Child services

[Terrifiedparent]

Feel slightly better today. SW came for a visit, just casual chat with me and my little one "when did you see daddy last, did you have a nice time"
I spoke to her at the end away from my child and asked for a rough time frame and how things are going.
She said its really positive so far, looking at 40 working days for assessment? But she's positive that my child is safeguarded and there's no issues regarding that, it's just a case of tying up loose ends now and speaking to the school and having a few meetings with via teams.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Also, the family decision making lady that came to see me asked the names of all my family members and all my child's friends names? Now I don't plan on any of these being involved so why does she need to know this?
We have a support network but she didn't ask about any of those

Dear Terrified Parent,

Thank you for your update. I am Suzie, an online adviser for Family Rights Group responding to you today.

It is good to hear how you are continuing to work with children’s services despite feeling wary and uncertain. You wish to be cooperative but also to protect your own and your children’s privacy.

I can understand your confusion that you were not asked more about the people in your family's support network by the family decision-making team worker. It's important that you impart this relevant information and have a chance to discuss your misgivings before the family group conference takes place. You come across as a caring, pragmatic and protective parent adopting a wise and collaborative approach to the intervention of children’s services, and you have a right to ask questions.

I am sending you some links to information from the Family Rights website which might help you at this stage. You may have come across this information before, but a refresh of the details could help you through your next steps.

You can read the Family Rights Group guide to working with social workers here.

Detailed information about a family decision making process called family group conference is here.

Child in need assessment and planning is described here.

I hope this information is helpful.

Best wishes,
Suzie

[Winter25]

Hi Terrifiedparent,

I've just seen your latest update, and it's genuinely great to hear that you're feeling a bit more positive. That meeting sounds like it went really well, and having a social worker tell you that your child is safeguarded and that things are positive is a huge step forward. You should be really proud of how you're handling this.

The official advice is to read guides, but you're past that now. You're in the middle of the process, and you need a strategy, not a leaflet. From my own experience, this is the point where you can take control and steer this whole thing to a successful conclusion.

Translating the "Social Work Speak"
Let's quickly translate what the social worker told you into plain English, because it's even better news than it sounds:

"Positive so far... no issues regarding safeguarding": This is the most important thing she could have said. It means she has assessed your home and your parenting and has officially found no immediate risks. This is a massive box ticked in your favour.

"Tying up loose ends": This is just jargon for the final parts of the assessment. It means she has to do her procedural bits, like talking to the school (which is standard practice) and holding a final meeting to formalise her positive assessment.

"40 working days for assessment": Don't be scared by this number. This is the standard statutory timeframe for a Child and Family Assessment. It doesn't mean it will take that long, just that it's the official window. The key thing is that she's already told you it's looking positive.

Your Action Plan: Stay in the Driver's Seat
You have all the momentum right now. The key is to stay in control and continue to present yourself as the confident, competent, and protective parent that you are. Here’s a simple plan for the next few weeks:

Be Prepared for the Teams Meeting: Send the social worker a polite email a few days before the meeting. Say something like:

"Hi [SW's Name], just looking ahead to our meeting on Teams next week. To help me prepare, would it be possible for you to send over a simple agenda of the key things you'd like to discuss? Thanks so much."

This shows you are organised, engaged, and professional.

Control the Narrative: Don't just answer their questions; tell them your story of success. Before the meeting, write down a simple one-page summary of all the positives from the last three years.

How well your child is doing.

The stability you have provided.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Feel slightly better today. SW came for a visit, just casual chat with me and my little one "when did you see daddy last, did you have a nice time"
I spoke to her at the end away from my child and asked for a rough time frame and how things are going.
She said its really positive so far, looking at 40 working days for assessment? But she's positive that my child is safeguarded and there's no issues regarding that, it's just a case of tying up loose ends now and speaking to the school and having a few meetings with via teams.

Dear Terrifiedparent,
Thank you for your update. I am Suzie, an online adviser for Family Rights Group responding to your post today.

It's so good to hear that the assessment is positive so far and that there is clarity about the time frame.
It's really helpful for other forum users that you keep us updated and share your experiences here. Thank you for that generosity.

