Child protection plan after false accusation
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RGD123
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Mon Sep 28, 2020 8:55 pm
Child protection plan after false accusation
I am so embarrassed to say that I made false allegation about my partner sexually abusing my child. He was unfaithful to me and I was so angry I picked up the phone called 999 and reported him. I shown some bath time videos on his phone and said he had abused him in these videos. They believed me. He was on bail for a while and later they took no further action. I know this is awful Iam disgusted with myself. He is an amazing dad. But children services decided to put my child on protection plan. They came on so heavily, they kept praising me for reporting him, I was scared to say the whole truth behind reporting him .I did at one point say I only reported him to make him suffer and that I never for a second believe he would abuse my child but the social worker didnt let me finish and said that I was minimising the risks. So since then I have just kept quiet. Although my husband defends himself time and time again they wont believe him one bit. Its been such a long journey but they have agreed for my husband to come back home as long as I supervise him. Everytime they make disgusting assumptions about him in reports and conferences I feel so guilty but I am scared to defend him because they will accuse me of defending him and wont see me as a positive factor anymore. Social worker said in the future he may be able to be allowed unsupervised contact but it's a long time away. What kills me the most is that now all this will stay on my childs records as well as my husbands even after child protection plan ends. I want to know does every single detail still show up at hospitals and schools even after it's all over? How will these accusations affect my childs future? I am so scared of the damage I have caused. How will this affect us in the future as a family? If we ever want to have another child will they get involved again, will they keep on monitoring my child? Will we be judged at hospital and at school forever?
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RGD123
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Mon Sep 28, 2020 8:55 pm
Re: Child protection plan after false accusation
Please somebody reply and help me. We have our review conference soon, should I tell the truth?
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4996
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Child protection plan after false accusation
Dear RGD123
Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for your post.
My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group. I see from your post that children’s services are involved with your family following disclosures you made to the police about your husband.
You are now very distressed by the situation you find yourself in as you regret taking the action you did in reporting your husband to the police. In support of your allegation of sexual abuse you provided video evidence to the police and, although, the police have decided to take no further action against your husband, this is not the case for children’s services.
There are different considerations for the police and children’s services when dealing with issues such as this one. The police need to be sure there is sufficient evidence that would lead to a successful prosecution and the criminal test is beyond reasonable doubt. Children’s services on the other are concerned with safeguarding children and the civil test is on the balance of probability meaning something is more likely to have happened than not.
In your situation children’s services, are pleased that you took appropriate action to safeguard your child. You now say that you took this action to punish and get back at your husband because you believed he had been unfaithful to you and you now regret doing this. Unfortunately, children’s services now, do not accept your explanation for making the report to the police and may now be of the view that you are minimising what you said took place, they may also have seen the video evidence you provided and on the basis of that took the view that there was possible abuse and this is why they have gone down the child protection route.
It is unfortunate that you decided to take this step if it is not true that you believe your husband has harmed your child. You provided video evidence which might suggest that you had some concerns. You were reporting what is a very serious offence to the police and backed it up with video evidence. If you think about it now it, you may understand that children’s services might find it difficult to understand why you would say it if it is not true, when you could have made other decisions about your husband being unfaithful. If your husband was charged, this could have led to him being imprisoned and being registered as a sex offender so this may be why your retraction is not being accepted now. Children's services see you now as acting appropriately and as a protective mother. Telling them again that you were not telling the truth might result in them looking at you in a different light in respect of protecting your child.
Your husband is seen as a risk and this is why he is only able to have supervised contact. Children’s services will need to work with him and carry out a risk assessment before a decision is made about unsupervised contact.
Regarding your questions as to what will happen in the future because of the allegation and child protection. Children’s services records will show information on why they were involved. Although your husband was not charged by the police he was questioned about sexual abuse so police records will show this.
Once the case is closed, children’s services will not continue to monitor your family, as they would be satisfied that there are no safeguarding concerns before the case is closed. If you and your husband have a child in the future, children’s services may become involved. They will be looking at the circumstances at that time but the history will be on record.
