So many lies

[Augh]

I wrote a few days ago about a section 47 investigation. Today we had the initial child protection conference, my god, the lies were shocking!

My daughter is currently 39+6 weeks pregnant so the stress of this has been huge. We have seen every professional going, midwife, health visitor, psychiatric, care coordinator and so on in the past week. Its been exhausting for me so God knows how my daughter has coped.

The lies started as soon as the report arrived, less than 24 hours before the conference,and didn't stop until it was over.

The social worker lied saying she'd gained informed consent to carry out a section 17. My daughter had no idea what the intervention was and was told the consent was to speak to her care coordinator. Then she lied about me, stating that she believed I'd obstructed a visit. What happened was that I asked to change it to the next working day because i had a focal migraine. She refused and demanded the visit take place. I got upset because I was really unwell and she accused me of shouting at her. She when on to accuse me of being "extremely disregulated" and "emotionally unstable". She claimed that she believes my daughter has no autonomy and I am coercive because my daughter declined a mother and baby unit. She accused me of telling another professional that if they wanted to speak to my daughter they'd have to go through me in future. What I actually said was if they wanted to speak to my daughter to maintain her rights she should be seen either with a family member or an independent advocate because I didn't feel she fully understands the process she's being subjected to. My daughter is high functioning autistic and she really didn't get what was happening until she got the report. She also didn't explain the section 47 process or section 17. She was over friendly and in my opinion unprofessional. She also accused me of not taking care of my emotional wellbeing and turning all the conversations onto myself, stating I have no focas on my grandson. To be honest it seems she just doesn't like me and didn't like the fact I am focased on ensuring my daughter is properly supported and informed because it makes her job harder.

The health visitor claimed that I was disregulated when she visited yesterday because during the visit I started to get another aura migraine during the visit. I could barely talk let alone disregulate, infact I had to go and lie down because I felt so unwell and when I got back up I had to cover my eyes because of the light.

The midwife lied,claiming that my daughter did not follow instructions to go to maternity triage to arrange a c-section. What actually happened was we were advised, by her, to call first so we did and was told to come on Monday. We went on Monday and after a 4.5 hour wait we were sent away again. When we called prior to visiting we explained the reason we were coming and were told there was always a doctor there so it didn't matter what time we came. We arrived at 6pm and the midwife claimed we got there at 10.30pm. For this reason alone the midwife stated it met the freshhold for a protection plan on the grounds of neglect.

They claimed there was social worker involvement when there never has been.

My grandson was placed on a protection plan. I'm not to worried about the plan itself as its everything the baby will need to keep him healthy and safe. What does concern me is the sheer amount of lies so even if we fully comply they aren't going to be honest about it.

I've recently come through the court system as a complainant of historical abuse 3 months ago. The social worker knew this and even that was used negatively. She show little regard about it,infact she has been completely insensitive about it. She is seems to think I focased to much on it. As I said, my abuser was only sentenced three months ago. She's horrific!

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Augh

Thank you for your further post, you were asked to post on the kinship discussion forum as you are a grandmother and not a parent, but you have again posted on the parent’s discussion forum. It is best to post on the correct forum as the support you receive from other posters is based on their own experiences as grandparents or other extended family members.

In your current post you have raised several issues which you refer to as lies being told by professionals. If your daughter has any concerns about the pre-birth child protection conference, then she can raise these with the chair. I can understand your concerns for your daughter and your unborn grandchild but going forward she will need to show that she is able to work with professionals. Children’s services should, due to her additional needs, make reasonable adjustments when working with her.

I am not able to comment on what professionals have concluded or said since I do not know the whole case.

You were given a very comprehensive response to your first post and my suggestion is that you go through this taking account of the links provided. I think this will be helpful for you and your daughter in working with children’s services.

The child protection plan which you say you have no issues with is there to ensure the baby’s safety before and after birth. If this plan is not adhered to children’s services is likely to escalate the case which is likely to mean an application to the court. If they are granted an interim care order then they would share parental responsibility with your daughter and would be able to make decisions for and about the baby including where the baby lives.

I see that your daughter did not take up the offer of a mother and baby unit and children’s services are of the view that this may be because you did not support it. Whilst I understand your wish to support your daughter, she will need to be assessed on her ability to safely parent her baby.

If your daughter has a learning difficulty and needs extra support the link below explains how the way information should be shared to help her understand. This is the link for the working together with parents’ network WTPN

I hope you will find this and the other links already given helpful. It is important for your daughter to work with children’s services and other professionals to get the best outcome for her and her baby.

