Accused of sexual communication

[ScaredDad]

Last month I had a knock at my door and was arrested for under suspicion of sexual communication with a child.

The police seized my phone, laptop and computer. I was interviewed over the course of a few hours and then released on conditional bail.

I firmly believe that I haven’t done what I’ve been accused of and I’m confident that the police won’t find anything on my devices at all.

Since then I’ve had social services involved as I have a child myself. I’m currently not allowed unsupervised contact with under 18s as my bail condition so I’m staying elsewhere. I’m gradually getting more contact, but SS really don’t seem to like me and have clearly already made their minds up that I’m guilty regardless of anything else.

The police have put a file to CPS but it was sent back for more info, and everything’s moved a lot faster than I was under the impression that it would. They haven’t even done a full forensic check on my phone so I don’t know how they can say I’ve sent these messages as I know they’re not on my phone.

I’m also in a predicament with work. I’ve been told no contact with under 18s “except in the course of everyday life”. I don’t work with children, and I don’t do anything that would leave me unsupervised with children, but there might be children around where I work. The police said that SS would need to approve it. SS have deferred it back to the police and they’ve apparently said I can’t work, but that’s second hand info and I’ve not had anything confirmed.

At the moment I can barely see my family and I’m faced with being out of work for something I’m sure I haven’t done. I don’t know if there’s any advice anyone can give, I’m just scared for the future and I don’t know what to do. It feels like everyone just wants me to say I’m guilty to make their lives easier but I can’t bring myself to plead guilty for something I haven’t done.

[KatKat10]

If you are not guilty of what you have been accused of, then your not guilty. When you get your devices back, trade them in for new ones incase they are bugged.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear ScaredDad,

Welcome to the parents' board and thank you for your post.

You say that last month you were arrested under suspicion of sexual communication with a child. The police have seized your devices, and you have been released on bail. You deny the accusations against you. You have a child and children's services are now involved. Your bail conditions state that you cannot have unsupervised contact with anyone under 18 and so you are currently staying elsewhere. You are having more contact with your child, but do not think children's services 'like you.' The investigation is still ongoing and you are waiting for a forensic check on your phone. You are also confused about whether you can continue to work as you have heard second-hand from the police that your bail conditions will not allow this. You feel worried and scared for the future.

Firstly, it is likely from what you say that children's services are still completing an assessment. At the moment, your contact with your child has to happen within the boundaries of your bail conditions. Children's services have recommended that supervised contact take place. If you would like more contact, or would like to be assessed for unsupervised contact (if your bail conditions allows for this) you may want to ask the social worker to do a separate risk assessment of you. You may find it helpful to contact Lucy Faithful on 01372 847160, an organisation which supports those who have offended online (although I acknowledge that you say you have not committed the offences you have been accused of). Lucy Faithful conduct specialist risk assessments and you can suggest that one be commissioned by the local authority, or consider paying for this yourself.

Alternatively, you may want to contact a family law solicitor in relation to making an application to the courts for a child arrangements order. This will put the matter of contact with your child in front of a judge, who will make a decision based on what they think is in your child's best interests. For more information on this, contact Child Law Advice 0300 330 5480.

Currently you are still under investigation and have not been charged with anything; this will of course mean a period of uncertainty for you. Whilst the police and CPS will consider the criminal aspect of your situation, children's services are concerned with the safety of your child. This means that even if you are not charged or convicted of a crime, they may still consider you to pose a risk and may still remain involved.

In relation to your job, I would suggest that you speak to your criminal solicitor about this and for the police to clarify the parameters of your bail conditions and how this applies to your job. You can get more advice from Unlock on 01634 247350.

I would also just like to mention in relation to a previous poster's post that the police are unlikely to 'bug' your devices without your knowledge in the circumstances you have described.

Best wishes,

Suzie.

[ScaredDad]

Update - the police have confirmed that there’s no issue with my working so I don’t know where social services got their info from.

They’re still not letting my wife supervise contact though. They’d initially said it was because she wasn’t taking the issue seriously (even though she’d written up a safety plan that SS didn’t even look at), then when she pushed them they changed and said it was because I was lying as I hadn’t admitted the offence and didn’t remember much of the interview. After some to-and-fro with my solicitor we’ve convinced SS that I haven’t been lying to them and I genuinely don’t remember all the details of a rather traumatic 3 hour long interview.

They’ve now said that they’ve had to refer to a senior manager as I stayed at home one night in Feb with my wife whilst our daughter stayed with her grandparents. They’ve taken this as my wife wanting to continue a normal relationship, despite me being there to go over case details, discuss our options etc and not wanting to rush over things with our daughter around.

It really feels like social services have got it in for me and don’t like the fact that I’ve said I haven’t done what the police have accused me of so they’re doing all they can to disrupt our lives.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Scared Dad

Thank you for your post. I am glad that you have had clarification about your working arrangements.

You explain that children’s service continue to be unwilling to allow your wife to supervise you when you see your daughter and they are worried that you stayed with your wife one night (while your child was cared for elsewhere) and what that might imply about your wife’s understanding of the concerns.

In my previous response, I suggested that you can contact the Lucy Faithfull Foundation and also ask children’s services to do a specialist risk assessment of you. Your wife may also benefit from getting in touch with their service as they provide advice and offer courses e.g. Inform to partners of people convicted of or suspected of having online sexual conversations with children. She can also ask children’s services to explain in more detail to her what their concerns are and what programme or support they recommend she should access to demonstrate that she can safely supervise. Your wife should also ask for feedback from the social worker following their discussion with the senior manager.

Children’s services are responsible for supporting and protecting children who are in need or are at risk of harm. When a parent is being investigated by police in relation to an alleged sexual offence relating to a child they must assess and ensure that the parent’s own child is safe and well. Their purpose is not to disrupt your lives but to make sure there is a robust safety plan in place for your child while the investigation is taking place. This is a stressful and uncertain time but it is important that both you and your wife continue to work with children’s services; the social worker will be completing their assessment and making recommendations about what they suggest needs to be in place.

If you have any further queries in relation to this please get in touch again, by posting on this forum or speaking with an adviser on our freephone advice line : 0808 801 0366, the lines are open from Mon to Fri (except bank holidays), from 9.30 am to 3.00 pm.

Best wishes

Suzie

[ScaredDad]

Another update - they still won’t let my wife supervise contact. Apparently it’s not because I’ve not told her everything, despite my solicitor confirming that there’s nothing I haven’t already brought up. SS are now saying they want the police to give my wife disclosure, despite the police already saying neither me nor my wife will get any more information unless it goes to court.

I still haven’t heard from the police, it’s now been a month since CPS referred back to them and I’m really starting to think their case isn’t as concrete as they told social services (which should be the case as I haven’t had the conversation they’ve said I have!). Unfortunately SS will always believe the police over me so I’m still stuck with 1 day a week contact when a family member can supervise.