Past criminal record and SS

[Anxiousandscared]

Struggling so much at the moment, nothing makes any sense.

I did a Clare’s Law disclosure following my partners alcoholic son saying my partner had been in prison. I had no concerns of my own with me or my children. I have known my partner for 6 years together for 5 and a half and we have a daughter together.

Police disclosed an accusation from 2000 of sexual harassment and also a prison sentence for hitting a child - this was on a previous partners child.

When I asked my partner about it he left the family home to give space to process the information and to talk about it. He denies ever hitting his exs child and says he was set up by her so she could have the house and money.

Then social services got involved. It has all gone down hill from there. The initial phone call did not say their involvement was voluntary and I was told that they would be seeing the children and contacting schools/nurseries. All of which I might add have raised no concerns.

I told my oldest daughter SS wanted to talk to her as an allegation had been made against my partner for him being a Paedophile and that the accusation was made by her step brother, my partners son.

What happened next tore my heart out of my chest. She said that’s rich coming from him (step brother) and now we are undergoing a rape case.

SS have been contacted again by the police and have wrapped both cases into one under a s47.

The SW involved has intimated that my partner needs supervised access to the children which isn’t a big deal anyway as I have always been there with the kids due to his work hours and we always do things together as a family.

The SW at no point said my partner couldn’t move back in, which he has done as he was sleeping in his car. His support has also been fantastic over the rape of my daughter and I have no concerns over my or my children’s safety.

The communication by the social worker is appalling. She has no empathy, has made no effort to understand our circumstances and at this very difficult time she’s not communicating effectively.

I raised concerns about her disclosing information to my ex husband due to his violent temper. She promised to inform me when she contacted him but failed to do so. She threw the hand grenade into the room then walked away for a nice bank holiday weekend while I’m left trying to sort out the mess she has left. , she told my ex my children are not safe at the house and that she cannot disclose anything else.she asked my ex if he had concerns and he said no. She also left him feeling very confused about supervised visits and who was to supervise! Communication once again at its best.

If she has concerns to that degree then why have I not been informed? It’s all very confusing and I feel like she is trying to break us all from within the family.

Luckily my ex and I are on good terms and we have a good working relationship for the kids.

So, yes my partner has a past, has anybody raised any new concerns no. He is a very good dad and very good partner but is he going to be made to pay for his past forever? He is convinced they are trying to take his daughter off of him.

I have made a formal complaint against the SW as I don’t feel as a family we can work with her and the children don’t like her.

At a time when I need to be helping my eldest daughter through her trauma I am constantly fighting fires that SS create.

I am so stressed and anxious and all I want to do is provide a safe, secure and happy environment for my family and to work through the rape case together.

Can they take my children away because my partner is back at the house? Why haven’t they told me my children aren’t safe? Can anybody make any sense of this?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Anxiousandscared

Thank you for your post and welcome to the Parents Forum.

I am sorry to read about your family’s situation and that you have not been given a clear ‘picture’ of how to proceed with the involvement of children’s services in your family life.

You have said that there is a section 47 inquiry about the harm your daughter has experienced as well as questions raised about your partner’s history.

Working Together to Safeguard Children 2023 outlines the 'inquiry/investigation process', see the charts on pages 103, 104 and 105.

It is not clear from what you have written whether the investigation has concluded though you have said that the social worker asked whether they could speak with other professionals involved with your family.

Your main question asks whether the local authority might suggest that your children should be removed from your care because your partner has moved back to the family home. May I suggest you let the social worker know that this is the case and ask that they draft a written agreement / a safety plan (of some description) that your family can adhere to.

Here is link to our webpages about child protection.

Here too is the help page for the Rape and Sexual Abuse support line.

If you would like to speak in confidence with one of our advisers, our advice line is open 9.30am to 3.00pm, Monday to Friday (excluding Bank Holidays) on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Starwars90]

Sorry to hear of the nightmare you are going through . I would prepare for a long slow ride through hell and back , and hope for the best.

Find someone you can talk to on a regular basis for emotional support. You will need it and it will help you keep your sanity.

I just wanted to post that you are not alone in this kind of experience with children’s services. It is very commonplace. They are fiercely irrational, totally unsympathetic and aggressive.

[Loopylou1972]

I’m starting the process of section 47 there is a child protection conference on Wednesday I feel ill I’m scared to death. My son is 16 (17) next weekend my partner had a violent record from 8 year ago he did a short period of time when he made threats to his ex after she cheated on him. ( he’s not proud of this). This is a horrible process whilst safeguarding my son who misses him terribly I still love my partner and want him home ( we’ve had to cancel our wedding).
I’m so sad seeing someone else go through this and I’m so sorry for your daughter as a young woman to be being put through all she is. Just wanted to let you know your not alone.