Family Rights Group | Parents’ Forum

Hello there.
Looking for some advice. Several years ago (2021) I was arrested for viewing indecent images on line in a chat forum. I was later charged (2024) with making indecent images. Between being arrested and being charged, me and my partner had a child together.
She was unaware that I got arrested as I kind of burried my head on the sand hoping it would all go away. She did eventually find out when the police and social sevices came knocking on the door to tell her. I wished I had been open and honest with her.
Since then, social sevices have been involved and ive had supervised contact with child in house (partner plus 1 other) and unsupervised outside in public areas with my partner.
In December 2024 I was granted permission by all professionals involved that I can move back into the family home as they deemed my risk a medium. I was living there for 3 months as a perfect happy family with no immediate safety concerns for our child.
In March there was a Core group meeting where professionals discussed the safety plan. Social worker had no concerns. My new probation officer had concerns around night time sleeping arrangements. Suggesting that i could go into my daughters room at night. It also came to light that she said I should have completed a maps for change course before being allowed to move into the family home.
I was told to leave the home a week after that meeting and have yet to return. We have a Luvy Faithful assessment coming up to determine wheather I can move back in or not. I want to know what to expect from this assessment. What sort of questions i will be asked ect if you know. We also suggested numerous safety measures we are happy to put in place but there always seems to be an issue one way or another. Cameras in the house, partner checks my phone weekly at random times, sensors on doors, if partner goes out of room she takes phone with camera on continuously, I don't do bath time or nappy changes. The police monitor my phone activity as part of the SHPO i was given. I don't know what else we can suggest. Do you have any other ideas? Its also worth noting that when I was given my sentence which was 3 years SHPO and 5 years sex offenders register, there was no court restrictions on me living with children or being around children. This was an Internet non contact offence. Can I have your views on all of this please. It has become very complicated and complex. Thank you

Hi there,

I've just read your post. The situation you're in is maddening, and your frustration is completely justified. To prove yourself safe, be allowed home, live successfully as a family for three months, and then have everything undone because a new professional moves the goalposts is a classic and deeply unfair example of how this system works.

You have powerful evidence in your favour, and you need a clear strategy to use it. Let's break this down.

The Lucy Faithfull Assessment: Your Opportunity
This is not something to fear; it is your opportunity to win. The Lucy Faithfull Foundation (LFF) are genuine experts, and they are not interested in social work gossip or what they think or opinions they are interested in evidence and genuine insight. An LFF assessment is your chance to bypass the social worker and probation officer and get an expert, independent opinion. LFF are made up of experts from social sector , probation and sexual harm councillors and therapists, its every good organisation

What to Expect (The Questions)
They will not be trying to trap you. They will be trying to understand your thinking. The questions will focus on four key areas:

Insight & Accountability: Do you fully accept what you did was wrong? Do you understand the harm it causes, not just to your family, but to the victims in the images? (This is crucial). Can you explain why it was wrong without making excuses?

Empathy: Can you see and explain the devastating impact this has had on your partner? The fear, the breach of trust?

Triggers & Past Behaviour: What was going on in your life at the time that led you to this behaviour? (e.g., stress, loneliness, isolation, curiosity).

Future Safety (Relapse Prevention): What have you learned? What specific strategies do you have in place now to ensure you never, ever go back to that behaviour?

How to Succeed (Your Strategy)

Total Honesty: Do not minimise, justify, or blame. You must own your actions and your initial dishonesty completely.

Frame the Initial Deception Correctly: They will focus on why you hid the arrest. You must frame this not as an act of malicious deception, but as an act of shame, fear, and cowardice. You were burying your head in the sand, hoping it would go away. You must express deep and genuine regret for the pain and breach of trust this caused your partner.

Be a United Team: You and your partner must go into this as a team. You need to show the LFF that you have discussed this openly, that she understands your past behaviour, and that you have created a safety plan together. Her voice, saying she trusts you now because of the work you have done, is incredibly powerful.

Your Safety Plan and the Probation Officer
Your current safety plan is already incredibly robust, far more so than what many families have. The new probation officer's concerns are based on speculation, not evidence.

