Hi, looking for advice
Our grandchildren are 5 and 6 years old and we live over an hour and half away. At the beginning we were told the children had to remain at the school they already attend, we found this left us out of the assessment and so my daughter stepped in and took on her nephew's only to find she couldn't manage challenging behaviour and subsequently they went to foster carers after a few months of seeing them on my Sons contact time we were told that we could put ourselves forward for assessment, we did and during the process there would be a transition stage of them coming to us, having them on the weekend which was lovely. However the care plan meetings were all negative and seemed heavily in favour of the foster carer sticking to her routine, only allowed the time when it suited her. She was even messaging me on how much she was missing them. I raised my concerns which wasn't listened to and a few days before moving to us she said the boys stated to her, the boys social worker that they didn't feel safe. This put a stop to everything.
We strongly argued this and we were deeply hurt, we felt the boys were confused by the way they were back and forth and clearly the foster carer has grown a unhealthy attachment to them.
We are now having to start the process again for SGO but are still bewildered by this and she remains having the control, we are told panel will be 24th June, any advice please would be great
Bewildered
-
Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 1146
- Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:25 pm
Re: Bewildered
Dear Teamonica,
Thank you for your post and welcome to the kinship carers’ forum.
I am Suzie, an online adviser for Family Rights Group responding to you today.
I am sorry to hear about these difficult circumstances.
You explain that your grandchildren are living with foster parents, following the breakdown of their placement with their aunt. You mention care plan meetings – so it seems that the children are looked after under a care order.
You explain that you would have come forward as potential carers during the care proceedings, but your distance from the children’s school was seen as a negative factor and the children’s aunt was assessed as an alternative carer instead at that stage, When that arrangement did not work out the children were placed with non-family foster carers. Then children’s social care suggested that your offer to be assessed as potential carers be revisited. Your grandchildren were coming to you for weekend contact and you believed that this was going very well, but the looked after child reviews were negative about the arrangement. You point out that the children have had to cope with many different care arrangements, and you understand that they must be confused and unsettled at times.
I am not clear whether you were being assessed as potential kinship foster carers initially. You explain that the process was stopped, saying ‘this has now come to an end’, but I am not sure whether you mean that the weekend contacts came to an end – or that the assessments came to an end.
You may have been being assessed as kinship foster carers or a special guardianship assessment may have been started but then interrupted.
You can read about kinship foster carer assessments here.
You can read about special guardianship applications and assessments here.
The views of the children are crucial. It may help for the children to have independent advocacy support as it must be very difficult for them to talk to all the different adults involved about their wishes and feelings. You can read about children working with advocates here.
The parents of children in care under a court order retain parental responsibility but share this with the local authority. Obviously, the parents’ views are a very important factor also, and they should make their wishes known to the social worker and independent reviewing officer as soon as possible. They will be consulted as part of the special guardianship assessment, but they can raise the matter before that time. The parents and yourselves) should point out that under Section 22(C) of The Children Act (1989) local authorities must work to a priority order when children cannot live with parents. Non-family foster care should be turned to only when no suitable family or connected person placement can be found.
Before an application for an special guardianship order goes to court, the completed assessment report and support plan are often reviewed by a local authority panel (fostering or permanence panel). This panel evaluates the assessment and advises the director of children's services on the suitability of the placement and the proposed support package.
It is the family court that makes the final decision about the best outcome for the children not the local authority, so your argument that a family care option exists for the children will be considered even if the panel is negative.
Page 15 of the advice sheet on special guardianship applications gives details here. of how to find legal representation and organisations that support people who are representing themselves in court.
I hope this was of some help.
You can call our free, confidential adviceline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm) to speak in person with an adviser. We also have a webchat which is currently open on Monday and Thursday afternoons, and an advice enquiry form.
Best wishes,
Suzie
Thank you for your post and welcome to the kinship carers’ forum.
I am Suzie, an online adviser for Family Rights Group responding to you today.
I am sorry to hear about these difficult circumstances.
You explain that your grandchildren are living with foster parents, following the breakdown of their placement with their aunt. You mention care plan meetings – so it seems that the children are looked after under a care order.
You explain that you would have come forward as potential carers during the care proceedings, but your distance from the children’s school was seen as a negative factor and the children’s aunt was assessed as an alternative carer instead at that stage, When that arrangement did not work out the children were placed with non-family foster carers. Then children’s social care suggested that your offer to be assessed as potential carers be revisited. Your grandchildren were coming to you for weekend contact and you believed that this was going very well, but the looked after child reviews were negative about the arrangement. You point out that the children have had to cope with many different care arrangements, and you understand that they must be confused and unsettled at times.
I am not clear whether you were being assessed as potential kinship foster carers initially. You explain that the process was stopped, saying ‘this has now come to an end’, but I am not sure whether you mean that the weekend contacts came to an end – or that the assessments came to an end.
You may have been being assessed as kinship foster carers or a special guardianship assessment may have been started but then interrupted.
You can read about kinship foster carer assessments here.
You can read about special guardianship applications and assessments here.
The views of the children are crucial. It may help for the children to have independent advocacy support as it must be very difficult for them to talk to all the different adults involved about their wishes and feelings. You can read about children working with advocates here.
The parents of children in care under a court order retain parental responsibility but share this with the local authority. Obviously, the parents’ views are a very important factor also, and they should make their wishes known to the social worker and independent reviewing officer as soon as possible. They will be consulted as part of the special guardianship assessment, but they can raise the matter before that time. The parents and yourselves) should point out that under Section 22(C) of The Children Act (1989) local authorities must work to a priority order when children cannot live with parents. Non-family foster care should be turned to only when no suitable family or connected person placement can be found.
Before an application for an special guardianship order goes to court, the completed assessment report and support plan are often reviewed by a local authority panel (fostering or permanence panel). This panel evaluates the assessment and advises the director of children's services on the suitability of the placement and the proposed support package.
It is the family court that makes the final decision about the best outcome for the children not the local authority, so your argument that a family care option exists for the children will be considered even if the panel is negative.
Page 15 of the advice sheet on special guardianship applications gives details here. of how to find legal representation and organisations that support people who are representing themselves in court.
I hope this was of some help.
You can call our free, confidential adviceline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm) to speak in person with an adviser. We also have a webchat which is currently open on Monday and Thursday afternoons, and an advice enquiry form.
Best wishes,
Suzie
Who is online
In total there are 3 users online :: 1 registered, 0 hidden and 2 guests (based on users active over the past 1 minute)
Most users ever online was 104 on Wed Jul 01, 2026 3:53 am