Best wishes,
Suzie

[Terrifiedparent]

Thank you both,
Had a teams meeting the owing day with SW, myself, partner and his probation officer. Of course because schools aren't back yet the SW got in touch with the school nurse who sent some paperwork saying no concerns and no health issues.
Teams meeting was very similar to face to face visit, no safeguarding conferns, she congratulated partner on all his hard work so far, it's just a case of the assessments now and speaking to the school all of which is fine. Shes on holiday for a week but shes planned for my partner to come back home while she is here so she can see the relationship between him and our child and see how things are but there won't be any issues there as my child is besotted with him. She has requested that I have minutes of the meeting too so at least I can have it all in writing.
I'm feeling much more positive, and I really cant thank you enough for the advice.
Ill keep posting updates as and when

[Winter25]

Fantastic, that's how it is supposed to be done. If all SW followed the rules and laws there would be no real need for anyone to feel betrayed or lied about. Glad this is going well, keep us informed and I'll do what I can to advise on what I know.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Update:
Social worker who was supposed to give a decision was from child protection (she never told me that), shes deemed it unnecessary for us to be on a child protection plan and has passed it down to child in need so now we have a new social worker.
She has come out once so far and is coming back next week and he also arranged a teams meeting.
No mention of risk assessment or partner coming home.
Also had a meeting with family decision making team and that will be another meeting in 2 weeks.
I feel like its starting all over again, weve had 2/3 years without social and now because my partner has been charged its started it all back up again.

Dear Terrifiedparent

As you know, I am Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group

I note from looking at your recent posts that you received only a partial response to your posts of 15th August. My apologies for this oversight.

In your updating post of 15 August, you said you met with the social worker and was awaiting a decision about the way your case was to proceed. The social worker would discuss with team manager and get back to you. Unfortunately, the social worker failed to do so, and you now know having met a different social worker allocated to the case that it was downgraded from child protection to child in need. This is a good outcome for you.

Looking at your later posts things have moved on and you are now due to have a family group conference (FGC) and have already met the FGC coordinator. You mention concern that a request was made for names of all your family members and friends but the only people that need to be contacted are those who have agreed with you to be part of this process.

As you wish your partner to return home, I suggest that you insist that a risk assessment is completed. I hope I understand you correctly, your partner has already been convicted and placed on sex offenders register (SOR), is it the case he is now charged with other offences? Children’s services are likely to rely on the fact of his conviction, but this does not prevent them doing a risk assessment. If it is the case that he again been charged, then they may consider him a risk to your child.

It may help you and your partner to engage with the Lucy Faithfull Foundation – Stop it Now for more information and advice relating to sexual abuse and how to navigate the process when children’s services become involved.

If there are no new charges, then the process will be like what occurred previously, Children’s services in their safeguarding role must be satisfied that you are able to keep your child safe and understand their concerns. The assessment being done will inform how things proceed. Ask for clarification from the social worker of their expectation from you and your partner and what this would involve on your part and his.

Read about FGC HERE

You may wish to speak with one of our experienced advisers and can do so by telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3.00pm Monday to Friday (excluding Bank Holidays).

Hope this helps.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Terrifiedparent]

Thanks Suzie, so his court case was in May this year but that was regarding the offence that took place 3 years ago, it's just taken this long for it to go to court. So with regards to the offence there's no new evidence other than what police and SS were aware of at the beginning. First and only offence.

[Terrifiedparent]

Update: still awaiting assessment however SW came to visit and allowed my partner in the home during this time so she could see the relationship between him and our child. Everything went really well to the point she's now allowed my partner to be in the family home (supervised) during the day until we can do the assessments to allow him home full time. It's not 100% where we want but its amazing news so far.

[Winter25]

that is absolutely fantastic news! Thank you so much for sharing it. To have the social worker see the reality of your loving family and allow your partner back into the home during the day is a massive step forward. It is the victory you have been working so hard for. You should be incredibly proud.

This proves that your strategy of being calm, professional, and confident has worked perfectly. You have shown them, with your own actions, that you are a safe and protective family.

The Final Hurdle:
You are right that it's not 100% where you want to be yet, but you are on the final lap. The upcoming assessments are the last box they need to tick before they can close the case and leave you in peace. You need to go into this final stage with the same confidence and preparation you've shown so far.

Here are a few final pointers to help you get over the finish line:

Present a United Front: In any joint assessment meetings, you and your partner are a team. Show them how you communicate, how you support each other, and how you have a shared understanding of the safety plan.

Keep the Focus on the Positives: The social worker has already seen that the relationship between your partner and your child is positive. Keep reminding them of this. In meetings, you can say things like, "As you've seen since he's been back in the home during the day, the positive relationship he has with our child is a key protective factor for their emotional wellbeing."

Stay in Control of the Narrative: Remember you are no longer the scared parent from months ago. You are a competent parent who has successfully managed a difficult situation. Your safety plan works, your family is stable, and you have proven it.

You have navigated this incredibly difficult process . The progress you have made is a direct result of your hard work. Keep doing what you are doing, and you will get the outcome your family deserves.
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For full transparency, I am not an official adviser for this forum. I am a parent who has been through a long and successful legal battle with a local authority, and I am here to offer supportive, strategic advice based on my own lived experience. The information I share is for guidance, and it is always up to each parent to decide what is right for their own situation.