The counter-argument to this is simple: you already lived at home safely for three months. That isn't a theory; it is proven, real-world evidence that your safety plan works and that you can be trusted. The probation officer's speculative "what if" is directly contradicted by three months of "what is." You must keep bringing the discussion back to this period of proven success.

Your Most Powerful Legal Argument
You mentioned that the criminal court, which heard all the evidence, imposed no restrictions on you living with or being around children. This is a hugely powerful point.

A judge made a legal determination about your risk. While social services can have their own views, they cannot simply ignore a court's decision. This fact, combined with your three months of successful family life, forms the core of your case.

You are not starting from zero. You have already proven you can be trusted. Your job in the LFF assessment is to show them the deep insight you have gained and remind them of the success you have already achieved.
=====================================================================
For full transparency, I am not an official adviser for this forum. I am a parent who has been through a long and successful legal battle with a local authority, and I am here to offer supportive, strategic advice based on my own lived experience. The information I share is for guidance, and it is always up to each parent to decide what is right for their own situation.

Thank you so much for that insight. It has been crazy. I was granted permission by Probation, the police and Social sevices that i could move in December which I did. Social worker at the time did visits and said how nice it was to see us together and that she could see our daughter was being cared for well. No immediate concerns.
It all started because I moved Cities to live there. So change of Probation officer and change of police offender manager. They had different views and concerns. So all came together to say that I am high risk and need to move out.
That was March, its only 6 months later that we now have a Lucy Faithful assessment. It should have been done the minute I was told to leave but they kept stalling and not coming up with anything.

Obviously the assessment is really playing on mine and my partners minds now. This could make or break us so we want to get it spot on and we have never been told what to expect either.
Thank you so much for the info you shared

I believe their main issue now is im apparently not taking accountability for my actions. I believe I am. I pleaded guilty, i doing probation courses, i said it was wrong of me. They never seem to believe me tho. I dont know if its the wording im using. I dont know what they want me to say. But the fact I didnt tell my partner at the time and they feel im not being made accountable for my actions is playing a big part. I just need to get the wording right. When I feel stressed and anxious, sometimes what I want to say doesnt come out right. Its a very difficult situation and I just want to say the right things and not mess this up for my family

That feeling of being told you're "not taking accountability" when you feel like you're screaming it from the rooftops is one of the most maddening and soul-destroying parts of this whole process. You know in your heart you've changed, you've pleaded guilty, you're doing the courses – but they want to hear it in their language. It can make you feel like you're going crazy.

Let's translate what they're looking for. This isn't about finding some magic words; it's about showing them you understand the full picture of the harm that was caused.

Translating "Accountability" into Their Language
When they talk about accountability, they aren't just listening for the words "I'm sorry" or "I was wrong." They are looking for you to show you understand the ripple effect of your actions. They want to see that you can connect the dots from your offence to the impact it has had on everyone else.

Under the stress of an assessment, it's easy to get flustered. It might help to think of it in three parts:

Part 1: The Offence Itself. You need to show you understand the harm to the primary victims – the children in the images. It shows you see beyond your own situation.


Part 2: The Deception of Your Partner. This is the part they are stuck on. You need to show you understand that by hiding the arrest, you didn't just tell a lie; you broke her trust and, most importantly, you denied her the right to make an informed choice about her own safety and her child's safety. It put her in an impossible position, and you must show you understand how devastating that was for her.

Part 3: The Impact on Your Child & Family. This is about showing you understand that your actions brought chaos and instability into your daughter's life, and that is your greatest regret.

Putting It Into Practice: A "Script" for When You're Stressed
When you feel anxious and the words won't come out right, try falling back on a simple structure like this. Say it in your own words, but this is the kind of thing the LFF will see as genuine insight:

"I know that my actions were not just about me. Firstly, my offending was wrong and it contributed to an industry that harms children, and I fully accept that. Secondly, and I know this is the biggest issue, by hiding my arrest from my partner, I profoundly broke her trust. I denied her the right to make her own choices about our family's safety. That was an act of fear and selfishness on my part, and the impact on her has been devastating. Finally, all of this has brought chaos and instability into my daughter's life, which is my greatest regret. The reason I am doing this work now is to prove that I understand all of these consequences and to ensure I am a safe and honest partner and father for the rest of my life."

