Parent plan

[Cherrytree]

Hi il looking for a little advice..

I had a friend to help me have a baby he said he only wanted to be a donner and wanted to be know has uncle to out child...
When I give birth hr then changed his mind to be wanting to be know has dad which I accepted
He lived with his wife he told me the was no longer together has a couple but he was living there to help with they're own children.
I took our daughter over to meet his family and other children has that was what he wanted even the wife seen our child

So over the passed few months our friendship has progressed in to a relationship and he promised me and our child the world

Little did I know he has been with his wife all along and playing mind games with me
And behind my back they have been planned to take my child away from me and play happy families

I said i was happy for our child to go over to they're house and days out with them longs I was present has i have safe guarding issues with other family member in his household but I was on hand to remove my child if I thought it was getting unsafe they wasn't happy with that

So i give him a parenting plan and said we would review it in 2months and see if we can progress but his wife wasn't happy about it so now she made him stop all contact with his child with me and said we will go to court.. That's ok
Iv not said he wasn't allowed to see our child has hes seen our child every week on 2set evenings for 2hrs a time at mine and our child's house since she was born 6 months ago and FaceTime us every weekday
We did say Saturdays as well but he's only ever turned up twice on a Saturday in 6months
(We was taking our relationship slow has i requested)


He's never paid a penny to her up bringing so far.. Not even a pack of nappies

I want our child to have a dad

I have big trust issues has hes said a load of lies and false promises

So my question is
have i got to let him take her to his house where his family live (big safe guarding issues) with out me??

And can I refuse to let his wife have contacted has is it apart of the issue
Plus a lot more

He hasn't called or messaged to check in or to see his poorly child for the passed 2weeks since I offered to work this out like adults

Please help me im a single mother and my heads all messed up

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Cherrytree

Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for posting

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group and I will respond to your query today.

I am sorry that you have found yourself in this very difficult position regarding your baby’s father and his family. You can speak with the Health Visitor about your situation as they can offer support and or make appropriate referrals for you.

It is important to understand that if you have put the father’s name on your baby’s birth certificate this means that he shares parental responsibility with you and can make decisions about the baby. If he is not on the birth certificate, then you are the only person with parental responsibility and you make decisions relating to your child. Here is information about parental responsibility

This wife wants to take a child from a mother who have a child through an extra marital relationship with her and it may be that you must consider that this couple had an agreement to go down this route to have another child. The father accepts paternity, and you can therefore seek maintenance for your baby through the Child Maintenance Service

To answer your specific question regarding contact, even if he has parental responsibility, you can set boundaries to the contact. She is a very young baby so it is not unreasonable for you to say his contact should be supervised by you possibly in your own home if you are comfortable with that. You do not have to agree to baby going to his home.

As you are a single mum and struggling with your current situation you may want to contact your local children’s services department to request support. If there are safeguarding concerns in their home and there are children under 18 living there, children’s services may agree with you that your baby should not be in that environment. This is about the procedure when children’s services receive a referral.

If you are worried about your daughter being removed from your care, you should consider taking legal advice about applying to the court for child arrangement order (live with) and a prohibited steps order to stop him taking her from your care. You can contact this organisation, Child Law Advice for more advice about this as they offer advice relating to private family law matters. This is their telephone number 0300 330 5480 and website.

You may also wish to contact Rights of Women for additional help and advice.

I hope you find this helpful. Should children’s services become involved, and you wish to speak with one of our experienced advisers, you can telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3.00pm Monday to Friday.

Best wishes

Suzie