Wanting my children back

[Sassy S38]

I have 2 children that are under an sgo with my ex best friend, they are with her because of my bad mental health & there was abuse in my relationship, I’m still with my partner & my relationship is a lot better, there is no more abuse in the relationship, lately I’m starting to regret my children being with her as i don’t think she is giving them good care, & I wonder if I stand a good case to get them back, my little boy has just turned 3 & not potty trained one day he wants to use the toilet & the next day he doesn’t & then she doesn’t bother, my little girl has a lazy eye & doesn’t like wearing her eye patch, her eye is getting worse to the extent she has to have eye drops now as there was no improvement with her eye as my friend is not consistent with her wearing her eye patch, my Friend has a lot of anxiety issue’s about coming out with us for contact & now my little girl who is 4 is suffering with anxiety & we asked in March about the children having swimming lessons & said we was happy to pay & she has done nothing about it but takes them out to the same boring places… do you think I stand a chance at getting them back, I am now working full time in a hospital

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear SassyS38

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. Please accept my apologies for the deIay in responding to your post. I am sorry to hear of the difficulties that you have experienced which resulted in your two young children being placed with your friend under a Special Guardianship Order.

It is good to hear that your situation is much improved; well done for moving forward positively in your life. You are wondering if you are in a good position to have the children returned to you now due to the changes that you have made. You also have some concerns regarding your children’s progress in the Special Guardian’s care and that she is not following up on some actions or suggestions that have been made.

I think that, if you can, you should try to discuss the issues with the Special Guardian and offer support and encouragement to her. The issue with potty training may be something that the health visitor can help with. However, if that is not possible you could contact the Special Guardianship Support Team in your local authority and ask that they help you by liaising with the Special Guardian about these issues. If you are very worried that the Special Guardian is not meeting the children’s needs then you could discuss your concerns with the NSPCC or Children’s Services.

It is possible to apply to end a Special Guardianship Order. Please see page 11 of this advice sheet for more information about this. As a parent you would first have to ask the court’s permission to apply to end the order. The court will only allow a parent to apply to end the order if :

• There has been a “significant change of circumstances” since the special guardianship order was made and
• There is a chance that the application to end the order will be successful, and it is in the child’s best interests for the application to be heard.

You would need to be able to evidence that your mental health has stabilised and you are receiving the right support. Is your partner able to evidence that they have taken steps e.g. completed programmes to address their abusive behaviour? The court would also have to agree that it is the children’s best interests. The children are young and may have been with their Special Guardian for some time so the risk of disruption would have to be weighed up too.

All of the information you provided is relevant. An application to end a SGO is a private law matter which unfortunately we cannot provide any detailed advice on. However you can contact Child Law Advice or a solicitor to discuss the situation and consider your options.

I hope this is helpful and that everything works out.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Fosterryu]

What main points are seen as significant change

[KatKat10]

I suppose a significant change would be lifestyle etc, giving up drugs and drink.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

What main points are seen as significant change

Dear Fosterryu

I have provided a full response to your query in my reply to your other posts.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Fosterryu]

My mother has had an S.G.O order of my child..and for 4 years said I need to be supervised for contact..and the social services said to her this..shortly after the second year I've been allowed contact and over night stays ..I've later done research and asked for my court order..and at no point does it say I need to be supervised. We do not speak no more and I can show significant change and my mother is apposing and discouraged me and my new partner I've been with for 3 years. Can anyone tell me why such a person would do this to me.but grant me every Saturday night..I have a few risk concerns like force feeding my child..were do I stand in taking control and I've handed in the forms to get her back.do I stand a chance

[Fosterryu]

No one reply like

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

My mother has had an S.G.O order of my child..and for 4 years said I need to be supervised for contact..and the social services said to her this..shortly after the second year I've been allowed contact and over night stays ..I've later done research and asked for my court order..and at no point does it say I need to be supervised. We do not speak no more and I can show significant change and my mother is apposing and discouraged me and my new partner I've been with for 3 years. Can anyone tell me why such a person would do this to me.but grant me every Saturday night..I have a few risk concerns like force feeding my child..were do I stand in taking control and I've handed in the forms to get her back.do I stand a chance

Dear Fosterryu,

Thankyou for your post. You say that your child is living with your mother under a Special Guardianship Order. You would like your child to return to your care and ask whether this is likely to be successful. You also have questions about the contact that you are having with your child.

As there is a Special Guardianship Order in place your mother has ‘enhanced’ parental responsibility meaning that she can make decisions about your child, even without your consent. For this reason she can decide what level of contact she feels is appropriate for your child to have with you. You say that there is nothing in the order about what contact your child should have with you so it is indeed up to your mother to make this decision (and she may have been guided by children’s services advice after the order was first made). It is positive that your mother feels that your child is safe enough in your care to be able to have unsupervised contact and I am glad to hear that you are having regular and consistent contact. Although the relationship between yourself and your mother has broken down, it is also positive to hear that your mother is allowing contact to continue as this shows that she recognises that it is important for your child to have a relationship with you and she is willing to promote this.

I cannot advise you as to the likelihood of your child returning to your care as I do not have all the relevant information. If you wish to consider applying to court for the order to be discharged then I would suggest that you speak with the solicitor who represented you during the previous court proceedings. They (or someone at their firm) will be able to access all the relevant documents and be best placed to advise you. If you want any further advice about discharging a special guardianship order then you could contact Child Law Advice on 0300 330 5480 as they can offer private law advice to anyone who doesn’t have a solicitor.

We also have information on our advice sheet 2b about discharging a Special Guardianship Order. You can find this HERE on page 11.

Finally if you have any safeguarding concerns about your child and are worried they are being harmed, or are at risk of harm, then you should contact your local children’s services or the NSPCC helpline to report these concerns.

I hope that this is of some help. Please post again if you have any further queries or you can call our free, confidential adviceline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm). We also have a webchat which is currently open on Monday and Wednesday afternoons.

Best wishes,
Suzie

[Fosterryu]

Thankyou