Sister of siblings in foster care- being told I can’t see them at Christmas. Help please

[Househome]

I am a 22yr old sister of two younger siblings (13 & 10 ) in care in England. I have just been told by the currently appointed social worker that I will not be aloud to have my siblings for Christmas. A little backstory- our mum called me in July this year upset that an incident had occurred in the family home ( where my siblings live) the incident resulted in my mum calling the police and ultimately the police decided the children needed to be safeguarded so came to stay at my place with me, for the next 7 weeks both my siblings lived at my house, and I received financial support from the social services. Around the middle of September the social workers informed me they had found a placement in foster care for my siblings. I was on board with this as I only have a two bedroom flat. I was told I would be able to see them whenever and would be able to have them for periods of time. I have now just been told that I will not be aloud to have my siblings over Christmas. The children where placed in care my voluntary agreement from parents ( section 20). And the father is in favour of them spending Christmas with me, however I have been told that mum is not. Both parents have equal PR. I am now considering applying for kinship care of my siblings, if it’s going to be this complicated to simply see them. I have spoken to a solicitor who has said because I’m not a parent I wouldn’t be entitled to legal aid. I don’t know what to do. I’m so frustrated and anxious and upset. I’ve spent every Christmas of our lives with my siblings, and I can’t understand why I’ve been told no when I just had them living with me. So sad about this and hoping to god I can have them for Christmas.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Househome

Welcome to the discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie, I am an online adviser and will be replying to you today. I am sorry to hear of your situation, it must be a difficult and stressful time for you and your siblings.

You have two younger siblings who were removed from your mother’s care. They are now living in unrelated foster care under a Section 20 arrangement . Prior to them going to live with the unrelated foster carers you looked after them for several weeks under a kinship care arrangement. This was paid for by children’s services.

When the children were taken out of your care and placed with unrelated foster carers you thought this was for the best because you had a two-bedroom flat and the living space was cramped. You were told by children’s services that you would be able to see your siblings regularly and to look after them for periods of time. Also for them to be with you over the Christmas period.

You have now been told that the children will not be able to stay with you for Christmas. Whilst the children’s father agrees for them to stay with you, your mother does not. Both parents hold parental responsibility for the children therefore you are struggling to understand why one parent’s views are given priority over another. You are sad that the children will not be with you. This will be the first time in your lives that you have not spend Christmas together.

Often when children are placed in foster care, family time around significant festivities such as Christmas can be a difficult and emotive time for them. Children’s services will often plan contact with families either a week or two before or after such festivities in an attempt to reduce this for children. I think it would be unusual for children to stay with relative over the Christmas period and then return to foster care. This may be confusing for them unless the care plan is for the children to eventually return back into their families care.

I think it would be a good idea to email the allocated social worker and to include their team manager and the (IRO) independent reviewing officer for clarification of their decision making. The IRO is responsible for ensuring the care plans meet the children’s needs. If you would like to talk this through please do contact our advice line to speak to an adviser.

You are considering applying to become a kinship carer for the children if it continues to be complicated to spend time with your siblings. You have spoken to a solicitor to ascertain whether you would be entitled to Legal Aid for this purpose, and they have informed you that because you are not a parent you would not be.

The children are living in foster care under a Section 20 arrangement. This is a voluntary arrangement and each person that holds parental responsibility can withdraw their consent in certain situations. In particular, if they are able to provide alternative accommodation for the children to live. Please see previous link for parental responsibility and how children's services should be working with parents under a Section 20 arrangement.

To note, accommodation, should not been seen as the sole reason why a child is not placed within kinship care. Statutory guidance set out in Kinship Care 2024 states that ‘Housing and social care services should work in partnership to support the housing needs of kinship families.’

Previously, a kinship (family or relative) carer, such as an aunt/uncle/sibling or grandparent of a child wishing to make an application to Court to offer a child a stable and permanent home, could not apply for legal aid to do so unless they had been a victim of domestic abuse at the hands of one of the child’s parents. This meant that most kinship carers could not access legal advice when deciding how best to secure a child’s placement in their care.

However, From 1 May 2023, people seeking and responding to a special guardianship order are eligible for legal aid in private family law proceedings, subject to meeting the legal aid criteria.

Therefore, we would advise to discuss your situation with a law firm who specialising in child law advice , should you decide to go down this route. I have added HERE a link to The Law Society who have a facility to find a solicitor in your local area.

Whilst a Special Guardianship Order (SGO) is one option, there are potentially others open to you. For example, as a kinship foster carer. Please see the link for further information.

As set out in guidance, children who are looked after should be offered an advocate to support them to express their wishes and feelings whilst they are in the care of the local authority. If they have not already been offered one, It would be a good idea to discuss this with their allocated social worker. Please see Please see HERE for further information regarding this.

I hope you find this information helpful. There are many ways to contact Family Rights Group, please do look at our website for further information about this or post again here if you have further questions.

Best wishes, Suzie