Predujice SW and lies about me in my SRO

[Special_A91]

Evening,

So I had been arrested on suspicion of possessing incident images, I was given a NFA as they found no evidence on my devices.
Instead what they have done is applied for an SRO, it took me a few days to read through it and I haven't been able to look at it since.
The police officers have made almost 100% "my opinion is" statements to class me as a very high risk to all children. They have also used my attempt to be a good dad, such as being involved in things she wants to do extracurricularly.
Social services first removed all contact for 4 weeks during the start of bail, and we were told that if there is an NFA then we can start the process of me returning home, they even offered to support that. Instead since the NFA the SW has made it as hard as possible to see my child, my wife can no longer supervise even though we had no issues with it during bail. She has tried to say that I have chosen my particular Uni course as a way of learning how to get away with it, even though I started the course before we had our child.
The SW has been trying to strong arm my wife into having a divorce by constantly mentioning a Child Protection Plan and possible losing our child to care. She has claimed that the threshold for an SRO is very high and therefore I should have very limited contact with my child, even though during bail she completed an assessment and there was no signs of anything happening to my child, because I haven't done anything to my child.
The initial intelligence is a bit dubious, during the time they said the crime occurred I had a particular device, they have had that device and have not been able to match the device ID with the time period, they can't guarantee that I have done anything, the police have stated they feel that it's more likely than not, but they have no actual evidence they can directly link to any of my devices.

I just feel like that everything I have done to be a good dad, such as doing as much as possible with my child and learning to be able to provide a better life has all been used and turned negative to give them a reason to grant an order. They have used all the good things in my life to make me out to be a monster, I can't understand how it they feel that I am that much of a risk then why have the gone for the SRO and not the more severe order.

My mental health during this time has been awful, I have had parts of a suicide plan set up, such as stashing medication. After the NFA I gave it all to my wife as the Police said I could go home and I was feeling happy and hopeful. My wife is also pregnant and the SW is trying her best to ensure I have as little contact with my first Son as possible.

The SW has refused to request me a adult support worker who can help advocate for me so I have gone to the advocate service myself and I am waiting for a response for them, I also haven't heard from my public solicitor since the NFA and have chased them up, but I just don't know what to do, I am prepared to get my own place and jump through the hoops they set, but i feel like i am fighting a losing battle.

The SW has lied to both me and my wife throughout, she says one thing to us during meetings and then when the same thing is said via email(so it's logged) she waters it down and acts much more reasonable. The police told me that the SRO would be for 6-12 months, but I also noticed that they requested 3 years.

I don't really know how to finish this or what to ask for, but I am hoping that someone here can give advice/support or signpost me on the right direction.

Thanks.

[Skysie98]

I can't give you much advice but I can give you hope. My partner was on the sor for 10 years comes off in 2.

We went through hell with social services.
I did unfortunately lose my daughter to the system for 18 months.

However she is now home and my partners contact is increasing regularly and he's moving back in over a year.
It's taken a long fight but worth it to be a family for our little one.

It's not easy social do tend to blow things up but also don't listen to you or trust you.


All I can say is keep fighting for you little ones and contact with them.

You could consult a family law solicitor to ask for advice.

I hope suzie can help a bit more.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Evening,

So I had been arrested on suspicion of possessing incident images, I was given a NFA as they found no evidence on my devices.
Instead what they have done is applied for an SRO, it took me a few days to read through it and I haven't been able to look at it since.
The police officers have made almost 100% "my opinion is" statements to class me as a very high risk to all children. They have also used my attempt to be a good dad, such as being involved in things she wants to do extracurricularly.
Social services first removed all contact for 4 weeks during the start of bail, and we were told that if there is an NFA then we can start the process of me returning home, they even offered to support that. Instead since the NFA the SW has made it as hard as possible to see my child, my wife can no longer supervise even though we had no issues with it during bail. She has tried to say that I have chosen my particular Uni course as a way of learning how to get away with it, even though I started the course before we had our child.
The SW has been trying to strong arm my wife into having a divorce by constantly mentioning a Child Protection Plan and possible losing our child to care. She has claimed that the threshold for an SRO is very high and therefore I should have very limited contact with my child, even though during bail she completed an assessment and there was no signs of anything happening to my child, because I haven't done anything to my child.
The initial intelligence is a bit dubious, during the time they said the crime occurred I had a particular device, they have had that device and have not been able to match the device ID with the time period, they can't guarantee that I have done anything, the police have stated they feel that it's more likely than not, but they have no actual evidence they can directly link to any of my devices.

