Proposal to move to unsupervised contact

[MumBR]

Hi everyone, I am new on here and I was really pleased to find this resource which can provide some views and advice on difficult family situations. I split from my ex 4.5 years ago and we share an 8 year old daughter. The reason for the split was threats on both of our lives and serious domestic violence against me which was witnessed by my young daughter. An in depth fact fining exercise found completely in my favour given the strength of evidence and witnesses. Supervised contact in a centre engaged after our separation and hasn't moved forward from there given the father's behaviour. My daughter decided last year that she didn't wish for supervised in person contact anymore as he had said several hurtful things to her (this had been continuing since separation.) She still speaks to him on the phone twice a week as ordered which is supervised. She is reluctant to however I gently encourage her to maintain some level of contact. I have been back in litigation with my ex for over a year as he now wishes to have unsupervised contact and accuses me of alienating him from his daughter. At the same time he remains occasionally unkind to her and with holds gifts because she is not willing to see him in person. His psychological profile reveals narcissiatic and paranoid personality traits and he takes every opportunity to lie about me to contact supervisors and assessors involved in the case (even contradicting himself from previous proceedings.) I am confident that no evidence of alienating behaviour will be found although I have firm evidence of attempted alienation by him, but I remain concerned that my daughter will be forced into unsupervised contact against her will. I am also concerned that it is possible that CAFCASS could assume alienation without evidence. Can anyone provide me any insight on what may occur in such a situation, or any advice?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear MumBR

Welcome to Family Rights Group’s parents’ forum and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am an online adviser.

I am very sorry to hear of the domestic abuse that you and your daughter suffered and to hear that your daughter’s father has been unkind and said hurtful things to her. You have been through protracted private law proceedings which led to supervised contact between your daughter and her father. You are back in court again as your daughter no longer wishes to have supervised contact and her father is pushing for unsupervised contact. He is alleging that you are alienating your daughter from him. I can understand how distressing this whole situation is for you.

Unfortunately, this is not an area that we are able to advice on as it comes under private law which is outside our remit; we advise families where there is a social worker from children’s services involved with their child.

You don’t say whether you have a solicitor representing you in the case or whether you are representing yourself. If you are representing yourself then I hope you will be able to get advice/assistance or information from the following organisations:

CAFCASS guidance on domestic abuse
CAFCASS guidance on alienating behaviours
Rights of Women
Child Law Advice
Advocate
Transparency Project
Advice Now
The Law Society: find a solicitor
Domestic abuse services

I hope this helps.

Best wishes

Suzie

[MumBR]

Many thanks Suzie.