Pregnant

[Lookingtomoveon]

Hi all,
After some advice. 4/5 years ago I had to call the police on my own daughter. Previous to this I had been trying for two years to get her mental health help. She was incredibly violent towards myself mainly but all adults working the family not just home. She had then began to target her siblings. I had previously spoken to early help and tried to refer myself into social services but neither were interested. Camhs also gave her a diagnosis after a 20 minute chat then told us there was no funding for therapies for this diagnosis so they could provide no further help! When she tried to put a kettle of boiling hot water over me I called 999. Social services came out spoke to the family and decided only my eldest daughter would go onto a child in need plan. Arranged respite. Child then refused to go back after first visit violence became worse. As my other children were in danger I asked for a section 20 so my child could go into a therapeutic placement. Long story short, after many attempts at reuniting the family and get my daughter home all which she refused and then a psychologist assessment which recommended she would be a danger to any other children living in the same home it was decided by all involved she could not come home nor stay in the foster care placement with younger children. I was advised a full care order would be needed to house her adequately until 18. I agreed as there was no way she could return home with three younger siblings. I didn’t have a bad experience with SS. They got my daughter the help she needed and she’s now thriving. SS never had any involvement with my other children bad an assessment during the court process as the judge wanted to be sure nothing untoward in the home was causing these issues. All passed with no issues at at all. Fast forward four years and I find myself unexpectedly pregnant. Self referred into midwifery services today and the only question asked bar the usual health questions was have you ever had any SS involvement. Gave a brief discription as the box was tiny but will elaborate when I have a face to face. Will this trigger a referral and do you think it will just be a phone call or an assessment again… I think it’s the hormones and to be honest I’m still in shock at the pregnancy (was told I wouldn’t ever be able to get pregnant again) that’s just really set my anxiety off. Thank you for reading this far!

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Lookingtomoveon

Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for your post.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group and I will respond to your post today.

From your post, I see that you are very concerned about the possible outcome with children’s services having confirmed to the midwife that you had previous children's services involvement. The worry is that this will trigger a referral to children's services and what that might mean for you and your unborn baby and wider family.

Here is information about procedures followed by children's services when they received a referral.


The previous involvement that you describe in your post related primarily to you seeking help and support your daughter who was violent towards you and others. After a very long struggle to get your daughter the help she needed you agreed to a care order which ensured that your daughter received the correct help, and she is now ‘thriving’. This, I believe, a testament to you wanting to do your best to ensure your daughter’s safety and wellbeing.

There were no concerns about your parenting or our ability to keep your other children safe. Children’s services were not concerned about them except to ensure their violent sibling did not return home as recommended.

Whilst I understand your worry regarding a referral, I must be open with you, that a referral will be made to children’s services, this is automatic where there has been previous involvement. However, I do not believe that children’s services will have any safeguarding concerns about your unborn baby based on involvement with your daughter. A social worker will contact you to discuss your current situation and a decision made about whether they need to remain involved. If there are no safeguarding concerns the case may be closed. Alternatively, a pre-birth assessment might be carried out and at that stage a decision made regarding any future involvement. Children’s services will consider their previous involvement before deciding on any future involvement. You may find it helpful to read advice/information on our website pages for parents to be

From what you have said in your post about their previous involvement with your family, it iseems unlikely that they will have concerns about your ability to safely care for your baby.

Should you wish to speak with one of our experienced advisers, you can telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3.00pm Monday to Friday. You can also contact us using our web enquiry form or webchat. Of course, if you prefer to post you can post again.

Best wishes,

Suzie