1. Parents’ Forum

Monitoring my child's communications

Post Reply
OhTheyLie
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Nov 04, 2023 11:41 pm

Monitoring my child's communications

Post by OhTheyLie » Mon Feb 10, 2025 8:36 pm

My child has an older half-sibling who decided they wanted to be in Care and now has a Care Order.

During the proceedings social services refused to acknowledge I was my child's parent and kept sharing information with the half-sibling's parent, that is not shared, without both mine and both children's shared parent's permission. This continued until I went to the head of the council and my MP. Then the social workers back tracked significantly. One social worker left and the other refused to answer questions about her conduct, so the council lied about the events around their actions but conceded they had no parental responsibility over my child and no other concerns. The council also refused to answer the specific question asked by my MP who chased it up multiple times.

It was clear to me that the half-sibling's parent, that is not shared, was claiming they were my child's parent and trying to get my child in care as they manipulated the social workers in to believing they were that child's parent. I have evidence that the social workers believed this and it was based on racial assumptions due to what my child looks like, but due to how I came about this evidence I can't take it any further.

Social services also stated they were going to record my child's interactions with their half-sibling. This was until they were questioned by a solicitor. (There is now no access to this solicitor as the care order has been granted.) It took social services three months to back track and state this wouldn't be happening, during which time the children did not see and have any contact with each other.

Anyway the child in care now has (yet another) allocated social worker. This social worker has now stated she wants the children's shared parent to send her a copy of all letters and emails that include artwork, stories and poems written by my child.

As social services are not involved in my child and never had any concerns about my child, can we tell them "No"?

Can we also make it clear they are not to retain any copies of my child's creative work and that they are not allowed to share it with anyone?

The letters and emails are already monitored on both sides by third parties we are happy with. The social worker has even stated she is aware this form of communication is monitored. Therefore we cannot see there is any reason for the social worker to ask for this unless the intent is to share it with people we don't want our child's creative work shared with. We and others around our child deeply protect our child's privacy. However this and other things that have happened make it clear to me that social services do not take children's data privacy, online safety and data protection seriously enough.

User avatar
Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 4782
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 1:57 pm

Re: Monitoring my child's communications

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Tue Feb 11, 2025 3:41 pm

Dear OhTheyLie

Thank you for your post and welcome to the discussion board. My name is Suzie, I am an online adviser and will be replying to you today.
You and your ex-partner share a child. This child is not involved with children’s services. Their half sibling is, they are in the care of the local authority.

In the past you had some concerns regarding children’s services sharing information and making wrong assumptions about your child’s parentage. This has now been resolved with support from your MP, although I understand some issues remain unresolved which your MP is following up.

You say you are protective of your child and their privacy. You are concerned that the artwork created by your child (presumably to give to his half sibling in care) is being requested by the new allocate social worker (there have been several). You do not fully understand why this request has been made and have some concerns about what might happen to artwork and who it may be shared with. Letters and emails between siblings are already monitored and you are happy with this arrangement.

You are seeking advice on whether you are ‘allowed’ to refuse for your child’s artwork to be stored on file.

You hold parental responsibility for your child, as does anyone else who is named on the child’s birth certificate or has obtained a parental order. If you do not want information stored on file, unless children’s services seek permission from the court, you can exercise your parental responsibility to deny this request. Should you do this, it is possible that children’s services may stop this form of exchange between siblings. This is because when there is a care order in place, children’s services have ‘corporate parenting’ responsibility (Children Act 1989) for maintaining records of the child’s time in care (much like a parents might do when caring for their child at home). This includes paperwork, documents etc with siblings, parents and other significant people. There are several reasons for this, one being that many children move placements several times, lose items along the way and or lose contact with former foster carers and family members. Many former looked after children have very little information, mementos, personal items as point of reference because of this. If this information is stored on file, once the child is an adult, should they wish to, they can request their files from children’s services.

I think it would be a good idea to ask the new allocated social worker to write to you to explain why this request is being made now and for what purpose. Once you have this information you can make an informed decision as to whether you want to proceed or not.

You may wish to consider making a Subject Access Request (SAR) to children’s services. If you make this request, then children’s services must provide copies to you of the information held by them. Please click on the link for further information.

If you are not satisfied with areas of work carried out by children’s services, you may wish to consider making a formal complaint. I have added
HERE further information and guidance regarding this.

I hope you find this information helpful. If you would like to talk to an adviser at Family Rights Group about your situation, please call the freephone advice line on 0808 801 0366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm. If you prefer, you can post back, use our advice enquiry form or webchat. Please refer to our website for further information.

Best wishes, Suzie
Do you have 3 minutes to complete our evaluation form ? We would value your feedback on the parents’ forum.

Post Reply

Who is online

In total there are 0 users online :: 0 registered, 0 hidden and 0 guests (based on users active over the past 5 minutes)
Most users ever online was 58 on Mon Nov 03, 2025 8:02 pm