Help needed

[DGR21]

So back in May we were contacted by SW regarding a relative that was pregnant but unable to look after baby die to ongoing issues.

We live over 3 hours away in a different council area.. baby was born end of June and we came down to the area where baby was born once she was discharged from hospital so we were able to look after her...

SW said we needed to spend 2 weeks here we have now been here 3 with a potential further 3 to go..

Kinship have only just got involved and our home assesment hasn't been done meaning we aren't allowed to take baby back to our home and we feel that they are purposely delaying this and keeping us down here deliberately and constantly being lied to and decived..

Is at acceptable for us to be expected to spend 4-8 weeks from our own home and the majority of the kitchenship assesment to be done away from our home in various air bnbs that SW find for us??

Also is or acceptable to expect a 2/3 month old baby to travel 3 hours 2/3 times a week for "family time" with her bio mum and dad or is it acceptable for us to expect them to travel to an area closer to her?

Any help grately appreciated

[Robin D]

@suzie the FRG advisor will probably give you better advice, but I cannot see how on earth anyone can assess the suitability of you and your home, or if the baby is going to be safe and happy there if all the assessments have been made in local accommodation!

On your second question about contact, the answer is no I do not think it's at all acceptable to subject any child to spend that amount of time travelling two or three times a week! That is an awful lot of contact if the placement is expected to be permanent. In 20+ years of contact over long distances with various children, contact was usually once a month or bi-monthly with the venue varying between locations so that no-one had to travel all the time. The only except was one mother who really enjoyed the day out and SS were happy to give her a railway warrant. Most contacts were then a few miles from our home near the railway station. (We lived rurally with no buses).

The difficulty I have is having no suggestions as to what you should do about it in the short term. For the moment I think you have to continue to play to their rules, but again @suzie may have much better suggestions.

I wish you luck .... Robin

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

So back in May we were contacted by SW regarding a relative that was pregnant but unable to look after baby die to ongoing issues.

We live over 3 hours away in a different council area.. baby was born end of June and we came down to the area where baby was born once she was discharged from hospital so we were able to look after her...

SW said we needed to spend 2 weeks here we have now been here 3 with a potential further 3 to go..

Kinship have only just got involved and our home assesment hasn't been done meaning we aren't allowed to take baby back to our home and we feel that they are purposely delaying this and keeping us down here deliberately and constantly being lied to and decived..

Is at acceptable for us to be expected to spend 4-8 weeks from our own home and the majority of the kitchenship assesment to be done away from our home in various air bnbs that SW find for us??

Also is or acceptable to expect a 2/3 month old baby to travel 3 hours 2/3 times a week for "family time" with her bio mum and dad or is it acceptable for us to expect them to travel to an area closer to her?

Any help grately appreciated

Dear DGRT1,

Thank you for your post and welcome to the Kinship Carers’ forum.
I am Suzie, an online adviser replying to you today.

You explain that children’s services contacted you in May 2025 to discuss your kinship care of a baby who was born at the end of June.

You have been asked to care for the baby at a series of temporary addresses far away from your own home. It may be that your temporary relocation is more about the practical arrangement needed for the contact. It would not be necessary for you to be away from your own home for the kinship care assessment to take place. Indeed, this assessment should include a consideration of your accommodation and any changes that may be needed for you to safely care for the baby.
A 3-hour journey (6 hours round trip?) 2-3 times a week would be arduous for a small baby; I do see that point.

If children’s services are making arrangements the baby they is likely to be a looked after child. You can read more about this here.

You do not say whether the local authority has issued care proceedings or whether a S.20 voluntary agreement is in place. As the outcome of care proceedings is not known until the final hearing it is good practice for children’s services to keep up a high level of contact for parents so that attachment is not disrupted. This is important in case the court ultimately decides that it is in the baby’s best interests to return to the care of one or both parents. If instead the court decides that baby should remain with you as kinship carers the level of contact would change and frequency would likely reduce.

You can read more about care proceedings here. More detail about S.20 voluntary agreements is here.

As a looked after child, the baby should have a care plan. Contact arrangements should be included in the care plan and an independent reviewing officer is appointed to oversee and review the care plan. You can read more about this here and the different types of kinship care arrangement arrangements here.

Given that the journey time between your home and the parent’s home is so long it may be useful for you and the parents to meet for family decision making on how contact can best be planned.

Family group conference is a way for the network around a child to come together to discuss how everyone can best work together in their best interests and might be a good way for you and the parents to negotiate and possibly compromise on the contact arrangements. You can read about family group conference here.

As you are engaged in a kinship care assessment it may be useful for you to read about best practice in initial assessment here.

I hope this information was useful to you.

You can post again here if you would like further advice or peer support from other forum users.
Other ways of contacting Family Rights Group are outlined below
There are many different ways to contact Family Rights Group if you seek further advice in the future:

• A free telephone advice line open Monday to Friday between 9.30am and 3pm (excluding Bank Holidays) on 0808 801 0366
• Easy-to-follow online information. Features include an A-Z, FAQs, films, ‘top tips’ and legal advice sheets;
• A webchat service where you can message an adviser online, who will help you find information and advice to support you.
• Submitting an email enquiry via the advice enquiry form here to receive a response within 5 working days.

Best wishes,
Suzie