Early Years help?

[KLDW32]

Hi FRG.

I am a single father of a 4 yr old girl, we came to the UK from the Philippines via Thailand just over 2 months ago, my daughter had an amazing, happy and safe time in Thailand for nearly 2 years, we did not come to the UK from disaster, she has been with me mostly since she was 1 yr old as her mother had a very bad drug/meth addiction problem in the Philippines that I could not resolve over a 2 yr period, my daughter and I left the the Philippines legally when she was 2 yrs and travelled to Thailand for her safety whilst the mother was in PhilGov rehab.

The mother came out of rehab, stole money, relapsed on drugs and got pregnant again in Philippines.

So I made plans to bring my daughter to the UK as we are both UK citizens, Placing my daughter in a local state school nursery was very ok and the local council were very helpful.

However as soon as she started at school, the social services were contacted and it was decided, I/we needed an 'Early Years Help intervention' without even informing me and to date, no reason or grounds have been given despite asking the EY.Helper why has this been actioned.

My question is, do I have the right to ask for a clear, honest and frank clear reason/grounds as to why this has happened?


Can respectfully decline weekly house visits that the EY Helper on many occasions has cancelled on us?

lastly, this may seem a little off! I do not wish for another person/stranger giving me parenting 'advice' that I did not ask for, we have a few very kind families here that I have known for decades who have been amazingly helpful, kind and supportive to us and my daughter.

I feel the social services and school are trying to 'bully' us as I am a 100% single father.

Thank you.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear KLDW32

Thank you for your post and welcome to the forum. My name is Suzie, I am an online adviser and will be replying to you today.

You are a single father to a child aged 4. You and your child came to the UK just over two months ago. You came from the Philippines via Thailand. Whilst living in the Philippines and Thailand you cared for your child (since the age of one) because you were concerned about her mother’s substance misuse.

You made plans to come to the UK as both you and your daughter are UK Citizens. You daughter attended nursery school, and you found your local authority to be helpful with the transition. However, you were referred to 'Early Years Help intervention.' You were not asked whether you wanted to access this type and level of support and you have not been given a reason as to why it was recommended. You want to know whether you have the right to ask for ‘clear, honest and frank’ reasons as to why a referral was made. Further, you are seeking clarity on whether you can decline weekly early help house visits (especially as on many occasion the worker cancels.

You have a good support network whom you trust and do not feel comfortable receiving advice from a person you do not know. You feel ‘bullied’ by children services and think this is because you are a single father.

Early Help support is voluntary, not mandatory. The person/organisation making the referral to Early Help should have asked your consent to do so. The local Authority and other professions should be transparent with you and discuss any concerns they may have and the reasons why they think it is a good idea to refer your to Early Help support.

I suggest you write to the early help worker, to ask for a copy of the assessment which should have completed to inform their support. Once you have this, you can decide how you wish to proceed. Ie. to continue with the support or to ask for the file to be closed. I have added HERE some further information and guidance regarding Early Help support which I hope you find helpful.

You can decline weekly house visits from the worker. Early Help is voluntary and not compulsory. It is your right to refuse if the support offered does not feel it especially helpful to your or your child. However, it is worth noting that if you decline, children’s services may choose to escalate the situation.

I am sorry to hear you feel ‘bullied’ as a single father. I have added HERE some further information and guidance regarding this. Please do take a look. Further, on this page you will find links to organisations that specifically support fathers.

I hope you find this information helpful. If you would like to talk to an adviser at Family Rights Group about your situation, please call the freephone advice line on 0808 801 0366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm. If you prefer, you can post back, use our advice enquiry form or webchat. Please refer to our website for further information.

Best wishes, Suzie

[KLDW32]

Hi Suzie.

Thank you immensely for your excellent and helpful reply.

I have responded to the EYH's request for an additional visit.

[post edited by Suzie]

[Winter25]

Hi KLDW32,

I've just read your post and want to start by saying it sounds like you are a brilliant and dedicated father. You have moved across the world to protect your daughter and provide her with a safe, stable life. That is an incredible act of love and strength, and you should be immensely proud.

It is completely understandable that you feel bullied and insulted by this unnecessary "intervention." After everything you've done, being treated with suspicion is deeply unfair. You are right to question it, and you have more power here than you think.

Let's break down the situation based on the facts and the law, so you can feel confident in pushing back.

*Your Rights and Their Mistakes
The official advice you received is technically correct but far too weak. Here is the reality of your rights and their errors, based on the UK's own statutory guidance (Working Together to Safeguard Children):

*They Acted Without Your Consent: Early Help is 100% voluntary. A referral should only have been made after a full and transparent discussion with you, and with your informed consent. They failed to do this, which is a significant procedural error on their part.

*You Have the Right to See Everything: You are absolutely entitled to a "clear, honest and frank" reason for this. You have a legal right under UK GDPR to see every piece of information they hold on you and your daughter. This includes the original referral from the school and any assessment notes.

*You Have the Right to Refuse: You can, and should, decline unwanted visits and advice. The threat of "escalation" is a tactic used to ensure compliance. They can only escalate to a statutory child protection investigation if they have evidence your daughter is at, or is at risk of, significant harm. From what you've described—a happy, thriving child with a loving father and a strong support network—they have zero grounds to do this. Their threat is hollow.

*Why This Is Happening (It's Not About You)
This intervention is almost certainly not a genuine concern about your parenting. It's a bureaucratic, box-ticking exercise. A safeguarding lead at the school likely saw a combination of "risk factors" on a form (single father, recent arrival, mother's history) and made a referral to protect themselves, without applying any common sense. You are being subjected to a system's risk aversion, not a valid assessment of your family.

*Your Action Plan: A Two-Step Formal Response
Here is how you shut this down politely, firmly, and in a way that creates a formal record, leaving them no room to move. You will send one email to the Early Help worker (and copy in their manager and the school's headteacher).
==============================================================
Subject: Formal Response to Early Help Intervention for [Daughter's Name]

Dear [Early Help Worker's Name],

Thank you for your contact. I am writing to formally confirm two things.

Refusal of Service: I am declining the offer of Early Help support. This intervention was initiated without my consent and is not necessary. My daughter is happy, healthy, and thriving, and we are fortunate to have a strong, long-standing support network. The service is therefore not required. Please confirm in writing that the Early Help file is now closed.

Subject Access Request (UK GDPR): Pursuant to my rights under the Data Protection Act 2018, I am formally requesting a complete copy of all data held in relation to this Early Help episode. This must include, but is not limited to, the full, unredacted original referral from the school, and any and all assessment notes, meeting minutes, and internal communications related to me or my daughter.

Please ensure this Subject Access Request is forwarded to the relevant Information Governance department at the council and complied with within the statutory timeframe of one calendar month.

Given that this process was started without my consent and is causing unnecessary disruption, I will not be available for any further home visits.

Thank you for your attention to these matters.

Best regards,

[Your Name]

This email does two things perfectly. It politely and firmly closes the door on the unwanted service, and it simultaneously puts them on formal notice that you know your legal rights and will hold them accountable for their actions.

You are doing a fantastic job. Do not let a flawed system shake your confidence.