You or your daughter can contact us by telephoning our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3.00pm Monday to Friday (excluding Bank Holidays)

Best wishes

Suzie

[Augh]

My daughter is very high functioning and doesnt have learning difficulites, neurodiversity isnt a learning difficulty. That part has already been established. There are no concerns in that respect
Although, she does need help in reading situations like with the social worker. She had no idea that she'd signed a consent form for a section 17. This was predominantly because the social worker didn't tell her what she was doing and told her that the consent form was to speak to her care coordinator, as no point did she mention the section 17. My daughter has engaged fully with the social worker and all other professionals. We had a chat with her midwife yesterday and she said its a better safe than sorry approach. She said the terminology of the ICPC is very arbitrary and makes the concerns sound so much more significant than she knows they are.

The mother and baby unit was not suggested to assess her parenting skills. It was to move her away from my son who was the cause for concern. He no longer lives with us so theres no need for it.

I have asked them to offer a advocate to protect her parental rights and mentioned the equalities act. That was interpreted me saying all professionals should go through me and passed as fact. I didn't say anything of the sort

Since writing the above post several professionals have raised concerns about the social worker, she has been removed from the case, thankfully! After the ICPC even the chair told my daughter to go and enjoy her son, live her live and that she expects the plan to be brief as my grandson is clearly coming into a loving family and she does not anticipate further issues.

Its been frightening because no matter what we said to this social worker, it was misquoted,taken out of context and she made things up.

Hopefully the new social worker with be a bit more honest and less aggressive.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

My daughter is very high functioning and doesnt have learning difficulites, neurodiversity isnt a learning difficulty. That part has already been established. There are no concerns in that respect
Although, she does need help in reading situations like with the social worker. She had no idea that she'd signed a consent form for a section 17. This was predominantly because the social worker didn't tell her what she was doing and told her that the consent form was to speak to her care coordinator, as no point did she mention the section 17. My daughter has engaged fully with the social worker and all other professionals. We had a chat with her midwife yesterday and she said its a better safe than sorry approach. She said the terminology of the ICPC is very arbitrary and makes the concerns sound so much more significant than she knows they are.

The mother and baby unit was not suggested to assess her parenting skills. It was to move her away from my son who was the cause for concern. He no longer lives with us so theres no need for it.

I have asked them to offer a advocate to protect her parental rights and mentioned the equalities act. That was interpreted me saying all professionals should go through me and passed as fact. I didn't say anything of the sort

Since writing the above post several professionals have raised concerns about the social worker, she has been removed from the case, thankfully! After the ICPC even the chair told my daughter to go and enjoy her son, live her live and that she expects the plan to be brief as my grandson is clearly coming into a loving family and she does not anticipate further issues.

Its been frightening because no matter what we said to this social worker, it was misquoted,taken out of context and she made things up.

Hopefully the new social worker with be a bit more honest and less aggressive.

Dear Augh,

Thank you for your further post. I will reply here, but can I ask you once again to post on the Kinship Carers’ Forum in future as a grandparent.

I would advise that your daughter seeks clarity as to why a mother and baby placement was recommended. This is an expensive and scarce resource so it is unlikely to have been discussed solely because of a need for alternative accommodation, and it is important that she is aware of why it was suggested.

You explain that your daughter does not have learning difficulties – she has high functioning autism. She may find the resources on the Autistic Parents UK website useful here. Information for autistic parents on pregnancy, birth and beyond is here.
Your daughter can also search for advocacy services on the autism services directory here.
You mention that your daughter needs help in reading situations and this effects her interactions with the social worker. There is a guide to working with social workers here that may be useful.

Family Rights Group have a template letter that your daughter could use to request provision of an advocate by children’s services her . Please look at Letter 1.
A guide to working with an advocate is here.
I hope that your daughter finds this information useful when you pass it on and that her working relationship with the new social worker has started well.
There are many different ways for your daughter contact Family Rights Group and she may find it useful to speak to an adviser herself or contact us in one of the ways outlined below.

• A free telephone advice line open Monday to Friday between 9.30am and 3pm (excluding Bank Holidays) on 0808 801 0366
• Easy-to-follow online information. Features include an A-Z, FAQs, films, ‘top tips’ and legal advice sheets;
• Online forums where families can receive advice, discuss issues, and find support;
• A webchat service where you can message an adviser online, who will help you find information and advice to support you.

Best wishes,
Suzie

[Augh]

Don't worry, this is my last post on this forum.

The new social worker has lifted all restrictions on my son's presence in our home and plans to step down the CP at the next conference. She was bemused at the original social workers assessment of our family and plans to reverse the whole thing.