You may wish to speak to someone about your current situation. You may find it helpful to speak to the Lucy Faithfull Foundation on 0808 100 0900 to get more information and explore further your reasons/actions in reporting what is a very serious offence which you now say is untrue. You could also speak to your GP who will be able to offer support at this difficult time.
Please also read our advice sheet about Child protection procedures.
Should you wish to speak to an adviser, you can telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.
I hope this is helpful.
Best wishes
Suzie
Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for your post.
My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group. I see from your post that children’s services are involved with your family following disclosures you made to the police about your husband.
You are now very distressed by the situation you find yourself in as you regret taking the action you did in reporting your husband to the police. In support of your allegation of sexual abuse you provided video evidence to the police and, although, the police have decided to take no further action against your husband, this is not the case for children’s services.
There are different considerations for the police and children’s services when dealing with issues such as this one. The police need to be sure there is sufficient evidence that would lead to a successful prosecution and the criminal test is beyond reasonable doubt. Children’s services on the other are concerned with safeguarding children and the civil test is on the balance of probability meaning something is more likely to have happened than not.
In your situation children’s services, are pleased that you took appropriate action to safeguard your child. You now say that you took this action to punish and get back at your husband because you believed he had been unfaithful to you and you now regret doing this. Unfortunately, children’s services now, do not accept your explanation for making the report to the police and may now be of the view that you are minimising what you said took place, they may also have seen the video evidence you provided and on the basis of that took the view that there was possible abuse and this is why they have gone down the child protection route.
It is unfortunate that you decided to take this step if it is not true that you believe your husband has harmed your child. You provided video evidence which might suggest that you had some concerns. You were reporting what is a very serious offence to the police and backed it up with video evidence. If you think about it now it, you may understand that children’s services might find it difficult to understand why you would say it if it is not true, when you could have made other decisions about your husband being unfaithful. If your husband was charged, this could have led to him being imprisoned and being registered as a sex offender so this may be why your retraction is not being accepted now. Children's services see you now as acting appropriately and as a protective mother. Telling them again that you were not telling the truth might result in them looking at you in a different light in respect of protecting your child.
Your husband is seen as a risk and this is why he is only able to have supervised contact. Children’s services will need to work with him and carry out a risk assessment before a decision is made about unsupervised contact.
Regarding your questions as to what will happen in the future because of the allegation and child protection. Children’s services records will show information on why they were involved. Although your husband was not charged by the police he was questioned about sexual abuse so police records will show this.
Once the case is closed, children’s services will not continue to monitor your family, as they would be satisfied that there are no safeguarding concerns before the case is closed. If you and your husband have a child in the future, children’s services may become involved. They will be looking at the circumstances at that time but the history will be on record.
You may wish to speak to someone about your current situation. You may find it helpful to speak to the Lucy Faithfull Foundation on 0808 100 0900 to get more information and explore further your reasons/actions in reporting what is a very serious offence which you now say is untrue. You could also speak to your GP who will be able to offer support at this difficult time.
Please also read our advice sheet about Child protection procedures.
Should you wish to speak to an adviser, you can telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.
I hope this is helpful.
Best wishes
Suzie
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RGD123
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Mon Sep 28, 2020 8:55 pm
Re: Child protection plan after false accusation
Hi Suzie,
Thank you for your reply.
My post was a long time ago, I felt I needed to reply again to make my post more clearer.
At the time of writing that post I was in such a bad place, everything was so confusing and I was very unclear when writing my post. If I had explained better I think you could have helped me more.
