Social worker won't return calls but says I'm not engaging

[Grimysparks]

Hi.
I have 3 children aged 2 7 and 14

We came to ss attention after my wife struggled with mental health problems and behaved badly falling the death of our 5 week old son a few years ago.
We were in child protection fir several months before the case was closed.

Our oldest daughter (14) suffers from mental health problems. She has a missing chromosome which is linked to autism and mental health problems.
Since the first lockdiwn she has refused to attend school or engage with any adult other than myself or her mum. I have repeatedly asked for professional help with her. I did not want to be taken off child in need as I felt we had more chance of getting help fir her uf we had a social worker.

After 2 years of no school and a year working with a family first practioner we have a social worker again.

She has raised us to child protection on grounds of neglect as my daughter refuses to see any health professional s ir attend school so herneeds are not being met. She told me at the time that having the xase at child protection would give her more clout with finding help for us.

During the summer holidays my now ex wife took our 2 youngest to wales for half of the holidays. Then I took them to stay with my parents for the other half.

The oldest daughter did not want to go away so was looked after at home by myself or my ex while the other was away.

We made arrangements for the 2 little ones to be seen by a Welsh social worker as they must be seen every 2 weeks.

Unfortunately our social worker back home has not responded to our efforts to arrange a visit with her fir the older child and is saying in her report to conference that we have not engaged with her or allowed her to see our oldest daughter.

I have tried to phone her on 7 sewerage occasions through the summer holiday with no answer ir return call.
I have also texted her 3 times asking her to get in touch.

She visited unnanounced twice in the holidays. The first time we were out. She put a note through the door and we called and texted her as soon as we got back but no response.
The second time she came while I was away at 9 am.my wife was in and answered the door. She asked if the social worker could come back later as our daughter was still asleep. They arranged to return at 3 but didn't show up. No call or message and no answer to our calls.
The social worker has told conference we are not engaging and is now seeking legal and police advice.

I have said this is not true and offered to show conference my phone records and those of my wife showing unanswered calls and texts.
The chair said that was not necessary and they did not want to get bogged down on this.

But it is still on the report that we are not engaging.

Every other professional at the conference has been vlear that we are not avoiding them and they have all been able to arrange visits and work with us. I have a very good relationship with school nurse. School welfare officer health visitor etc.

I am really upset that the social worker is whisking to her story that I am nor engaging.

I'd welcome any advice please

[Panny]

Never communicate with social workers other than in writing. I only communicate via email, and it is unbelievable how much they still lie. I have multiple complaints open, the only one completed so far was upheld, which would have been impossible to do if I didn't have the proof in the emails. These people are so accustomed to lying and gaslighting, they still manage to do it on record!

[KatKat10]

I am with Panny on this one. I have phone logs, text messages and emails so I have a record of all engagement.
Grimysparks, send the evidence to the legal Team, don't ask if you should send it, just do it. Contact the Independent review officer etc, as this will raise a red flag against the social worker. Yes they all club together and protect each other, but in cases where it is obvious the SW is telling lies, they will detach themselves as they don't want to go down with the sinking ship. Make sure your legal advisor has copies of all the correspondence as this will help if the case goes to court.

My tip is to be assertive!
KK10

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Grimysparks

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. I am sorry to hear of the difficulties you and your family are experiencing and that there has been a delay in responding to you.

First of all, I am very sorry for the loss of your baby boy some years ago. I hope that you and your family were offered support and counselling and that you are still able to access support as and when you need it. There are some links to bereavement support here.

Your children are currently on a child protection plan which seems to be because of the needs of your eldest daughter who has mental health difficulties and is not attending school or engaging with professionals such as health workers. From what you say, you have been actively seeking support for your daughter and argued for ongoing social work involvement. However, the matter is now being treated as child protection under the category of Neglect.

It seems that the social worker has not been successful in seeing your eldest daughter over the summer period when she remained at home (cared for by either you or her mother) while the younger children were either on holiday in Wales or staying with their paternal grandparents. You explained that the children were seen in Wales by Welsh social workers as the child protection plan requires fortnightly social work visits. It is good that this happened – although you arranged it, their social worker in England should have notified the Welsh or other English authority that children who are on a child protection plan were in their area.

The problem you have raised is that the social worker did not manage to see your older daughter at home during this period and she is attributing this to you and your wife not engaging and not allowing her to see your child. The social worker has also stated that they are seeking legal and police advice.

You have set out very clearly the attempts that you made to communicate with the social worker over this period in order to arrange a planned visit. Most child protection plans will include both planned and unannounced visits. You provide details of the texts you sent and are happy to provide your and your ex-wife’s phone records showing the contact you made. You have also set out what happened during the two unannounced visits including the second visit where it was agreed for the social worker to return at 3 pm when your daughter would be awake. However this did not happen.

I can see that it is frustrating that you were not able to present your response fully at the conference as the Chair did not want to get drawn into the specifics. It must also be upsetting to be described as not engaging when you feel that you are, and that your engagement with other professionals supports this view.

Some other parents have responded to your post with advice based on their perspectives and experiences. However, some of the advice may not be helpful or appropriate to your situation. Therefore, I will set out what I suggest will hopefully allow you to challenge constructively and make sure that your account of the situation is acknowledged but what will also allow you to continue to work in partnership with children’s services and the core group of professionals involved with your family. This is vital if you are working towards the child protection plan coming to an end.

We have some tips for working with social workers here which may be useful for you too. You may also find this charter of mutual expectations to be a helpful guide to working with children’s services. You could also signpost children's services to it too as a reminder of how they should work with you.

You can:

• Provide a brief written chronological summary of the attempted contacts made/missed unannounced visits/failed follow up visits etc to your social worker and the Chair and ask that this be attached to the child protection conference minutes and distributed to the core group.
• Confirm in writing that you continue to be willing and able to cooperate with statutory social work visits under the child protection plan and then allow the social worker to visit at home.
• Reiterate that you have been able to demonstrate a good working relationship with a number of professionals involved with your children (school nurse, health visitor etc). Ask that also be added to the minutes and circulated.
• Ask the social worker to clarify on what basis she is seeking advice from the police – to carry out a welfare visit or is she concerned that a crime may have been committed?
• Ask the social worker to confirm to you in writing the outcome of their legal planning meeting.
• You can consider if you wish to make a complaint because of your concerns about the social worker not replying to your messages and if you are worried that they have misrepresented the situation. The purpose would be to ensure that information about your family is accurate. You can find out more about complaints here. If you do make a complaint though you will still need to cooperate with the child protection plan as this will continue.

It is a good idea to ask your social worker to clarify key information in writing and it can also be a good idea to email after a meeting to set out your understanding of what was agreed or what actions will follow. However, it is not advisable to communicate only in writing; it is much better to meet social workers in person too and in particular to allow children under a child protection plan to see and talk to their social workers. If you do not do so then children’s services would have a valid reason to state that you are not engaging with them.

Similarly, the usual protocol is for solicitors to correspond with local authority legal services rather than individuals. If children’s services decided to go into a pre-proceedings process following their legal planning meeting then you will be entitled to legal aid to have a solicitor to assist you. They will correspond with legal services on your behalf, if needed.

I hope that you find this helpful.

If you would like to talk your situation through with an adviser please call our freephone advice line on 0808 801 0366; the lines are open from 9.30 am to 3.00 pm, Monday to Friday. If you have a new or follow up query you can of course post back on this board.

Best wishes

Suzie