Children put on protection plan

[Coffeegirl1994]

Hi,

My children have been placed on CPP. This is due to an argument me and hubby had that escalated and police were called. It was a stand alone one. We have never had one before and have no idea what happened.

We have a history in 2017 when I was pregnant with our first. It was a rough year with lots of emotional physical financial abuse. We parted ways after 12 months and my daughter was 2 months. We had no contact for 2 years then had a reconciliation and had a lot of community and religious support. After we got back together this was the first argument. We got together again in 2019. Social services came around because of concerns that I had got back together with my husband. The investigation was closed as they saw that we were fine and daughter was doing good.

Now the police referred us (understandable) to SS. The social worker that came was a completely biased person. She came to tell me that my children will be taken off me if I didn't leave my husband and she was putting them on PP. She wanted me to say that yes I am a victim and the stereotypical DV victim, when I explained to her no this wasn't the case she would cut me off and not listen to me. Eventually I made her listen.

Nevertheless she did all she could to take it to child protection and slandered me to the school, health visitors. They all copied her in her recommendations at conferences and unanimously agreed that there was risk of emotionL harm. Despite my husband and I both having approached school prior to this incident asking for help with our eldest's needs ( sen kid), agreeing to do all they asked, courses, safety plans etc. They still decided to put them on the plan instead of the child in need.

I felt really disappointed and let down from all the professionals especially all those that were on my side and then the social worker turned them all against me by making it out that i am minimising abuse or later that I am disguised compliance. Can't seem to win either way.

Due to the argument my husband was taken into custody and released on bail to my mothers address. My daughter ( reality and make belief can't be distinguished ) keeps saying at school that dad is at home looking after baby brother ( this is not the case) she also thinks one of her teacher is dying and a penguin lives in her class.

However I am just worried now that because they have now got the kids on a plan, if my daughter keeps making remarks like that ( I can't stop her tongue or control what she says) , my social worker is going to use it against me and just take my kids anyway. Is that something that can happen despite a plan in place which we are proactively following.

Also my husband was not allowed at the conference due to bail and my SW saying that he didn't want to be there. But my mum has confirmed that the social worker has not spoken to him regarding the conference at all.

So confused.

also my daughter is 6 and very very attached to me. In an unhealthy way with no boundaries which i explained is to everyone is what's hard and overwhelming for me and that's the support we were after. The chair was very positive and they drew up a plan to include all the support i will be having with my daughter. The plan was made for the family on the basis that dad will be returning to family home. There is a review in 3 months. There was lots of positive stuff said about my home kids and how the relationship is seen for both me and my husband towards our kids. How they are clean have age appropriate toys and a great bond with us. They accepted that we have had help and support from our community but wanted to reinforce it with professional help too. So courses etc which both me and my husband have proactively already looked into and registered ( my health visitor helped me). They checked my 10 month old development and reported that he was doing amazing for his age and no other concerns etc. Both of us have been asking for the support a long time anyway and now it will be esclated and we will have social worker, school nurse, family support help us which might take the weight of my shoulders a bit too. They also praised us for our honesty within the meeting.

[Coffeegirl1994]

Any help

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Coffeegirl1994

Welcome to Family Rights Group’s parents’ discussion forum.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group. I see from your post that you are feeling confused and upset by your current situation. Your children have been placed on a child protection plan following an initial child protection conference.

You believe the social worker has been unfair to you and your husband. In your post you state that there was only a single argument between you and your husband, and it seems you think that because it was this single incident the outcome is unfair.

I think it is important for you to understand that the social worker’s role is to ensure that children are safe in their living environment. It was a single argument, but it was necessary for the police to become involved and to the extent that your husband was arrested. His bail conditions do not allow him to return to the family home which suggests serious concerns.

Neither you nor your husband understand what led to the argument. This may well be a matter of concern for the professionals involved that neither of you are able to explain what led to the argument. If your children were in the home it must have been difficult for them and it is the seeing and hearing of argument that impacts children’s emotional health. In fact, it is established by research that children do not have to see are argument or domestic abuse to be affected.

From reading your post, it appears that the concerns that the social worker may have relate not only to the argument. You accept the police were right to refer the case to children’s services. There are other issues which are of concern and for which support can be provided but it was considered that a child in need plan may not be enough since it is voluntary.

There are historical issues, your daughter’s needs and what you describe as an unhealthy attachment to you which will be concern. Children’s services became involved when you resumed your relationship with your husband but did not continue with a case. The situation is different now and you mention an accusation of minimising domestic abuse and that you are not a typical victim of domestic violence. Children’s services become very concerned if they consider that there is domestic violence in the home which is not recognised or the impact on children understood fully.

The good things that are happening in your family have been recognised and noted. This is what an initial child protection conference does. It looks at what is going well, those things are not going well, how the situation can be improved and, considering all the evidence professionals decide which plan would best meet the needs of the children.

If you believe the social worker provided factually incorrect information in her report, then you can bring these to the attention of the chair or the social worker’s team manager and ask for the correct information to be noted.

The important thing now is for you and your husband to work together with children’s services and the child protection plan to get the best outcome for your family. I suggest you engage with a domestic violence service and your husband should do the same so you can both gain better understanding and change behaviours. You say you have already registered. with services with the help of your health visitor. I suggest you follow up on these.

To reassure you, the purpose of a child protection plan is not to remove children fro their families but to help the family to safely care for them. This is why it is important to adhere to the plan and what is asked of you so you will be seen as being protective of your children and understanding their needs which should be above your needs.

I have included a couple of links to our website which I think you may find useful. Child protection , guide to working with social workers and information for mothers when domestic abuse is a concern.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser, you can telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday (except Bank Holidays)

I hope this is helpful

Best wishes

Suzie