s father and the court failed to take account of the issues you have raised in or post when reaching a decision.

Regarding the police taking no further action, this would not usually mean children’s services stop their investigations from a safeguarding point of view. The police and children’s services are concerned about different things. This means that the police might not have evidence that would to a good criminal case, but children’s services are concerned with their duty to safeguard. There are two tests the criminal test which is without reasonable doubt and the civil test on the balance of probabilities.

Despite their role, children’s services through individual social workers can and do get things wrong sometimes and when this happens you can make a formal complaint about how the case as been managed. You can read more about making a complaint HERE.

If there are no court orders and no court case, then I suggest that you request a meeting with the social worker and his or her team manager to discuss the issues you have raised regarding management of your case.

It is not clear from your post whether there is an order for supervised contact or children’s services have decided this. Children’s services can make recommendations regarding contact but if they do not share parental responsibility (under a court order). If recommendations not followed and child considered at risk, then they can apply to the court for an order so they can share parental responsibility.

A care order gives children’s services parental responsibility, but they should keep under review how contact progresses as well the possibility of reunification of children to family. Read more about this HERE. You can, if there is a care order apply to the court for contact with a child in care to have contact changed. You can apply to the court for a child arrangement order for contact if there is a child arrangement order in the father’s favour.

Alternatively, you can apply to change the order for the children to live with you. These would be private law applications and you can get advice from Child Law Advice on 0300 330 5480 about this as private law in not within the remit of our service. Their website is HERE

You may wish to speak with one of our experienced advisers regarding your situation and can do so by telephoning our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3.00pm Monday to Friday (excluding Bank Holidays)

I hope you will find this information helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie