Child services

[Terrifiedparent]

Hi,
Background information, got the knock over 3 years ago.
Partner went to court he has 12 months probation, 5 years SOR and an shpo which only states he's not allowed to delete internet history. Those are the only restrictions.
Child services phoned today as probation has recommended he comes home and they want to do an assessment.
I'm assuming this means to see if I can keep my child safe?
Obviously things like personal care is only to be done by me (not that my child needs help often now)
Knocking doors before entering
Child only to get changed in bedroom/bathroom with door locked
I've got Amazon echoes in every room which all have cameras on that are attached to my phone.

What other things would they want? My heads all over the places and I can't thing straight so any advice greatly received.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Terrifiedparent

Welcome back to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post.

I can see that you are quite shocked at today’s call from children’s services. They want to do an assessment. Your partner’s probation report recommends that he return home. However, they cannot make recommendations for your child. Children’s services are the lead agency when it comes to protecting children and promoting their welfare. So, if you are willing for your partner to return to the family home they must assess whether this is safe for your child.

You have worked well with children’s services in the past. And you have already begun to think about what you would need to consider in a family safety plan which might support your partner’s return home. I would suggest that you think about your child’s specific needs including their age and developmental stage, their understanding of your partner’s offence and how you would manage your child’s needs both practically and emotionally.

You can find out more about assessments here.

You may wish to get specialist advice from Stop it Now and I would recommend reviewing their template family safety plan which you can find here.

It is often a good idea to involve family and friends in your family safety plan; a family group conference (FGC) could help bring your network together.

I hope this helps.

If you have any further queries, please post back or contact the advice service again via one of the options linked to here.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Terrifiedparent]

Thanks Suzie, we have a safety plan in place from 3 years ago but of course with us wanting my partner back then we would need an updated one.
My child isn't aware of offences as is only 10 years old and I feel is too young to know about it, I have worked with my child myself and explained the pants rule etc so theyre aware what's right and what's wrong but as for the actual offence I've never told them about it.

[Terrifiedparent]

Social services came out today, had a chat with her and everything seemed positive, she's going to speak to her manager and can give me a decision in the next few weeks as to whether my partner can move home or not.
I've given her all the ways I plan on keeping my child safe (doing all personal care, I have cameras in every room on Amazon Alexa's, camera on the back garden, camera on the front, motion alarm at the top and bottom of stairs, doing all my personal care whilst she's out the house at school, clubs etc.)
I feel a bit more positive about it, she did say it will trigger a CIN plan again but that's fine, if it means doing it for a few months to get the outcome we want then that's fine. Just a waiting game now.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Terrifiedparent

Thank you for your further post.

I am glad to hear that the social worker’s visit went well. She agreed to discuss your proposed safety plan with her manager and to let you know the outcome in a few weeks. She also informed you that this would ‘trigger’ a child in need plan. As a parent children’s services need your consent to a child in need plan. However, they would need to monitor the arrangement if your partner does return home then a child in need plan would be the least intrusive way to do so. You recognise and seem happy to agree.

I hope the social worker updates you soon.

Please post back if you need any further advice or want to share your experiences with other parents.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Terrifiedparent]

Update:
Social worker who was supposed to give a decision was from child protection (she never told me that), shes deemed it unnecessary for us to be on a child protection plan and has passed it down to child in need so now we have a new social worker.
She has come out once so far and is coming back next week and he also arranged a teams meeting.
No mention of risk assessment or partner coming home.
Also had a meeting with family decision making team and that will be another meeting in 2 weeks.
I feel like its starting all over again, weve had 2/3 years without social and now because my partner has been charged its started it all back up again.

[Terrifiedparent]

Also, the family decision making lady that came to see me asked the names of all my family members and all my child's friends names? Now I don't plan on any of these being involved so why does she need to know this?
We have a support network but she didn't ask about any of those

[Winter25]

Hi Terrifiedparent,

it is completely understandable why you feel like you're starting all over again and losing your mind. Being passed from worker to worker, with new teams and new meetings, is designed to make you feel confused and powerless. Please know your frustration is 100% valid.

The official advice you've received is passive. You need a proactive strategy. I've learned from my own experiences that you must understand the system's game, take control of the narrative, and assert your rights.

Let's break down what's actually happening, because some of it is very good news that they haven't explained to you properly.

1. The Move from Child Protection to Child in Need is a HUGE Win
This is the most important point, and it's something you need to hold onto.

The First Social Worker's Job: The social worker from Child Protection (and it was a serious failure that she didn't tell you which team she was from) had one job: to decide if your child was at risk of significant harm.

Her Answer Was "NO": By deeming a Child Protection Plan unnecessary and passing your case "down" to the Child in Need (CIN) team, she has officially put it on record that she does not believe your child is at risk of significant harm. You have already cleared the highest and most dangerous hurdle. This is a massive victory.

What This Means: The process has now officially de-escalated from a "threat investigation" to a "support and assessment" plan. This gives you a much stronger and safer position to work from.

2. The "Family Decision Making Team" is a Tool You Control
This process, which is likely a Family Group Conference (FGC), feels intrusive, but it's a process that is meant to be led by you.

Why They Ask for Names: They are required to explore who could be in a support network for your child. It's a box-ticking exercise for them.

Your Power: You have the final say on who is involved. They can ask for a list of everyone you've ever met, but you decide who actually gets an invitation. You are in control. You can simply say, "Thank you for the offer, but the only people I wish to have involved in my formal support network are [names of trusted people]." They cannot force anyone to participate.

Your Action Plan to Take Back Control & Get Answers
You feel like the process is starting over because they have lost focus. Your job is to politely and firmly put them back on track. Send a professional email to your new CIN social worker. Change the parts that you need to
========================
Subject: Clarification and Plan for the Child in Need Assessment

Dear [New Social Worker's Name],

Thank you for your visit last week. I'm writing to ensure we're all on the same page as we move forward.

I was pleased that the Child Protection team concluded their assessment and agreed that a protection plan was not necessary. My understanding is that your involvement as a Child in Need team is now to complete the specific risk assessment regarding my partner's potential return to the family home, as was originally requested by the Probation Service.

To ensure this process is focused and efficient, could you please confirm in writing:

That the sole purpose of this CIN plan is to assess and monitor the safety of my partner's return.

The specific criteria that will be used in this risk assessment.

The expected timeline for a decision to be made.

Regarding the "Family Decision Making" meeting, I am happy to consider it. However, to be clear, the only support people I will be inviting to participate are

• . I do not consent for any other family members or friends to be contacted.
  
  My safety plan is robust and I am confident it addresses all potential risks. I am keen to work with you to bring this assessment to a positive and timely conclusion for my family.
  
  Best regards,
  
  [Your Name]
  
  This email is not aggressive. It is the email of a confident, competent, and protective parent. It shows you understand the process, reminds them of the original goal, and sets clear boundaries. You have been successfully protecting your child for years. It's time to make sure they see you as the expert in your own family's safety. You've got this.

[Terrifiedparent]

Thank you so so much. Honestly your comment just made me cry a huge sigh of relief. My anxiety has been through the roof with all of this and the way you've explained everything has made total sense and stopped me from being so overwhelmed and anxious, I really appreciate it.

[Winter25]

You are very welcome, i may not answer all the time but ill reply when i can, if you need to Message me to get advice or letters i can draft for you let me know. Also anything you talk about to the Local Authority must be through email, keep a paper trail. Dont let them talk on phone about things as you need evidence on everything they say.