New Assesment

[Princessleia]

Hi

Last year I left my ex partner due to domestic abuse. He was arrested but I withdrew my statement mostly due to the little support I was receiving at the time. SS had been involved and closed the case as were happy I had done what I could to safeguard the kids. My ex started seeing the kids again towards the end of year supervised by myself as I had no one else to help. I put together a safety plan in case of a situation and had strict boundaries in place.

Early this year I has a call from SS as they received a report regarding my ex's contact with the kids and whether they were safe. The social worker did his usual checks and spoke to the boys at school. The social worker said he was happy for me to supervise contact and he was going to close the case as it seemed to be going well.

I then got a call a few weeks ago to state unfortunately the case was remaining open and escalating to a section 47 due to yet another referral coming in. I believe both referrals to be malicious and from a family member who has recently been creating anon social media accounts to troll my ex publicly.

The social worker has said he was genuinely happy with the contact and felt the risk to the boys was low however he now has to insist we have a 3rd party to facilitate contact which we just don't have. There is also the issue of time. I work full time with the youngest in nursery till 5.30 each day. Evenings and weekends are spent at rugby training or matches. As part of contact my ex would come to training and the matches which my sons wanted. I'm struggling to see how we can make this work. My youngest is very attached to my ex and struggled massively before and has only just settled down again.

Another thing the social worker said today is that my ex needs to take this to court but I'm unsure why. I do not oppose contact, I'm willing for him to see the boys just as long as he isn't alone with them. I don't quite get why we need to take it to court? My ex is also happy with this. He isn't pushing for unsupervised as he appreciates he is lucky to see them

It just seems all bizarre considering they were going to close the case. They literally said they were happy with the contact. There have been no incidents since we separated and we have both sought help from various organisations. Things are better now than they were previously

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Princessleia
Thank you for your further post. I am sorry that due to a referral being made to children’s services about your former partner, your children’s father, a decision has been made to carry out s.47 child protection enquiries in respect of your children.

Children’s services would normally decide on this after considering the referral and having a meeting with other professional – strategy meeting which decides whether the safeguarding concerns are such that a s47 investigation should be carried out. You do not mention in your post what the referral alleged as a safeguarding concern.

If the social worker was satisfied that there were no concerns with the way contact was progressing, then it appear a significant concern must have been brought to their attention. The investigation is likely to out whether the referral was a malicious one, but they have a duty to follow up, on referrals they receive.

I am not clear why the social worker would suggest that your children’s father apply to the court if there are no issues between you relating to contact. It may be helpful if you write to the social worker explaining the contact arrangements including the fact that contact happens outside the home at training and matches so there is a form of supervision contact being in a public setting. Ask the social worker to explain the concerns about contact and the safeguarding concerns for your sons. You can also remind the social worker that there is no dispute between you and your ex-partner and there is a no order principle which the court considers when deciding if an order is necessary. Also, as both you and your ex-partner have received help from organisations ask the social worker what further is expected from you and him.

There may be a concern about you and your ex-partner reconciling which could be a cause for concern from the safeguarding point for your children. The worry could be in relation to the issues that led you and him to separate. Please read the information for mothers HERE relating to domestic abuse.

Here is a link to information relating to child protection on our website.

Should you wish, you can speak to an adviser by telephoning our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366, The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday (except Bank Holidays)

Hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Princessleia]

Hi Suzy

Thank you very much for your reply. The social worker wasn't very clear as to what the new concern is. My ex does voluntary work and they said this is a concern as they want to know his motives behind it. His voluntary work does not involve direct work with children or vulnerable adults. He has been doing this work for many years but children's services thought this was a new thing. They have told me exactly who made the referral to them which I was surprised at as didn't think they could. This referral was made less than 24 hours after I told this person I wouldn't be having anymore involvement with them.

I have tried to contact my social worker to clarify a few things. She told me to stop contact but then said if it was supervised by a third party then that was fine. As I mentioned she is also advising my ex to take me to court. Today I emailed her to let her know a friend would supervise contact tomorrow and to check that was still OK but I got a response to say he has now left the local authority. I have called childrens services and they said the manager would call me but she hasn't. I feel really lost and not sure what to do. I have also today recieved a court notification from my ex.

It just feels very unfair. I don't know how I can be expected to work with someone who doesn't respond. I know from speaking to our mutual friend that my ex is having the same issue and has had no response from the social worker.

I don't want to be a nuisance to them but I'm so scared of doing something they view as wrong

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Princess Leia

Thank you for your further post. I can understand why you are feeling confused and that the current situation is difficult for you.

As you say that you have now received a court notification from your ex-partner I am guessing this means that he has made a court application for a Child Arrangements Order, possibly on the advice of the social worker? You can find out more about this and get specific legal advice from Rights of Women or Child Law Advice.

Unfortunately, only children’s services can provide clarity about the situation as they are leading the section 47 investigation and will be making a recommendation once it is completed. It must be very frustrating awaiting a response from either a social worker or the team manager. I would suggest that if you have not heard back from either then you chase this up, by phone and by email asking for an urgent response. If there is another professional involved who you have a good working relationship with e.g. someone from your child’s school or nursery, you could also ask them to chase up a clarifying response.

If children’s services do not update you and clarify matters then you may need to consider making a complaint.

Trying to get feedback about your children’s case and being clear about what children’s services’ recommendations for you are is not being a nuisance, it is being a responsible parent, so please do not worry about asking questions and asking to be updated.

I hope this helps.

Please do not hesitate to post again if you have a further query or call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm (except bank holidays).

Best wishes

Suzie