Advice kindly Appreciated

[Butterfly85]

Hello Everyone. Im hoping that some of you may be able to offer some advice please.

To cut a long story short - My partner has serious Mental Health Issues and Drugs Mis - use. Due to loosing our baby 2 years ago he relapsed and our relationship changed quite quickly due to this. I have 2 children and he has 2 children, all boys aged 11,13,15,18. My partner lived with me and my children, social services became involved when the hospital had notified them that my partner had overdosed and they believed children to be in the property. This is when my life changed and social came in like a ton of bricks. My partner has a past and he has served time for the crimes that he comitted. But his past has always been used against him. No excuses i know before people ask why i stayed with a man that relapsed and has poor mental health. Social became involved - my partner didnt engage as he has serious issues with working with professionals due to suffering abuse from powers when he was a child so this is a trigger for him.
Due to his drug use i suffered some sort of emotional Abuse and Financial Abuse (after freedom programme i then realised that some of his actions would be abuse) - My partner was made homeless as Social said he was not allowed in the home or they would seek legal to take my children. Due to his issues he turned to petty crimes and sofa surfing and being in and out of prison over the last 2 years. We was placed on PLO last year due to allegations of domestic abuse and that he was a risk to my children. At first review we was taken off and placed on CP - Again 1st review was taken off and de escalated to CIN. My partner was in prison so the risk were greatly reduced but as soon as his release was pending they was straight on my case. I went without a social worker for around 2 months was then allocated a new social worker who was useless - He met me and my children once and due to my at that point ex partner calling me from prison the escalated straight to CP - At this point the partner was released from prison and was at large and wanted for recall but the chair put it back down to CIN in June this year again at first review - under the duress that i allowed no contact or overnight stays at the property from my partner and that i stopped all communication with him. Bearing in mind they stated there was safeguarding concerns, they were happy to leave me be and have no communication what so ever. Stated this man was dangerous and at large. This is where i am at today.
In june 23 we was taken off CP after 3 months and placed on CIN - Which requirement of SW was to ensure a robust CIN plan was in place to work with me at my resillience of not re forming a relationship with my ex partner. To not allow any over night stays at the home and to stop all communication. Our first cin meeting was the 6th july held by a duty worker. No comms or visits from SW - My ex partner is recalled to prison on the 8th July due to not providing a address for probation - Bearing in mind he is pretty much homeless. On the morning of the 8th i was called by my ex mother in law and my step son was critcally ill in hospital with sepsis and she asked if i could take her and my ex to the hospital bearing in mind i had not spoken to the ex parnter for the best part of 3/4 months after stopping all contact as was scare mongered by SW to cease contact or we will take your kids - Of course i said yes. While we was driving there we was pulled by police and he was arrested. He is now in prison. Last week i had recieved 3 visits in a row from duty social workers who didnt even present a badge to my children who were at home while i was at work - I contacted Social Worker Manager who said new concerns had been raised. I had made a compaint about no comms since the 13th June ( I am right that this is unacceptable?) In which i was then hit with theres concerns blah blah - So i asked for these to be put in writing to which they stated we recieved notification that partner was arrested and was in a vehicle with you and now they are again calling for a CP Strategy to look at placing us back on CP. This is absolutely crazy they didnt even contact bearing in mind its been over a month since that concern would have arose, and i have had no contact or comms with him in months. And i feel like this will be a forever around and around circle i just dont know what to do any more. The social worker has admitted that they fractured there relationship with my children as we have had 5 social workers in 12 months and it has disrupted there lives.

Has anyone won a complaint against SS?
Has anyone reformed a rship with an ex and SS worked with you as a family like they promote they do?
I am on CP for the 3rd time what will happen next?

[Curlyone]

Hi,
Didn't want to read and run so thought to say a few words to try and help/advise
I'm not sure what Will happen next if you are on CP for a 3rd time, could be just that CP or they could decide to go straight for legal, mother and law and ex partner could have called a taxi/uber/friend/another family member - I don't understand why they would need to call you for a lift? By you driving them to hospital you've gone against what you agreed to, so they may see it as they can't work with you etc.
In terms of no contact, I'm not sure if that will stick, and I'm not sure what contact you expected?
SS do aim to keep families together, if deemed safe, but it sounds like from your partners past offences (were they violent?) and his attitude/behaviour over the past few years they have decided that he's dangerous end of.
My advice would be, stay away from him/family and let him fix himself, this may take many years, and if he does make positive changes then ask SS to risk assess with the view to move him back into the family home.
It could be that by the time he does all this, your youngest is 18 then it doesn't matter really as all are adults.
Good luck either way x

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hello Everyone. Im hoping that some of you may be able to offer some advice please.

