Good Morning
My Sons father had threatened me a few weeks ago with court and child services and last Wednesday I received a phone call from them saying he's made a referral stating that I'd stopped our son from seeing him because we've booked to go out for a day at Chessington and we're forcing him to go (completely untrue, it was our sons decision to come along as its booked for my other child's birthday and if my eldest didn't want to go we'd have invited a friend instead)
My ex has told them I'm being manipulative and I'm sure a few other things.
Anyway, so I get this call from a lovely lady who tells me about the referral and and asks me a few questions, says she's spoken to our sons school and they're happy with no concerns for his well being with me (Mum) and stepdad, and now after speaking to me she says it's parents dispute and she's closing the case.
The following day, I received a phone call from our sons schools safeguarding team. Another lovely lady who've I've spoken with before due the the threats etc from my ex, and she explained to me that after the child service called me the day before, she'd called my ex to say she was closing the case and then immediately called the school back to say that my ex had shown his true colours and they're aware of the type of man he is. She said that safeguarding had spent some time with our son who has confirmed that he doesn't want to see his father every week, he wants to live with us not his dad, he feels happy and safe at home and that if he doesn't go to see his dad, he and I get threatened with court. The school and children's services now want to help both of us and have said they want to help us get control back if our lives.
My ex isn't a nice man and it seems he'll do anything to disrupt our lives and it's been over 10 years since we broke up.
What will happen if he keeps repeatedly making referrals against me? I don't want to worry everytime my phone goes starts ringing
If you've read this far thank you
Childs father called childrens services
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4996
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Childs father called childrens services
Dear Superkitten
Thank you for your further post.
I am sorry to hear that you are continuing to experience difficulties. These relate to your son’s father’s behaviour towards you which you explain include threats to take you to court and more recently a referral to children’s services expressing concerns about you. I understand that this is both stressful and worrying for you.
In relation to the private law matters i.e. the threats by your son’s father to take you to court for contact with your son, please see the advice given and services recommended in my first response to you. I would suggest that you contact one of the services listed for specific advice. Child Law Advice have an email enquiry form here that you can use if you want to set out specific questions about mediation, Child Arrangements Orders, or any other private law orders.
Your son’s father contacted children’s services as he threatened to do. However, having checked with your son’s school and spoken to you they concluded that there are no concerns for your son’s welfare and decided that this was a parental dispute i.e. a matter that can be addressed through private law routes. Your son’s school have spoken to him and are aware of his views about contact with his father. I would suggest that you ask children’s services to provide you with a written record of the work they have done. You could also ask the school to provide a written summary too. These may be helpful to you if your son’s father does make a court application.
You are worried that your son’s father may make further referrals to children’s services. It is possible that he may do so. However, children’s services would only become involved if there was good reason too. They will refer to the recent referral and outcome.
If your son’s father engages in a pattern of intentionally making referrals about you that are false, you can contact the police. They can investigate if they believe that there is a pattern of harassment.
You could also inform children’s services if you believe that you are being targeted in this way. They may still need to assess as they cannot assume whether information received is true or not, but they would bear in mind the history.
If you would like some emotional support to help you manage the current stressful situation you can talk to a service such as Family Line or Family Lives who are able to listen and understand how these situations can impact on parents.
I hope this helps.
If you have any further queries about children’s services, please post back or contact the advice service via one of the options linked to here.
Best wishes
Suzie
Thank you for your further post.
I am sorry to hear that you are continuing to experience difficulties. These relate to your son’s father’s behaviour towards you which you explain include threats to take you to court and more recently a referral to children’s services expressing concerns about you. I understand that this is both stressful and worrying for you.
In relation to the private law matters i.e. the threats by your son’s father to take you to court for contact with your son, please see the advice given and services recommended in my first response to you. I would suggest that you contact one of the services listed for specific advice. Child Law Advice have an email enquiry form here that you can use if you want to set out specific questions about mediation, Child Arrangements Orders, or any other private law orders.
Your son’s father contacted children’s services as he threatened to do. However, having checked with your son’s school and spoken to you they concluded that there are no concerns for your son’s welfare and decided that this was a parental dispute i.e. a matter that can be addressed through private law routes. Your son’s school have spoken to him and are aware of his views about contact with his father. I would suggest that you ask children’s services to provide you with a written record of the work they have done. You could also ask the school to provide a written summary too. These may be helpful to you if your son’s father does make a court application.
You are worried that your son’s father may make further referrals to children’s services. It is possible that he may do so. However, children’s services would only become involved if there was good reason too. They will refer to the recent referral and outcome.
If your son’s father engages in a pattern of intentionally making referrals about you that are false, you can contact the police. They can investigate if they believe that there is a pattern of harassment.
You could also inform children’s services if you believe that you are being targeted in this way. They may still need to assess as they cannot assume whether information received is true or not, but they would bear in mind the history.
If you would like some emotional support to help you manage the current stressful situation you can talk to a service such as Family Line or Family Lives who are able to listen and understand how these situations can impact on parents.
I hope this helps.
If you have any further queries about children’s services, please post back or contact the advice service via one of the options linked to here.
Best wishes
Suzie
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