Family Rights Group | Kinship carers’ Forum

Hi,

Last year my cousin died and the partner struggled to parent so the 3 young children were placed in care.
SS asked all the family first if anyone was willing to take on the 3 children, under 5. None of the immediate family were willing to however myself and Husband said yes.
We went through t first wring assessments and panel etc and the children were placed in our care.
Unfortunately SS provided no support, the older child was overly physical with the younger children causing them to be hurt and the advice given was to give separate rooms. We did not have space for this and the older childs behaviour became unmanageable! (SS also had not sorted him a school placement so he was at home all the time) at a PEP meeting 3 weeks later I broke down and advised I could not manage the oldest child and keep the younger 2 safe. I had the middle child in. Childcare for the free 15hours and we paid for 2 extra days to keep the older 2 separated so we could limit physical behaviour. The day before the meeting, the oldest was finally offered a school placement so but they would only allow an hour a day. Through speaking to family, the oldest was apparently under assessments from the age of 2 for a number of SEND needs however the SS would neither deny or confirm but insisted his behaviour was trauma.
I gave notice on the oldest the day after the meeting and stipulated the reasons that the 2 older children were getting hurt and not just normal sibling rivalry, I was also the subject of physical and verbal abuse from the oldest so found it really difficult when my husband was at work. The SS told us once they had accepted notice that they would be removing all 3 children and came for them a few days later . We were devastated, we wanted to apply for an SGO for all 3 but the oldest needs a lot of support which he is now receiving.
We made it clear we still want to go for an SGO for the younger 2 and have visited regularly and engaged with all training provided since the children left us.
A sibling assessment was done by the last SW and she advised the younger ones returning to us and the older staying with the current carers however at the meeting they could not all agree this was best so the meeting was postponed for more info. It has now been 5 months since that meeting, a new SW is on board and the only contact I have had with her is when I rang to introduce myself.
Last week my SW told us that she had met with the children’s SW and the children were not returning to us! No meeting has been held and my SW could not answer any of my questions about the future of these children and advised the other SW would contact me, she then ended the call by asking me to email to deregister from fostering!
Our SW has not been at all supportive and we had decided if the children came back to ask for a new SW. We do live in a different area but to be told to deregister was a real kick in the teeth.
I have had no luck getting hold of the children’s SW or her manager. Any advice please? We really want the younger children to come back to us and would ensure they kept a relationship with the older child.

Dear NH1234

Welcome to the kinship carers’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.

I am sorry to hear about your family’s difficult situation. Your cousin’s three children were taken into care following the death of your cousin and as their partner could not care for them. I don’t know if the partner was also the parent of some or all the children. You and your husband put yourself forward to care for the children, to try to keep them safe in their family. You were assessed and later approved as kinship foster carers and the children placed in your care.

You describe how unfortunately, neither you nor the children were provided with sufficient support especially in relation to the eldest child’s emotional and behavioural needs. Due to this child’s challenging behaviour, differing opinions about the cause of their behaviour and that this was harming the younger children and putting you at risk, you made the difficult decision to let children’s services know that you were no longer able to care for that child. Children’s services then removed all three children from your care and placed them in unrelated foster care.

Since then, you have maintained that you would like to become special guardians to the two younger children. You have continued to have family time with the children and completed additional training. Children’s services completed a sibling assessment initially recommending that the two younger children be placed back with you and the older child remaining with their current carer. However, this plan was not finalised, there was a gap of 5 months until your supervising social worker recently informed you that the children’s social worker is no longer recommending that they place the younger children back in your care. They also suggested that you deregister as a kinship foster carer, presumably as children’s services are not planning to return the children to you under a fostering arrangement. You make the point that, as far as you know, this decision was not made at a formal meeting e.g. a Looked After Child review.

I understand that this is quite shocking and that during this time there have clearly been unacceptable delays and poor communication from children's services with you. You can of course take steps to challenge children’s services’ decision, make a complaint and make an application for a Special Guardianship Order (SGO) for the two younger children.

You don’t specify in your post exactly what the children’s current legal status is or how long this whole process has been going on. It would be helpful to clarify this so that I can provide more targeted advice. The children are looked after; this could be under a voluntary section 20 arrangement with their parent (if there is a parent with parental responsibility), under a temporary care order (if there are ongoing care proceedings) or there may be a full care order in place. I think that there is a care order already in place as you don’t mention any court proceedings. If this is not the case, please post back to clarify.

I would suggest that you:

• Send an email to all the professionals involved i.e. the children’s social worker, their manager, and the children’s Independent Reviewing Officer (IRO) , copying in your supervising social worker and their manager asking for written confirmation of the information that the social worker shared with you and reasons for this decision. You should query why the long delay in reaching this decision and whether it was considered at a LAC review (and if not, why not). I would suggest that you ask for a written response within 10 working days. It may be helpful to remind children’s services of their duties to review plans for children and properly explore the possibility of placing them (again in your case) with kinship foster carers; please see here for a summary of this.
• If you are unhappy with the response and want to challenge the decision, how it was reached and how you were treated in this process then you can make a formal complaint. Please see here for how to do so.
• Keep up your family time with the children and remain as involved as you can. If children’s services suggest reducing your contact be prepared to challenge this too.
• You can consider making an application to the family court for an SGO. If children’s services do not consent to you applying for an SGO then you would need to ask the court’s permission to do so. In these circumstances, the court would take account of children’s services’ plans for the children’s future and the wishes and feelings of the children’s parent. You must give children’s services notice that you intend to apply for a SGO so that they can assess you. Please see our advice sheets on DIY Special Guardianship Orders which provide detailed advice on how to do so. If there are current care proceedings for the children, then you would apply to join your application to the current proceedings.
• Your fostering social worker has suggested that you deregister as a foster carer, presumably as there is no current plan to place the children back with you. However, it may be helpful to maintain your registration, for now, while you are challenging children’s services about their plans for the children.

I know there is a lot to think through. It may be helpful for you to call the freephone advice line to speak to one of the experienced advisers. The freephone number is 0808 8010366, the lines are open from 9.30 am to 3.00 pm, Mon to Fri (except bank holidays). Please post back on this forum if that is better for you, too.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes

Suzie