To cut a long story short - My partner has serious Mental Health Issues and Drugs Mis - use. Due to loosing our baby 2 years ago he relapsed and our relationship changed quite quickly due to this. I have 2 children and he has 2 children, all boys aged 11,13,15,18. My partner lived with me and my children, social services became involved when the hospital had notified them that my partner had overdosed and they believed children to be in the property. This is when my life changed and social came in like a ton of bricks. My partner has a past and he has served time for the crimes that he comitted. But his past has always been used against him. No excuses i know before people ask why i stayed with a man that relapsed and has poor mental health. Social became involved - my partner didnt engage as he has serious issues with working with professionals due to suffering abuse from powers when he was a child so this is a trigger for him.
Due to his drug use i suffered some sort of emotional Abuse and Financial Abuse (after freedom programme i then realised that some of his actions would be abuse) - My partner was made homeless as Social said he was not allowed in the home or they would seek legal to take my children. Due to his issues he turned to petty crimes and sofa surfing and being in and out of prison over the last 2 years. We was placed on PLO last year due to allegations of domestic abuse and that he was a risk to my children. At first review we was taken off and placed on CP - Again 1st review was taken off and de escalated to CIN. My partner was in prison so the risk were greatly reduced but as soon as his release was pending they was straight on my case. I went without a social worker for around 2 months was then allocated a new social worker who was useless - He met me and my children once and due to my at that point ex partner calling me from prison the escalated straight to CP - At this point the partner was released from prison and was at large and wanted for recall but the chair put it back down to CIN in June this year again at first review - under the duress that i allowed no contact or overnight stays at the property from my partner and that i stopped all communication with him. Bearing in mind they stated there was safeguarding concerns, they were happy to leave me be and have no communication what so ever. Stated this man was dangerous and at large. This is where i am at today.
In june 23 we was taken off CP after 3 months and placed on CIN - Which requirement of SW was to ensure a robust CIN plan was in place to work with me at my resillience of not re forming a relationship with my ex partner. To not allow any over night stays at the home and to stop all communication. Our first cin meeting was the 6th july held by a duty worker. No comms or visits from SW - My ex partner is recalled to prison on the 8th July due to not providing a address for probation - Bearing in mind he is pretty much homeless. On the morning of the 8th i was called by my ex mother in law and my step son was critcally ill in hospital with sepsis and she asked if i could take her and my ex to the hospital bearing in mind i had not spoken to the ex parnter for the best part of 3/4 months after stopping all contact as was scare mongered by SW to cease contact or we will take your kids - Of course i said yes. While we was driving there we was pulled by police and he was arrested. He is now in prison. Last week i had recieved 3 visits in a row from duty social workers who didnt even present a badge to my children who were at home while i was at work - I contacted Social Worker Manager who said new concerns had been raised. I had made a compaint about no comms since the 13th June ( I am right that this is unacceptable?) In which i was then hit with theres concerns blah blah - So i asked for these to be put in writing to which they stated we recieved notification that partner was arrested and was in a vehicle with you and now they are again calling for a CP Strategy to look at placing us back on CP. This is absolutely crazy they didnt even contact bearing in mind its been over a month since that concern would have arose, and i have had no contact or comms with him in months. And i feel like this will be a forever around and around circle i just dont know what to do any more. The social worker has admitted that they fractured there relationship with my children as we have had 5 social workers in 12 months and it has disrupted there lives.

Has anyone won a complaint against SS?
Has anyone reformed a rship with an ex and SS worked with you as a family like they promote they do?
I am on CP for the 3rd time what will happen next?

Dear Butterfly85,

Thankyou for your post. I am very sorry to hear about all the difficulties that you have been through, especially the loss of your baby 2 years ago. I can see that you have had some advice from Curlyone and I hope that the following information is of some help too.

Your children have been on and off child protection plans and child in need plans for several years and were under the PLO process at one point too. It sounds like there has been a lot of instability as there have been many different social workers assigned to work with your family and you feel let down by children’s services. You have been told that a strategy meeting is being held to decide whether another child protection conference should be held.

I cannot give you a black and white answer about what will happen next in terms of the child protection process. Each family’s situation is looked at individually and children’s services have a duty to act under child protection procedures if they feel that the children are at risk of significant harm. If children’s services feel that the risk remains too high under the child protection plan then they can escalate their concerns to the pre proceedings process or to the family court. I would advise that you work as best as you can with the social worker and other professionals involved so that you have the best chance of avoiding these escalations. We have a top tips guide to working with a social worker which you might find helpful HERE.

You ask if anyone has ever had success with complaining against children’s services. It is certainly the case that some people who make complaints against children’s services have their complaints upheld and apologies and/or compensation is given. If you would like to make a complaint against children’s services then we have information and advice on our website about this HERE. If you do decide to make a complaint then I would advise that you make sure that you are very clear about what exactly you are complaining about, and that you keep it short and to the point (for example receiving no support from 13th June until early August even though it was stated that a ‘robust’ CIN plan should be in place). The Local Government Ombudsman website has some useful advice about making complaints which you can find HERE.

I hope that this is of some help. Please post again if you have any further queries or you can call our free, confidential adviceline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm). We also have a webchat which is currently open on Monday and Wednesday afternoons.

Best wishes,
Suzie