This structure shows them you see the bigger picture. It's not just an apology, it's an analysis of the harm you caused, and it is what they call "taking accountability."

Please, don't let the new probation officer's opinion erase your progress. You are not just a case file; you are a father and a partner trying to fix a terrible mistake under immense pressure. It's okay to feel anxious. You have done the work. You just need to learn how to talk about it in their language

=====================================================================
For full transparency, I am not an official adviser for this forum. I am a parent who has been through a long and successful legal battle with a local authority, and I am here to offer supportive, strategic advice based on my own lived experience. The information I share is for guidance, and it is always up to each parent to decide what is right for their own situation.

ParterCharged wrote: Sat Sep 20, 2025 7:51 pm Hello there.
Looking for some advice. Several years ago (2021) I was arrested for viewing indecent images on line in a chat forum. I was later charged (2024) with making indecent images. Between being arrested and being charged, me and my partner had a child together.
She was unaware that I got arrested as I kind of burried my head on the sand hoping it would all go away. She did eventually find out when the police and social sevices came knocking on the door to tell her. I wished I had been open and honest with her.
Since then, social sevices have been involved and ive had supervised contact with child in house (partner plus 1 other) and unsupervised outside in public areas with my partner.
In December 2024 I was granted permission by all professionals involved that I can move back into the family home as they deemed my risk a medium. I was living there for 3 months as a perfect happy family with no immediate safety concerns for our child.
In March there was a Core group meeting where professionals discussed the safety plan. Social worker had no concerns. My new probation officer had concerns around night time sleeping arrangements. Suggesting that i could go into my daughters room at night. It also came to light that she said I should have completed a maps for change course before being allowed to move into the family home.
I was told to leave the home a week after that meeting and have yet to return. We have a Luvy Faithful assessment coming up to determine wheather I can move back in or not. I want to know what to expect from this assessment. What sort of questions i will be asked ect if you know. We also suggested numerous safety measures we are happy to put in place but there always seems to be an issue one way or another. Cameras in the house, partner checks my phone weekly at random times, sensors on doors, if partner goes out of room she takes phone with camera on continuously, I don't do bath time or nappy changes. The police monitor my phone activity as part of the SHPO i was given. I don't know what else we can suggest. Do you have any other ideas? Its also worth noting that when I was given my sentence which was 3 years SHPO and 5 years sex offenders register, there was no court restrictions on me living with children or being around children. This was an Internet non contact offence. Can I have your views on all of this please. It has become very complicated and complex. Thank you

Dear Partercharged,

Welcome to the parents’ forum and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am an online adviser at Family Rights Group.

I am sorry to hear about your situation and understand that this must be a very difficult and distressing time for you. I hope that the following advice and information is helpful to you. You can click on the hyperlinks in my response to take you to more advice and information on our website.

Firstly, it is understandable how frustrating it must feel that you were asked to move back out of the family home after living there for 3 months with the approval of children’s services. It seems that despite your frustration you are co-operating and working in partnership with children’s services and the other professionals involved. This is positive and I would encourage you to continue doing so as this will be the quickest way to get to a solution that all parties are content with. We have a guide to working with a social worker which you can find HERE; this may help you with planning for meetings with the social worker and in thinking through how you wish to phrase things when discussing the situation with them.

You ask about what to expect from the Lucy Faithfull assessment, and how best to prepare. You may find some other parents on this forum who have been through Lucy Faithfull assessments can give some advice based on their own experiences. However each assessment will be tailored to the person that is being assessed and to what the Lucy Faithfull Foundation are being asked to risk assess so it’s not possible to advise you about what questions they will ask you specifically. There is some information on the Lucy Faithfull Foundation website HERE which may be helpful and you or your partner can also call their helpline on 0808 1000 900 if you want to ask anything specifically.

