Accusations of coaching by ss

[BNG99]

Hi, I am a mother who fled domestic abuse 18 months ago with my son there is an ongoing police investigation for sexual offenses against me and Child maltreatment.

The social worker is accusing me of coaching my son. She has done the s7. She has threatened to escalate to child protection and accusing me of emotional harm.

She recommends progression of contact with the Father. My son has emotional trauma and i am accused unfairly of coaching him and I am blamed for consenting that my son was interviewed by the police as he witnessed domestic violence and he is a victim. I have done everything to protect my son . How to defend myself. The Father is a perpetrator and he convinced social worker that he is a good Father by doing a Father programme he does not take accountability. Please advise. Thank you

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear BNG99,

Thank you for your enquiry and welcome to the parents’ forum.
I am Suzie, an online adviser responding to you today.

I am very sorry to hear about your traumatic experiences and your current stressful situation.

You explain that a social worker has completed a S.7 report to assist a family court to make decisions about contact and residence in private proceedings.

You feel that the social worker has not taken sufficient account of your experience of domestic abuse and the impact of witnessing this has had on your son.

Family Rights Group do not advise on private family law but you can read about child arrangements orders on the Child Law Advice website. Information on what courts consider in deciding where a child should live are here and whom a child should have contact with here.
You do not say whether the social worker who has completed the S.7 report works is appointed by the local authority or Cafcass.
I am sending you a link to the Cafcass Domestic Abuse Practice Policy 2025 here so that you can review whether you feel these standards have been met. If you feel that guidelines have not been followed you could consider making a formal complaint. Details of the Cafcass complaints procedures are here.
Children’s services complaints procedures are detailed here.

I do not know whether you are represented in the private proceedings by a solicitor. As you have a history of domestic abuse you may be entitled to legal aid to cover the cost of this. Child Law Advice have an advice sheet on legal aid eligibility in the context of domestic abuse here.

It is usually seen to be in a child’s best interests to have contact with a parent if it is safe to do so. Obviously, your contention is that you do not believe that it is safe for your son to have contact with his father and this is the area of disagreement between you and the assessing social worker.

Are there safety measures (such as supervision from a family member) that could reassure you about risk? I would suggest that you outline your specific concerns about your son’s safety when having contact with his father in writing and ask the social worker to address these with you, point by point. The Family Rights Group guide to working with social workers could help you prepare for this here.

A family group conference could be a way of consulting the network around your son (paternal and maternal extended family and adult friends known to him) about any help they could offer with contact arrangements. You can read more about family group conference here.

You are concerned as the social worker has depicted your anxieties about the contact as possible emotional harm and has talked about a possible escalation to child protection enquiries.

A Family Rights Group web page on how social workers should work with parents who have experienced domestic abuse is here.

As the social worker has spoken of emotional harm and child protection it may be useful for you to find out more what is meant by these terms. You can read more about what is meant by emotional harm here.

Child protection enquiries and procedures are detailed here.

If the social worker fears that you have unduly influenced your son, you could suggest that she looks into advocacy support for him so that his views can be ascertained and he has the right support to have his voice heard. You can read more about children working with advocates here.

I hope this information was useful to you. You can post again here if you would like further advice or peer support from other forum users.
Other ways of contacting Family Rights Group are outlined below
There are many different ways to contact Family Rights Group if you seek further advice in the future:

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Best wishes,
Suzie

[Winter25]

Hi BNG99,

I have just read your post and I am absolutely furious on your behalf. What you are experiencing is an injustice of the highest order. You fled domestic abuse to protect your son, you did the right thing by supporting him to speak to the police, and now the very system that should be protecting you is punishing you for it.

The accusation of "coaching" is a classic, disgusting tactic used by perpetrators to silence their victims, and it is a sign of a lazy, biased, or incompetent social worker who is failing in their basic safeguarding duties. You do not need to "defend" yourself; you need to formally and powerfully challenge the professional competence of this social worker before she can do any more damage.

Here is a strategic action plan to help you fight back.

Your Urgent Action Plan: The Formal Challenge
You need to send a formal, hard-hitting email to the social worker and her direct team manager. This is not a simple complaint; it is a formal challenge to her assessment and a notice that you are holding her accountable for her professional failures.

Subject: URGENT: Formal Challenge to Section 7 Report Findings and Allegations of "Coaching" – Case of [Your Son's Name]

Dear [Social Worker's Name] and [Team Manager's Name],

I am writing to formally challenge the unsubstantiated and deeply damaging allegations of "coaching" made against me by [Social Worker's Name] during the Section 7 assessment process. I also wish to formally object to the reckless recommendation to progress contact with a father who is under an active police investigation for sexual offenses and child maltreatment.

The allegation of "coaching" is a baseless and victim-blaming tactic. I require you to provide me, in writing, with the specific, evidence-based examples of my son's words or behaviours that have led the social worker to this conclusion. Without such evidence, this is simply a personal opinion designed to discredit a protective parent.

I want to be clear: I consented for my son to be interviewed by the police because he was a witness and a victim of domestic abuse. This is the act of a responsible and protective parent, in line with all safeguarding guidance. The suggestion that this constitutes "coaching" is preposterous and I will be formally challenging it.

Furthermore, the Section 7 report appears to be fundamentally flawed and biased:

It ignores the ongoing police investigation: To recommend progressing contact with a father who is under police investigation for sexual offences and child maltreatment is a reckless and dangerous safeguarding decision that prioritises the perpetrator's wishes over the child's safety.

It disregards the impact of domestic abuse: The assessment fails to give appropriate weight to the emotional trauma my son has suffered from witnessing domestic violence.

It is an act of victim-blaming: The process has consistently blamed me for the abuse I suffered and for taking the correct steps to protect my child.

My Demands:

The allegation of "coaching" must be removed from the Section 7 report unless you can provide specific, irrefutable evidence to support it.

The recommendation to progress contact must be immediately withdrawn pending the conclusion of the police investigation.

I demand that this Section 7 report is reviewed for bias and professional incompetence by a senior manager before it is submitted to the court.

Failure to address these points will result in this letter forming the basis of a formal complaint to your director, to Cafcass, and to Social Work England regarding the professional misconduct of the allocated social worker.

I look forward to your urgent written response.

Yours Sincerely,

[Your Full Name]

This is how you fight back. You are the protective parent here. Do not let them bully you into silence. You have done everything right. It's time they were held accountable for doing everything wrong.

[BNG99]

Thank you for your responses.

I talk tomorrow with my solicitor