I just feel like that everything I have done to be a good dad, such as doing as much as possible with my child and learning to be able to provide a better life has all been used and turned negative to give them a reason to grant an order. They have used all the good things in my life to make me out to be a monster, I can't understand how it they feel that I am that much of a risk then why have the gone for the SRO and not the more severe order.

My mental health during this time has been awful, I have had parts of a suicide plan set up, such as stashing medication. After the NFA I gave it all to my wife as the Police said I could go home and I was feeling happy and hopeful. My wife is also pregnant and the SW is trying her best to ensure I have as little contact with my first Son as possible.

The SW has refused to request me a adult support worker who can help advocate for me so I have gone to the advocate service myself and I am waiting for a response for them, I also haven't heard from my public solicitor since the NFA and have chased them up, but I just don't know what to do, I am prepared to get my own place and jump through the hoops they set, but i feel like i am fighting a losing battle.

The SW has lied to both me and my wife throughout, she says one thing to us during meetings and then when the same thing is said via email(so it's logged) she waters it down and acts much more reasonable. The police told me that the SRO would be for 6-12 months, but I also noticed that they requested 3 years.

I don't really know how to finish this or what to ask for, but I am hoping that someone here can give advice/support or signpost me on the right direction.

Thanks.

Dear Special_A91

Thank you for your post and welcome to our Parents Forum.

Firstly, may I apologise for the delay in responding to your post.

In your post you ask for information about the involvement of children’s services and perhaps about the Sexual Risk Order (see page 55 of this Home Office guidance). Unlock might be able to help, support and advise you about the SRO, the Lucy Faithfull Foundation may be helpful too.

Children’s services departments work to safeguard children and are concerned about risk (harm) and though you have not been convicted or charged for an offence the police and the court ‘consider’ that you pose a risk of harm. The SRO may not as you say ‘seem severe’, nevertheless it ‘does’ cause concern and you have said that it will not be discharged for three years (you can of course appeal that decision) breaching the Order however, will or may lead to being charged with a criminal offence.

You were not clear whether there was a child protection plan in place but have said that the social worker has ‘threatened’ your family with one. From what you write your contact has been limited and you are an expectant father (congratulations). It may be wise for you and your wife to discuss ‘new’ or updated arrangements for contact with your children and perhaps agree a working agreement or ask the social worker for another assessment.

I am sorry to read that the whole process has been emotionally difficult for you. Mind the mental health charity may be able to help and support, the NHS has helpful information on their website too.

You have said that you have asked for the help of an advocate, here is our guide to working with advocates, we have a guide about working with social workers, here is a link to it. I hope the guides will be useful.

Best wishes
Suzie

[Special_A91]

Hi Suzie,

Thank you for the reply, so over the last few weeks it's been confirmed that our daughter is under a 'child in need' plan.

The SRO also has an update, with the police solicitor offering to remove all contact restrictions as they feel there is no evidence to suggest I am a risk if I have contact with anyone U18 (both quoted from the police solicitor and my protection officer) we agreed to an interim order for 6 months where they can track my devices.

Getting hold of the social worker has been almost impossible for me and my wife, I have had only two conversations with her in nearly 4 months and they were the TAF meetings, she has ignored any other contact from myself.

I have looked into the procedures of a child in need and the assessment to come to that conclusion and based on that the SW has some things, for example, they haven't spoken with my daughter about anything other than the when they did the safe touch book with her, they haven't spoken to me before the assessment and have not included other important family members.
The TAF meetings also haven't been conducted in the manner set out in the procedures they are meant to follow, such as the family agreeing who chairs the meetings having important information that I could only provide if the social worker actually spoke to me or the needs and wants of my daughter.

Thanks