Hi after some advice if possible.
My 4 yr old daughter lives with me CAO(im father )in place.
Social services were involved as both myself and mum were in addictive addiction,2 months before my daughter was born I started into recovery an have been clean ever since.
My daughter came to live with me at 8 weeks old and after 6 months with me was removed from child protection an SS advised me to get CAO in place to which I did.
Mean while mum remained in active addiction until 2 yrs ago when she took the steps to change her life and go into recovery and has been doing fantastic ever since.
Recently me an mum have been getting closer again an realise we still love each other an want to try again,not live together but be together in some format,but we agree living together right now is a no no.
Mum has a 14 yr old daughter who was in foster care until 14 months ago and was returned to mums care,as I understand SS are still involved with her daughter,on something possibly called a reunification plan.
My question is will SS accept us trying again?will they get involved again?we have nothing to hard and are willing to co operate with them fully,I'm just curious as to know what road they may want to go down if any.
Hope all that makes sense TIA
Getting back with ex
Re: Getting back with ex
Hi, this does make sense, and well done to both of you for the work you’ve each put into recovery.
The short answer is: yes, social services can accept this, and no, getting back together does not automatically trigger involvement or undo the progress you’ve made.
A few key points that should help put your mind at ease:
First, you already have a Child Arrangements Order (CAO) and your daughter has been living safely and stably with you for years. Social services closed their involvement and advised the CAO precisely because they were satisfied with her care. That doesn’t get undone simply because adults rebuild a relationship.
Second, recovery is recognised as change, especially where it’s sustained. You’ve been clean since before your daughter was born, and mum has been in recovery for two years and has successfully had her older child returned to her care. That is strong evidence of change, not risk.
Third, you’re not proposing to live together. That’s important. Being in a relationship is not the same as cohabiting, and social services cannot dictate adult relationships unless there is a current safeguarding concern. From what you’ve described, there isn’t one.
Fourth, mum’s social services involvement with her older child is separate. A reunification plan for her 14-year-old does not automatically transfer risk to your daughter or reopen your case. Each child and household is assessed individually.
In practical terms, what might happen (and this is the realistic worst case, not the likely one) is:
Social services may ask questions if they become aware,
They may want reassurance that both of you remain stable in recovery,
They may simply note the information and take no action at all.
What they cannot do without evidence is:
Remove your daughter,
Revoke your CAO,
Force you not to have a relationship,
Reopen child protection purely on historic addiction where there is clear, sustained change.
Your approach is exactly right: being open, cooperative, and child-focused. If anything, that works in your favour.
If you want to be extra cautious, some parents in your position choose to:
Keep boundaries clear (which you already are) so that is good
Continue recovery supports,
Document stability (school, routines, health, etc.).
But there’s nothing in what you’ve written that suggests you’re “doing something wrong” or heading for automatic intervention.
You’ve both already done the hardest part in Rebuilding carefully and responsibly is not something social services are meant to punish.
---------------------------
For transparency: I’m not an adviser here, just a parent with lived experience of LA / SS and courts and sharing what I’ve learned along the way.
The short answer is: yes, social services can accept this, and no, getting back together does not automatically trigger involvement or undo the progress you’ve made.
A few key points that should help put your mind at ease:
First, you already have a Child Arrangements Order (CAO) and your daughter has been living safely and stably with you for years. Social services closed their involvement and advised the CAO precisely because they were satisfied with her care. That doesn’t get undone simply because adults rebuild a relationship.
Second, recovery is recognised as change, especially where it’s sustained. You’ve been clean since before your daughter was born, and mum has been in recovery for two years and has successfully had her older child returned to her care. That is strong evidence of change, not risk.
Third, you’re not proposing to live together. That’s important. Being in a relationship is not the same as cohabiting, and social services cannot dictate adult relationships unless there is a current safeguarding concern. From what you’ve described, there isn’t one.
Fourth, mum’s social services involvement with her older child is separate. A reunification plan for her 14-year-old does not automatically transfer risk to your daughter or reopen your case. Each child and household is assessed individually.
In practical terms, what might happen (and this is the realistic worst case, not the likely one) is:
Social services may ask questions if they become aware,
They may want reassurance that both of you remain stable in recovery,
They may simply note the information and take no action at all.
What they cannot do without evidence is:
Remove your daughter,
Revoke your CAO,
Force you not to have a relationship,
Reopen child protection purely on historic addiction where there is clear, sustained change.
Your approach is exactly right: being open, cooperative, and child-focused. If anything, that works in your favour.
If you want to be extra cautious, some parents in your position choose to:
Keep boundaries clear (which you already are) so that is good
Continue recovery supports,
Document stability (school, routines, health, etc.).
But there’s nothing in what you’ve written that suggests you’re “doing something wrong” or heading for automatic intervention.
You’ve both already done the hardest part in Rebuilding carefully and responsibly is not something social services are meant to punish.
---------------------------
For transparency: I’m not an adviser here, just a parent with lived experience of LA / SS and courts and sharing what I’ve learned along the way.
Re: Getting back with ex
Thank you for the reply,very detailed an much appreciated.
We kind of thought this,but sometimes just a niggling thought of what would be the route SS could take is little daunting no matter how well we've done.
Once again thanks for reply,take care.
We kind of thought this,but sometimes just a niggling thought of what would be the route SS could take is little daunting no matter how well we've done.
Once again thanks for reply,take care.
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