Basically we are from a Middle Eastern country and there are cultural expressions around praising a male child’s genitals as a way of saying how proud they are to have a son. In these videos such expressions were made. When translated to English it came across very concerning. To be honest I myself hadn’t been around much of that expression being a girl and growing up in the west. I did see others from the same culture express this sort of thing around their little sons but whilst others laughed about it I didn’t like it. When telling my husband not to express pride to our son in this way it he would laugh about it and say its just a way to say how much he loves him and show him off being his son. At the time of reporting it I justified it by saying to myself that although there is no sexual intention it is something I see as inappropriate and don’t want my son to hear. I was very angry with him at the time and wanted to hurt him. I guess I somehow manipulated the truth. I remember social services kept asking for someone to confirm that this was cultural because they didn’t believe my husband. My mum opted to explain and confirm the cultural expressions but I wouldn’t let her because I felt it would come across as her defending my husband. I thought it was a trap to see how many people in the family defended my husband so they could take my child away. Turns out they were genuinely trying to understand. It’s true how it’s said honesty is the best policy. I am happy in a way that my husband now understands how inappropriate such expressions can come across away from our culture. He never does it anymore and tells others from the same culture not to either.
I am curious whether you may have been able to offer me more or different advice if I had explained it more clearly.?
Thank you
Thank you for your reply.
My post was a long time ago, I felt I needed to reply again to make my post more clearer.
At the time of writing that post I was in such a bad place, everything was so confusing and I was very unclear when writing my post. If I had explained better I think you could have helped me more.
Basically we are from a Middle Eastern country and there are cultural expressions around praising a male child’s genitals as a way of saying how proud they are to have a son. In these videos such expressions were made. When translated to English it came across very concerning. To be honest I myself hadn’t been around much of that expression being a girl and growing up in the west. I did see others from the same culture express this sort of thing around their little sons but whilst others laughed about it I didn’t like it. When telling my husband not to express pride to our son in this way it he would laugh about it and say its just a way to say how much he loves him and show him off being his son. At the time of reporting it I justified it by saying to myself that although there is no sexual intention it is something I see as inappropriate and don’t want my son to hear. I was very angry with him at the time and wanted to hurt him. I guess I somehow manipulated the truth. I remember social services kept asking for someone to confirm that this was cultural because they didn’t believe my husband. My mum opted to explain and confirm the cultural expressions but I wouldn’t let her because I felt it would come across as her defending my husband. I thought it was a trap to see how many people in the family defended my husband so they could take my child away. Turns out they were genuinely trying to understand. It’s true how it’s said honesty is the best policy. I am happy in a way that my husband now understands how inappropriate such expressions can come across away from our culture. He never does it anymore and tells others from the same culture not to either.
I am curious whether you may have been able to offer me more or different advice if I had explained it more clearly.?
Thank you
-
Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4996
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Child protection plan after false accusation
Dear RGD123
Thank you for your further post.
You have provided a lot of detail about your previous situation, however, you have not provided an update or asked a question about the current involvement of children’s services, which is the area of advice that we can give. The advice provided is always based on the information shared with us at the time.
If you have a new query about working with children’s services, if they are still involved, then please do post again or perhaps you would like to discuss your situation with an adviser by calling the freephone advice helpline on 0808 801 0366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm.
You may also find these tips on working with social workers helpful.
Best wishes
Suzie
Thank you for your further post.
You have provided a lot of detail about your previous situation, however, you have not provided an update or asked a question about the current involvement of children’s services, which is the area of advice that we can give. The advice provided is always based on the information shared with us at the time.
If you have a new query about working with children’s services, if they are still involved, then please do post again or perhaps you would like to discuss your situation with an adviser by calling the freephone advice helpline on 0808 801 0366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm.
You may also find these tips on working with social workers helpful.
Best wishes
Suzie
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Ya Rahman ya Raheem
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Thu Jul 25, 2024 10:37 pm
Re: Child protection plan after false accusation
The back ground. For S47 inquiry.
July 2024 I refused my son direct payment manageable account because I am fully capable to manage
10 July 2024 the Disabled Children Team social worker threatened to she will be break my family,
I request to her manager to resolve our issues but her manager refused to listen me and she sent a big harsh email by saying she fully support the social worker also her team manager threatened me if I will refuse to sign the manageable account papers she will arrange the safeguarding meeting. (I have emailed evidence)
after 10 days 20 July they made a false incident in my house and they don’t have any evidence of that.
I always had email updates for respite dates and times, July 2024 was the first month I had a paper copy calendar for my autistic son care services
In July calandra, 10/7/24 and 16/7/24 were highlighted for respite.
