Advice please? Hoping for positive assessment

[JulyBabyComing]

In 2017 I was in a domestically abusive relationship, I had a baby boy and very little girl. In August 2017 my baby boy died at 3 months old when in the sole care of his dad. I leant the day the he died that he also had four fractured ribs and my daughter (who had a different dad who she did not see at the time) was taken in foster care.
A few months later I fell pregnant again with someone else, and in August 2018 had another son.
It was in October 2017 that I left my perpetrator and began the Freedom Programme.

In October 2018 my daughter was given full-time to her dad, under a child’s arrangement order. It was my fault that my daughter didn’t see her dad as I had blocked him on social media and relied on my abusive partner to be the means of contact, which was a big mistake on my part. When my daughters dad was contacted he was there for her. I was also left in a pool of perpetrators regarding the rib fractures and the domestically abusive relationship was obviously an issue too.

In February 2019 the inquest into my baby boys death was had, and the Coroner found that he most likely died due to suffocation after his dad had left him. While this is neglect. the police couldn’t press charges against my sons dad as the Coroners verdict was the most likely case but not beyond reasonable doubt.

Then in May 2019, my youngest baby was given to my parents under a special guardianship. I was distraught beyond words.

By June 2019 I was seeing both of my children unsupervised. However, with my daughter this only lasted a month as she got a cat scratch on her hand from my parents cat when we were visiting that I forgot to mention at hand over but did explain later over text, and so her dad stopped unsupervised. Supervised contact on weekends resumed.

Unsupervised contact with my son continued and on his first birthday in August he had his first overnight stay. I then started my undergrad degree in September 2019 and by the first lockdown in 2020 my son was staying over at my house half of the week and at my parents house (his guardians) the other half of the week. This has continued and is still the case now, with the addition of my son staying over my house every night during school holidays (this started after my mam broke her arm one summer and so he stayed at my house the whole summer holidays, and it just continued as a school-holiday thing from there). We’re a close family and live close to each other, so I am often visiting with my son or to see him too.

In June 2022 I entered into my first relationship since the domestically abusive one. We’ve been close friends for 12 years and he’s the warmest soul, the kids adore him too. We’ve since bought a house together.

In April 2023 I began seeing my daughter unsupervised and myself and her dad get along well now, and message directly about her. We now have a shared-care arrangement (while he still has the child arrangement order) where she stays with me for 3 nights a week and with him for 4 nights a week. In June 2023 I got a diagnosis of PTSD, I’d had suspicions of PTSD since my son died but it took me a long time to find the courage to talk to a GP.

Myself and my partner have found out we’re pregnant (a planned pregnancy) and I have already contacted the local authority to let them know about the baby and the current arrangements with my children, and they have said they’ll be in touch. I’m only 3 weeks pregnant at the time of writing this.

So I guess, to summarise;
My daughter was removed when she was 16 months old - I now have her unsupervised half of the week. She is now 7.
My son was removed at birth - I now have him unsupervised half of the week. He is now 5.
Issues were pool of perps, domestic abuse and my daughter not seeing her dad - I’ll never know what happened to my late son & now see my children unsupervised, my daughter sees her dad and our parenting relationship is good and I’m now in a happy, healthy relationship and feel the happiest and safest I ever have.
I’m 3 weeks pregnant and obviously want to have my family together in our home.

I was wondering if anyone could help advise on what to expect? I really hope they contact us and asses us soon and that they’re happy with how everything is.

[JulyBabyComing]

I rang the local authority to check them got my email ok and they said they had received it, they could see all the information was there and that they’d be in touch. I’m really hoping it’ll all be ok, it’s been 6 years and my circumstances are so different now, and I’ve had positive parenting assessments in the past - the issue was always circumstances.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear JulyBabyComing

Thank you for sharing your story with us and welcome to the Board.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. From what you have written about your ‘parenting journey’ you have been through many changes over the last few years, some joyful and some very painful. However, you seem to be in a ‘strong’ and ‘safe’ place now, as you await the arrival of your child.

You have said that you have made contact with your local authority and they will contact you at a future date. In the meantime, please see our webpages for parents to be, you will find some information in these pages about assessments too.

I hope you will find them useful.

Best wishes
Suzie

[JulyBabyComing]

Social workers been in touch today to say we’re gonna have a pre-birth assessment

[JulyBabyComing]

We’re meeting our pre-birth assessment social worker next week (I’ll be 5 weeks pregnant at that point)

Also a different social worker is going out to speak with my daughters dad (who has a child arrangements order) and my mam (who has gaurdianship) to get the updated information around my time with my daughter and son - as the last they had on their system was that I was supervised but I am not anymore. The social worker I spoke to says it’ll just be a quick assessment to update their systems and to draw a line under it.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear JulyBabyComing,

Thank you for your post. I have responded on your most recent thread.

Best wishes,

Suzie.