Bewildered

[Teamonica]

Hi, looking for advice
Our grandchildren are 5 and 6 years old and we live over an hour and half away. At the beginning we were told the children had to remain at the school they already attend, we found this left us out of the assessment and so my daughter stepped in and took on her nephew's only to find she couldn't manage challenging behaviour and subsequently they went to foster carers after a few months of seeing them on my Sons contact time we were told that we could put ourselves forward for assessment, we did and during the process there would be a transition stage of them coming to us, having them on the weekend which was lovely. However the care plan meetings were all negative and seemed heavily in favour of the foster carer sticking to her routine, only allowed the time when it suited her. She was even messaging me on how much she was missing them. I raised my concerns which wasn't listened to and a few days before moving to us she said the boys stated to her, the boys social worker that they didn't feel safe. This put a stop to everything.
We strongly argued this and we were deeply hurt, we felt the boys were confused by the way they were back and forth and clearly the foster carer has grown a unhealthy attachment to them.
We are now having to start the process again for SGO but are still bewildered by this and she remains having the control, we are told panel will be 24th June, any advice please would be great