On Saturday 20th July I called care-services around 8 am to confirm if the carers were to coming to collecting my son or not. I thought if they were to come so I would have enough time to get children ready.
But there was no answer. I then emailed Care services manager as well as text messages to confirm but again no reply.
I then planned something else for children.
Around 10.40 am carers called me saying that they were to arriving in 20 minutes. It was very short notice and difficult to get children ready in 20 minutes while I was in the middle of preparing lunch for children and they were still in their pajamas.
I had to decide whether to accept or cancel the carers unplanned visit.
But I said to carers I would try my best to get children ready as quickly as possible.
Bear in mind that the 20th July was not scheduled for respite but some time on the weekends they come over without advance confirmation that was the reason I was calling care-services early in the morning to get to know their plans for the day.
I quickly changed clothes to both children prepare my son day-bag and medicine bag. 12 PM is my son dinner time so l quickly ready and pack his dinner. Everything was ready in 20 minutes.
I handed over my son 's both bags to carers and explained them which bag is carrying medication and which one is carrying food and other stuff.
I gave carers RED helmet which I always keeping close by whenever it's needed so easy to grab. She refused to take the red helmet I explained her that the red helmet is much safer than the blue helmet ones and I am using this all the time.
But she insisted for the blue helmet, which care-services declares it unsafe by themselves., therefore they have cancelled overnight stay for my son I have emailed evidence and photos of the helmets.
One of the carer offered me help so I told her that if you insist for the blue helmet so it's in bedroom. She was looking for it for a while then came back to kitchen said that I couldn't find it. I went to bed and found it under the blanket.
Since Care services rejected to use it and were waiting for the new one, it may be misplaced somewhere. It wasn't in use anyway.
But the carers cancelled the Ash Square stay and left without my son .
I just wonder what have I done wrong?
They made the case against me out of nothing the the Disabled children Team social worker made lie story against me and registered my both children in child protection. Now the social worker treated me like a slave she gives any order I have to say yes because my children on Risk. They have punished me for, which wasn't my mistake .
I have losts of evidence about the social worker neglected but no one ready to see them
The children protection meeting was held on 1st October 24. I was wrongly accused on many things which I disagreed. I brought written evidence and shared them with the members of conference but my children names were still registered with children protection.
I just wanted to be heard. Someone please advise, what would be the right place to be heard to prove my innocence.
Thank you
July 2024 I refused my son direct payment manageable account because I am fully capable to manage
10 July 2024 the Disabled Children Team social worker threatened to she will be break my family,
I request to her manager to resolve our issues but her manager refused to listen me and she sent a big harsh email by saying she fully support the social worker also her team manager threatened me if I will refuse to sign the manageable account papers she will arrange the safeguarding meeting. (I have emailed evidence)
after 10 days 20 July they made a false incident in my house and they don’t have any evidence of that.
I always had email updates for respite dates and times, July 2024 was the first month I had a paper copy calendar for my autistic son care services
In July calandra, 10/7/24 and 16/7/24 were highlighted for respite.
On Saturday 20th July I called care-services around 8 am to confirm if the carers were to coming to collecting my son or not. I thought if they were to come so I would have enough time to get children ready.
But there was no answer. I then emailed Care services manager as well as text messages to confirm but again no reply.
I then planned something else for children.
Around 10.40 am carers called me saying that they were to arriving in 20 minutes. It was very short notice and difficult to get children ready in 20 minutes while I was in the middle of preparing lunch for children and they were still in their pajamas.
I had to decide whether to accept or cancel the carers unplanned visit.
But I said to carers I would try my best to get children ready as quickly as possible.
Bear in mind that the 20th July was not scheduled for respite but some time on the weekends they come over without advance confirmation that was the reason I was calling care-services early in the morning to get to know their plans for the day.
I quickly changed clothes to both children prepare my son day-bag and medicine bag. 12 PM is my son dinner time so l quickly ready and pack his dinner. Everything was ready in 20 minutes.
I handed over my son 's both bags to carers and explained them which bag is carrying medication and which one is carrying food and other stuff.