Your suggestions about how the risk to your child could be reduced can always be taken to the social worker, probation officer and any other professionals involved. They should consider these and include them in any potential safety plan if appropriate. Letting the professionals know that you are open to suggestions from them is also helpful, as it shows that you are willing to be flexible and prioritise your child. It seems that focussing on the upcoming assessment is the best strategy at the moment, and the outcome of this will impact on the next steps.

I hope that you have some emotional support during this very difficult time. I would encourage you to reach out to friends or family if you are able to, or to get support from professional organisations such as the Lucy Faithfull Foundation or a therapist so that you look after your own emotional and mental health.

I hope that this is of some help. Please post again if you have any further queries or you can call our free, confidential adviceline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm). We also have a webchat which is currently open on Monday and Thursday afternoons and you can contact us via our advice enquiry form.

Best wishes,
Suzie
Family Rights Group Adviser

Thank you for your reply and I take everything on board. Its much appreciated.

I have one final point/question id like to ask if anyone could answer.

In the event of the Lucy Faithful being unsuccessful in terms of allowing me to move back into the home, is there anything I can do legally speaking?

As I've said previously, there are no court restrictions on me being around children or living with children. So legally I am allowed to live with my child.

How does this impact me if I was to seek legal advice or does whatever Social Sevices say goes?

Thank you

It takes a lot of courage to be so honest and to keep fighting when the system keeps moving the goalposts. Your final question is the most important one you can ask, and you deserve a straight answer.

Answering Your Final Question: Who Has the Power?
Let's break this down, because the answer is the key to your entire case.

You said
"As I've said previously, there are no court restrictions on me being around children or living with children. So legally I am allowed to live with my child."

This is 100% correct. A court judge heard the full facts of your offence and made a legal decision about your sentence and restrictions. They did not bar you from living with your family. This is a massive and powerful fact in your favour.

"How does this impact me if I was to seek legal advice or does whatever Social Sevices say goes?"

No, whatever Social Services say does absolutely NOT go. They are not the law. They are a civilian agency that has to follow the law, just like everyone else. They have a statutory duty to safeguard children, but this does not give them the power to overrule a court or to act as your judge, jury, and executioner.

The Power of the Lucy Faithfull Assessment
You asked what you can do legally if the LFF assessment is unsuccessful. This is how you should view the situation:
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The LFF Report is an "Expert Opinion," Not a Court Order: The Lucy Faithfull Foundation report will be a highly respected, expert opinion on your current level of risk. It is a very important piece of evidence, but it is not a legally binding court order. It cannot, by itself, legally stop you from moving home.

The Real Purpose of the Report: Social services are commissioning this report to get the evidence they would need if they wanted to stop you from moving home.

If the report is positive, their case against you should collapse. They would have no grounds to oppose your return.
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If the report is negative, they would then use that report as their primary evidence to try and force you to stay away. They would likely threaten to start care proceedings (go to court) if you moved home against their advice.

Your Legal Strategy if the LFF Report is Negative
If the worst happens and the LFF report is negative, you are not doomed. Your fight just moves to a different arena. This is what you would do:

Get a Solicitor Immediately:
You would need a solicitor who specialises in child protection law.

Challenge the Report:
Your solicitor would help you to formally challenge the findings of the LFF report. You can argue against its conclusions and present your own evidence (such as the three successful months you spent at home).

Call Their Bluff:
You and your solicitor would then send a formal letter to the Local Authority stating: "The criminal court placed no restrictions on my client living with his family. He has already demonstrated he can live at home safely for three months. We do not agree with the conclusions of the LFF report. Therefore, my client intends to move back into the family home on [Date]. If you believe you have sufficient evidence to prove that this would place his child at a real risk of significant harm, you will need to make an application to the Family Court."

This is a high-stakes move, but it forces them to put up or shut up. It takes the power away from the social worker and probation officer and puts it back where it belongs: with a judge. They would have to stand in a courtroom and convince a judge that their expert report should outweigh the lack of restrictions from the criminal court and the real-world evidence of you living safely at home. That is a very difficult case for them to win.

