My partner is on the SOR and recently found out I’m pregnant

[IamD3lirious]

My partner was found to have a few indecent images of teens on his phone, he was cautioned in early 2022 and has to be on the sex offenders register for 2 years.
I recently found out I was pregnant and I’m unsure of what’s gonna happen when we do have the child, I don’t want it to be taken away.
He is allowed to be around minors with supervision of an adult and social have done an assessment so he can see his younger brothers and he was seen to be of low or no risk.
I’m just concerned of social services involvement in my life, I don’t have a good opinion of social and I just see them as child grabbers that don’t really care..
I don’t know if I should leave him or stay, he’ll have 7 months left on the register when I do give birth.
Any advice

[Bossman1959]

Hi IamD3lerious,

I hear you are confused about what you should do and how this could affect the involvment with social services and your unborn child.

This must be really confusing for you, feeling that your actions based on your knowledge of the situation may not be enough to keep your baby from being placed as the social workers say " in a place of saftey".

I hear your concerns and distrust of social workers, that may be something you could think about talking through with childrens services.

From what you have written it seems the only issue the social worker should have is what will happen with regards to contact between your new addition to the family and the father.

To be on the register is a daunting thing and can change lives for ever. From what you have said so far it may be that your partner may be better distancing himself when the baby is born. That may sound harsh, and I agree is, however with technology he can still interact with his child from a distance which should put the minds of the social workers at ease. Unfair to the little one and father though.

I dont think there is a right way or a wrong way in this situation, your ex would be more than half way through his term on the register by the time the little one arrives.

Some social workers would see that as posative, whilst others would see SOR and become rigid in their expectations.
I would sugest that for the moment you enjoy your pregnancy with your partner, and discuss with each other how you think you should deal with the final 7 months. I am guessing it could be that he lives seperately and has supervised contact until he is off the register.

I think the fact that you are considering what to do before getting to the stumbling block shows forsight and care for yourself ( stress levels) and the baby who feels your emotions.

You could even aproach social services before your little one is born, it would certainly show them you are concerned that the situation be handled in the best way possible for all concerned.

I hope this helps, enjoy your new addition.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear IamD3lirious

Welcome to the discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie, I am an online adviser and will be replying to you today. Please accept our apologies for the delayed response this is due to the Christmas break.

I am sorry to hear of your distressed. It is a difficult time for you. I hope the information provided below offers some hope and useful information.

You are pregnant and concerned that children’s services will remove your child because your partner is on the Sex Offenders Register (SOR). Your partner was placed on the SOR for two years after receiving a police caution for having indecent images of children on his phone.

It would be a good idea to inform the midwife of your partner’s history. As part of their assessment process, they will ask you whether there are any concerns or potential concerns regarding your pregnancy. Informing them of your situation will demonstrate that you are working openly and transparently with professionals to ensure the safety of your, as yet, unborn child. Informing the midwife would prompt a referral to children’s service who will then complete a pre birth assessment. Usually, this assessment will start once you are over 22 weeks pregnant. As suggested by Bossman1958, you may also consider contacting children’s services direct to inform them of your situation.

The pre birth assessment will include an assessment of risk – including the conditions of your partner's caution. It will take into consideration who/what is the risk and who/what are the protective factors. I have attached a link HERE to further information regarding this assessment.

You do not say whether your partner lives with you. Children’s services do not have the authority to force your partner to leave the family home if he does live with you. However, they may escalate their concerns if they make this request and it is not adhered to.

Further, once the SOR comes to an end, it will not automatically result in children’s services withdrawing their involvement. Their thresholds for intervention differ from criminal investigations and they may remain involved depending on the outcome of assessment, recommendation and whether support is still needed to safeguard the child. They would need to be satisfied that the person(s) caring for the child are able to prioritise the child's wellbeing and needs above all others. Part of this can be achieved by engaging in recommended courses and programmes put forward by children's services or other professionals involved with the family.

I have added a link HERE to the Stop it Now organisation. This organisationStop is run by The Lucy Faithfull Foundation, the only UK-wide charity dedicated solely to preventing child sexual abuse. They support anyone with concerns about child sexual abuse and its prevention. it has some helpful information and guidance and a helpline - 0800 1000 900 which you and your partner may wish to access.

I cannot advise whether you should or should not remain in a relationship with your partner. It is a difficult decision and only one that you can make. I would suggest you seek support from your G.P. or midwifery services if you are feeling overwhelmed by your situation and this affecting your mental health wellbeing.

I hope you find the information helpful. You can ring our freephone advice line to discuss this with an adviser if you would like to; our number is 0808 8010366 and we are open from 9.30 am to 3.00 pm, Monday to Friday (except bank holidays). Or of course, you can post again on here if you need further advice.
Best wishes, Suzie