I gave carers RED helmet which I always keeping close by whenever it's needed so easy to grab. She refused to take the red helmet I explained her that the red helmet is much safer than the blue helmet ones and I am using this all the time.
But she insisted for the blue helmet, which care-services declares it unsafe by themselves., therefore they have cancelled overnight stay for my son I have emailed evidence and photos of the helmets.
One of the carer offered me help so I told her that if you insist for the blue helmet so it's in bedroom. She was looking for it for a while then came back to kitchen said that I couldn't find it. I went to bed and found it under the blanket.
Since Care services rejected to use it and were waiting for the new one, it may be misplaced somewhere. It wasn't in use anyway.
But the carers cancelled the Ash Square stay and left without my son .
I just wonder what have I done wrong?
They made the case against me out of nothing the the Disabled children Team social worker made lie story against me and registered my both children in child protection. Now the social worker treated me like a slave she gives any order I have to say yes because my children on Risk. They have punished me for, which wasn't my mistake .
I have losts of evidence about the social worker neglected but no one ready to see them
The children protection meeting was held on 1st October 24. I was wrongly accused on many things which I disagreed. I brought written evidence and shared them with the members of conference but my children names were still registered with children protection.
I just wanted to be heard. Someone please advise, what would be the right place to be heard to prove my innocence.
Thank you
-
Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4996
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Child protection plan after false accusation
Dear Ya Raham ya Raheem
Thank you for posting again. It appears that you have posted again the same post as you did 24 October. A response was sent to you in respect of this post via email in private messages.
Your situation unfortunately does not fall within the remit of our service as explained in the email sent to you on 29th October.
It seems that you are very dissatisfied with the way you have been treated and I can only suggest that you consider making a formal complaint. You should be able to find the complaints procedure for social services on your local authority’s website.
I am including links to our website related to a useful links page and to a GUIDE about working with social workers you may find helpful
Hope this information will be useful to you
Best wishes
Suzie
Thank you for posting again. It appears that you have posted again the same post as you did 24 October. A response was sent to you in respect of this post via email in private messages.
Your situation unfortunately does not fall within the remit of our service as explained in the email sent to you on 29th October.
It seems that you are very dissatisfied with the way you have been treated and I can only suggest that you consider making a formal complaint. You should be able to find the complaints procedure for social services on your local authority’s website.
I am including links to our website related to a useful links page and to a GUIDE about working with social workers you may find helpful
Hope this information will be useful to you
Best wishes
Suzie
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FeelingBroken
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Tue Jan 29, 2019 12:13 am
Re: Child protection plan after false accusation
Did the social leave you alone in the end. What was the end to thusRGD123 wrote: Wed Sep 30, 2020 12:51 am I am so embarrassed to say that I made false allegation about my partner sexually abusing my child. He was unfaithful to me and I was so angry I picked up the phone called 999 and reported him. I shown some bath time videos on his phone and said he had abused him in these videos. They believed me. He was on bail for a while and later they took no further action. I know this is awful Iam disgusted with myself. He is an amazing dad. But children services decided to put my child on protection plan. They came on so heavily, they kept praising me for reporting him, I was scared to say the whole truth behind reporting him .I did at one point say I only reported him to make him suffer and that I never for a second believe he would abuse my child but the social worker didnt let me finish and said that I was minimising the risks. So since then I have just kept quiet. Although my husband defends himself time and time again they wont believe him one bit. Its been such a long journey but they have agreed for my husband to come back home as long as I supervise him. Everytime they make disgusting assumptions about him in reports and conferences I feel so guilty but I am scared to defend him because they will accuse me of defending him and wont see me as a positive factor anymore. Social worker said in the future he may be able to be allowed unsupervised contact but it's a long time away. What kills me the most is that now all this will stay on my childs records as well as my husbands even after child protection plan ends. I want to know does every single detail still show up at hospitals and schools even after it's all over? How will these accusations affect my childs future? I am so scared of the damage I have caused. How will this affect us in the future as a family? If we ever want to have another child will they get involved again, will they keep on monitoring my child? Will we be judged at hospital and at school forever?
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