Hi, I have already posted my story so want to keep this one short. My 1st born loves with my mum under an SGO due to NAI that no one knew had happened or how it happened. The outcome of court was that no one knew what happens so to be on the safe side he was placed with my mother.
Fast forward 6 years & im pregnant again, it resulted from a one night stand. I wasn’t 100% sure who the dad was until I had the scan to find out how far on I was
My questions are
1 - my referal to social services was put in at the beginning of December 2022 & I haven’t heard anything yet. How long do you normally wait to hear something? I’m also 14 weeks now if that makes a difference.
2- will my midwife have been told anything? I.e what the socials plans are?
3- I’m worried that because I’m 14 weeks already & not heard anything that this is going too be dragged out till the last possible moment & because of this I don’t want too buy stuff incase they take the child as I’m then stuck with all the baby stuff as I won’t want too get rid of it, but if I don’t buy anything I don’t want them to say last minute that I can keep the child then I have to rush to buy stuff & it potentially not be here before the baby is born.
Anyone know what happens? Or the process of what happens & how long I’m going to be waiting? Id love for them to say they’re not getting involved but I know that’s not going to be the case, I just want to enjoy the pregnancy that I feel I’m being robbed of.
1st child under SGO & pregnant again - social services questions
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scaredandlonely19
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2022 9:11 am
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4996
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: 1st child under SGO & pregnant again - social services questions
Dear Scaredandlonely19
Welcome back to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post. I hope that your pregnancy is progressing well although I can see that it is worrying for you as you are waiting for your pre-birth assessment to start and feeling uncertain about what may happen. You are aware that children’s services will want to do a pre-birth assessment as your first child was placed with your mother under a Special Guardianship Order because of an unexplained injury. You have continued to have a relationship with your child whom you see every week which is positive. As stated in my previous response, the past history should not be relied upon as ‘proof’ of future harm although it must be considered; any assessment should also include an analysis of the current situation and changes that have taken place too.
Unfortunately, I cannot predict what will happen but I would encourage you to continue to attend all your ante-natal appointments and engage with children’s services and any other professionals when they begin to work with you.
I will try to answer your questions as best I can.
1) You are now 14 weeks pregnant and were referred to children’s services in December. They are required to make a decision about whether a pre-birth assessment is required within one working day and where it is decided that an assessment is needed it should start promptly. In addition, it should be completed at least 4 weeks before the baby is born. The purpose of the assessment is not just about identifying risk but also about ensuring that vulnerable parents receive the right help and support. It is important that the assessment is begun as soon as possible and that this is before 16 weeks where possible. In many local authorities the assessment begins at 14 weeks gestation.
As you have not yet been contacted by a social worker or given any information since the referral was made you may wish to be pro-active in contacting children’s services to enquire about this. The sooner the assessment begins the better so it is worthwhile chasing this up .
2) Your midwife will be involved in the pre-birth assessment and children’s services should have been provided them with feedback i.e. on the decision about the referral as (I think) they were the referrer. You could ask the midwife about this and if they haven’t had any update you could ask them to check too. The most important person in all of this, however, is you (and your unborn baby) so it is a good idea, from the very beginning, to ask the social worker to be open and transparent with you. These tips on working with a social worker may be helpful.
3) I understand your concern about delay and government guidance and case law recognise this too; please see here for more information.
I can see that you feel conflicted about preparing for the baby’s arrival and are anxious that the baby may be removed from your care. It is understandable that it is hard for you to plan. However, the assessment will explore your concerns and feelings towards your pregnancy and your unborn baby so do prepare for this.
You can find practical advice here for expectant parents who have had a previous child removed.
It is a good idea to involve family and friends early on to help identify how they can help you to care for the baby safely, or to identify who could care for the baby if you were unable to. A family group conference is worth considering to bring your support network together. Please see here for more details.
If you would like to talk about your situation with an adviser please call the freephone advice service on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, from 9.30 am to 3.00 pm. Please post back if you have any further queries when children’s services become involved.
Best wishes
Suzie
Welcome back to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post. I hope that your pregnancy is progressing well although I can see that it is worrying for you as you are waiting for your pre-birth assessment to start and feeling uncertain about what may happen. You are aware that children’s services will want to do a pre-birth assessment as your first child was placed with your mother under a Special Guardianship Order because of an unexplained injury. You have continued to have a relationship with your child whom you see every week which is positive. As stated in my previous response, the past history should not be relied upon as ‘proof’ of future harm although it must be considered; any assessment should also include an analysis of the current situation and changes that have taken place too.
Unfortunately, I cannot predict what will happen but I would encourage you to continue to attend all your ante-natal appointments and engage with children’s services and any other professionals when they begin to work with you.
I will try to answer your questions as best I can.
1) You are now 14 weeks pregnant and were referred to children’s services in December. They are required to make a decision about whether a pre-birth assessment is required within one working day and where it is decided that an assessment is needed it should start promptly. In addition, it should be completed at least 4 weeks before the baby is born. The purpose of the assessment is not just about identifying risk but also about ensuring that vulnerable parents receive the right help and support. It is important that the assessment is begun as soon as possible and that this is before 16 weeks where possible. In many local authorities the assessment begins at 14 weeks gestation.
As you have not yet been contacted by a social worker or given any information since the referral was made you may wish to be pro-active in contacting children’s services to enquire about this. The sooner the assessment begins the better so it is worthwhile chasing this up .
2) Your midwife will be involved in the pre-birth assessment and children’s services should have been provided them with feedback i.e. on the decision about the referral as (I think) they were the referrer. You could ask the midwife about this and if they haven’t had any update you could ask them to check too. The most important person in all of this, however, is you (and your unborn baby) so it is a good idea, from the very beginning, to ask the social worker to be open and transparent with you. These tips on working with a social worker may be helpful.
3) I understand your concern about delay and government guidance and case law recognise this too; please see here for more information.
I can see that you feel conflicted about preparing for the baby’s arrival and are anxious that the baby may be removed from your care. It is understandable that it is hard for you to plan. However, the assessment will explore your concerns and feelings towards your pregnancy and your unborn baby so do prepare for this.
You can find practical advice here for expectant parents who have had a previous child removed.
It is a good idea to involve family and friends early on to help identify how they can help you to care for the baby safely, or to identify who could care for the baby if you were unable to. A family group conference is worth considering to bring your support network together. Please see here for more details.
If you would like to talk about your situation with an adviser please call the freephone advice service on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, from 9.30 am to 3.00 pm. Please post back if you have any further queries when children’s services become involved.
Best wishes
Suzie
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