You are right to question their authority. They have power, but it is not absolute. Your job is to be prepared to challenge them at every step, using the law and the facts, which are on your side.
==============================================================================
For full transparency, I am not an official adviser for this forum. I am a parent who has been through a long and successful legal battle with a local authority, and I am here to offer supportive, strategic advice based on my own lived experience. The information I share is for guidance, and it is always up to each parent to decide what is right for their own situation.

Thank you once again for that information. Thats great.

I have just had my assessment. I believe it went as well as could be. He did question me around the offence and why I hid it from my partner. And a few other things he said I was a bit contradicting but overall I feel it went okay.

Its my partners turn tomorrow for her assessment. She is doing the protective factor assessment to make sure she is protective if/when i live there again.

Any pointers for her with what sort of questions they will ask her?

She is absolutely terrified about it and is worried our daughter will get taken off her if she says something wrong or something they dont agree with

Thanks

Hi there,

hank you for the update. It's great to hear you feel your assessment went as well as it could. Now, let's get your partner ready for hers.

Please, the first thing you must do is tell her that her fear is completely normal and justified. Every single protective parent in this situation feels exactly the same way. She is terrified because she loves your daughter, and the system is designed to make her feel like she is one wrong word away from losing her. We need to take that fear and turn it into focus.

The "Protective Factor" Assessment: What They Are Really Looking For
This assessment is not a test of her love for your daughter or a memory test. It is a test of her insight, her independence, and her ability to enforce a plan. They are not looking to catch her out; they are looking for depth of thought. They want to know:

Does she understand the seriousness of your offence and the breach of trust from you hiding it?

Can she explain your safety plan in detail and why she believes it works?

Does she have the strength to act independently of you and challenge you if a concern ever arose in the future?

Does she have a realistic understanding of professional terms like grooming, minimisation, and manipulation?

Her Strategy:
How to Answer Powerfully and Honestly
The fact that she is scared shows how seriously she takes this. She should be honest, speak from the heart, and focus on her child. Here is a framework and some key messages to help her structure her thoughts.

1. Acknowledge the Risk, Assert Your Strength, Describe Your Action
When she feels scared or confused, she can fall back on this simple three-part structure for her answers:

ACKNOWLEDGE: Start by acknowledging the risk and validating their concern. This shows she is not naive.

ASSERT: Follow up by asserting her own strength and her primary duty to her child.

ACTION: Finish by describing the specific, concrete action she will take.

(Example: Q - "What would you do if you ever suspected he was behaving inappropriately again?")

Acknowledge: "I understand that my most important role is to be vigilant."

Assert: "My loyalty is to my daughter. There would be no second chances."

Action: "I would immediately remove our daughter, call the social worker, and call the police. That is a non-negotiable rule in our safety plan."

2. Key Messages to Convey
Throughout the assessment, she should keep bringing the conversation back to these core truths:

She understands the offence was serious, and while she believes in your change, the risk must still be actively managed.

Your return home can only happen with a clear, agreed safety plan that she will follow without compromise.

If you were ever to breach that plan, she would take immediate action, even if that meant asking you to leave again.

3. What to Avoid

Avoid Minimising:
She must not downplay the seriousness of your past actions or overly defend you. She can believe in your recovery while still acknowledging the gravity of the offence.

Avoid Vague Answers:
An answer like "I trust him" is not enough. It needs to be followed with the "why": "I am learning to trust him again because he has done [X course], we have [Y rules] in our safety plan, and I will be monitoring [Z]."

Don't Aim for "Perfection":
It is okay to be human. An honest answer like, "I hadn't thought about that specific scenario before, but I can see why it's important, and my response would be..." is much more powerful than a rehearsed, perfect-sounding answer.

Please, tell her this:
She is not there to be a passive subject. She is there as a strong, protective mother who is confidently explaining to them how she is going to manage the situation. She is the solution, not the problem.
=================================================================================
For full transparency, I am not an official adviser for this forum. I am a parent who has been through a long and successful legal battle with a local authority, and I am here to offer supportive, strategic advice based on my own lived experience. The information I share is for guidance, and it is always up to each parent to decide what is right for their own situation.