ASPD

[BE1722]

Hi In 2021 me and my partners baby was taken in to care. We was involved in a car accident and myself and my partner was attacked by the people from the other car. Myself and my partner was then both arrested my assault, drink during and child neglect, all charges have now been dropped by the police. Whist we was in police custody our baby was kept in hospital under police protection. We was both asked if there was anybody who could care for our baby whilst we was in custody and we both put names forward and nobody was ever contacted. A member of social services came to the police station to see myself and my partner 18 hours later to get contact details for somebody within our family to care for our baby, but the police refused to let social services see either of us. Our baby was then placed in a foster family for 2 months before he has placed with my mother who is now his main carer. This has been going on since last July. My partner does have a history with the police. She was then out though psychological assessment and has been diagnosed with ASPD. Social have recently said that our baby is unlikely to come home in the next court hearing in February because they think that our baby would be at risk to harm, they have also said that he cannot come home to us for myself to be the main carer because apparently I would not be strong enough, social have also suggested that I could move in to my mothers but not his mother. We feel that we have been very unfairly treated and any help would be greatly appreciated.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear BE1722,

Welcome to the parents’ forum and thank you for your post. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties that you and your family have been experiencing and I hope that the following advice is of some help.

You say that your baby is now in the care of your mother. Children’s services initiated care proceedings and they have said that it is unlikely that they will recommend that your baby can return to your care, although they have suggested that you could move in with your mother to help care for your baby. We have information on our website here about care proceedings which you may find helpful.

You say that when your baby was initially taken into care the people whose names you put forward as possible carers were not contacted. These people should have been contacted by children’s services as they have a legal duty to place a child with family or friends before placing them with unrelated foster carers. You can find more information about this here. You may wish to make a formal complaint to children’s services about their failure to contact the people you initially put forward, however I would suggest that you discuss this with your solicitor first. You can see more information about making formal complaints on our website here.

It is positive that your baby is now in the care of your mother and it appears that children’s services do feel that you could play a significant role in caring for your son (with your mother as the main carer). You might wish to discuss this further with children’s services and your mother.

You may find it helpful to look at our website page here which has advice for fathers involved in care proceedings.

I hope that this has been of some help. Please post back if you have any further queries, or you can call our helpline to speak with an adviser on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm).

Best wishes,
Suzie

[BE1722]

Thank you so much for your reply it’s very helpful. What we are struggling with is that all of this would have been avoided if a family member was contacted in the first place. We have been given suggestions by social services and they are wanting for my mother to be the SGO. They have also said they because my partner has been diagnosed with ASPD that on a dad to day level she can care for our baby but there is risk that she could cause harm to him. We are struggling to digest this as nobody within our family agrees with the diagnosis. She had been diagnosed with ADHD and autism as a teen and feel she has been wrongly diagnosed.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear BE1722

Welcome back to the Parents’ Forum and thank you for your further post.

I understand your frustration that your family members were not proactively contacted to begin with which meant that your baby spent a couple of months in unrelated foster care. I advised how to address this in my earlier response. However, I don’t think that this would have prevented care proceedings taking place as if the baby were placed with any connected person they would still have had to be assessed as foster carers and usually this would involve the court in making care plans to safeguard your baby as well.

We have an advice sheet(2b) here for birth parents explaining what a Special Guardianship Order means; I hope this will be helpful to you.

Your partner had a psychological assessment, I think, as part of the care proceedings which led to her APSD diagnosis. She should discuss with her solicitor if wishing to respond to or challenge this assessment or to consider the possibility of seeking a further opinion regarding her diagnosis.

You should also work with your solicitor to argue for the best outcome for you and your baby. Here are some tips on working with your solicitor and advice on preparing for the final hearing.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes

Suzie