Contact

[Gran1103]

I am in the process of moving and my granddaughter (8 mths) is on an SGO with paternal uncle & aunt. They are only allowing mum two hours of contact per month and will not communicate with her at all. I only see her during this time too. Mum has recently attended mediation and we are waiting for their reply. Question is, if my daughter moves with me (roughly 100 miles away) will the new local authority be able to help her with contact?

[Robin D]

Unlikely I would have thought on the assumption that the child remains in the same area as the original placement. @Suzie from FRG may well know more and correct me.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Gran1103

Thank you for your post and welcome to the discussion board. My name is Suzie, I am an online adviser and will be replying to you today.

I am sorry to hear of your situation. It must be a difficult time for you and your daughter.

Your granddaughter is being looked after by her paternal uncle and aunt. There is a Special Guardianship Order in place (SGO). Your daughter has contact with her child for two hours once a month. This is when you also spend time with your granddaughter. Apart from this, the uncle and aunt do not communicate with your daughter. To improve communications, your daughter has started formal mediation in the hope of improving the situation.

You and your daughter will be moving 100 miles away and you are seeking advice on whether the new local authority will be able to support her with contact.

It is positive that your daughter has started the mediation process. Hopefully this will support all concerned to improve the situation. I have added HERE a link to Family Mediation Council which you may find helpful. It sets out the mediation process and how it works to support families in all types of situations.

In respect of support from children’s services. This will remain with the authority where your grandchild is residing. It will not move to your new local authority. I have added HERE a link to our information and guidance regarding contact between parents and children when there is an SGO in place. If you link on 2(b) and scroll down to page 6 you will find guidance and information regarding this.

I hope you find this information helpful. If you would like to talk to an adviser at Family Rights Group about your situation, please call the freephone advice line on 0808 801 0366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm. If you prefer, you can post back, use our advice enquiry form or webchat. Please refer to our website for further information.

Best wishes, Suzie

[Gran1103]

Thanks for your replies. Unfortunately the local authority here will not help us at all. Despite being shouted at and almost physically assaulted at contact with my 8 month old granddaughter present. I am really worried about her but we are powerless to help her without support from services. My daughter has no updates, no photos - nothing at all. She can’t even call to rearrange contact in an emergency. Just two hours a month and then told we are difficult because we want to communicate and ask how she is etc. There is no involvement with Social services currently so would this make a difference at all? I was really hoping a new local authority would help.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Gran1103

Thank you for the update.

I am sorry to hear of your experiences during contact with your granddaughter and your loss of confidence in the local authority to support with such matters.

Contact does not sound like a good experience for you or her. If you feel threatened, then I would suggest consideration is given to taking a break from contact until the issues are resolved and contact is an enjoyable experience for your grandchild, you and your daughter. A child should feel safe and secure during contact and it is the responsibility of the adults around her to ensure this. If there is conflict this will impact on her emotional well-being and possibly cause her physical harm should she get caught up in an altercation.

You say you are ‘really worried’ about your grandchild but do not put this into context. If you have concerns about her safety, then I would advise you to contact children’s services to discuss those concerns. You can do this anonymously if you do not feel comfortable providing your details. The NSPCC also provide the same service. Please click HERE for further information and advice regarding the NSPCC.

In general, contact once a month would be considered reasonable for children living under an SGO. Whilst there are no set rules around the frequency and duration of contact, the focus should be on meeting the child's needs at particular times in their lives.

When an SGO is in place, it is the responsibility, and at the discretion of, the person holding the order to make decisions regarding information sharing in the child’s best interest. I cannot comment on your particular situation as I do not have all the information before me, and it is outside of our remit. However, if you cannot reach agreement then you may wish to consider making an application to court for a child arrangement order in an attempt to put in place formal contact arrangements. There is also the facility to make an application for a specific issues order relating to a particular matter. I have added HERE a link to Child Law Advice where you can find further information and guidance regarding these processes.

It can be very difficult for birth parents and their relatives in your type of situation. Your daughter may wish to seek emotional support to help them to process the situation. I have added HERE
a link to Matchmothers. This organisation that supports mothers who are no longer caring for their children.

I have further added HERE a link to PAC UK. They have helpful information and guidance for birth parents and other family members. This does pertain mainly to parents whose children being adopted but they do also have some support for people in your type of situation.

I hope this helps.
Best wishes, Suzie.

[Gran1103]

I am concerned by their behaviour. If they can act like that in front of people they do not know then what is going on at home behind closed doors? Is my grand daughter safe in their care? My daughter has reported the incident to police and it’s been recorded as domestic violence but services here say no further action.

My daughter has already lost two sons to adoption so we were desperately hoping to have regular meaningful contact with her daughter on SGO.

Services here have continually given me negative viability for all my grandchildren due to my daughter’s history and being in care and my many complaints. But this was largely due to undiagnosed autism. She was diagnosed aged 20 but this was too late for her two sons.

My youngest still lives at home and my eldest works as a professional but neither have ever been in care. I have no drug, alcohol or mental health issues and no history of them either. I work full time in a job of over twenty years. I have a spare bedroom. But this local authority will not support me or my family at all and this is part of the reason for me moving home, so I at least have a chance of helping future grandchildren with a different LA. I plan to apply for a contact order after moving but I guess I’ll be criticised for moving so far away - you just can’t win.

Thanks for the support group information I think it will be really helpful for my daughter. If I have any further concerns I will raise them via the NSPCC too. Thanks again.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Gran1103

Thank you for your post.

Given your concerns, I think you acted appropriately and reported to the police. Whilst I understand the outcome was not want you wanted, the police assessed the situation and in their professional opinion, advised no further action. If you are not in agreement to this decision you may wish to raise a complaint to them. Please find
HERE further information regarding this process.

I am sorry to hear two of your grandchildren have been adopted. This must be a real loss to their mother and to you. If you feel you need to, please do take a look at the birth parent and family support from PAC -UK as highlighted in my previous response to you.

I understand you and your daughter’s wish to have regular meaningful contact with your granddaughter, hopefully the way forward is via the mediation process (which you have started) where expectations can be agreed and set. Of course, as previously advised, you may wish to consider making a request to make an application for a child arrangements order if mediation is unable to resolve the situation.

Your daughter received a diagnosis of autism aged 20. You feel this was a factor in her children being removed from her care. I have added a link HERE that you( your daughter) may find helpful. It is to the National Autistic Society (NAS). They have information and guidance for adults who have received diagnosis in adulthood which you and your daughter may find helpful.

I hope you find the information helpful.

Best wishes, Suzie