Need advice about social services!

[Tyty6]

Hi! I had a domestic incident with my ex partner. He’s on remand, awaiting a trial. We have a baby together so ss we’re involved. Case is closed now, no further action taken. I want to drop the charges for a while now but police and ss pressure me to not doing it. Been told before by my sw if i do it she’ll put my kids on child protection plan. She also lied and twisted things around in my report. If I correct my report, will she reopen my case? Can she legally put my kids on child protection plan?
My ex assaulted me while under drug and alcohol influence. Few days before we also found out about disability of our baby, we were under a lot of stress. He would never do it while sober. I know it’s not excuse but she made in a report as he’s a monster.

[KatKat10]

Get legal advice, get a solicitor who is specialized in child law. Do not make excuses for your partners behavior. Your children need to come first. If you drop the charges they will see this as weakness and denial and try to imply you have mental health issues.

They will then say your child is at risk if you allow your partner back into the home, they will seek to put your children on a Child Protection Plan or even apply to the courts for a interim care order.

[Tyty6]

Thanks for reply! Tried legal aid but everyone says different things. They did my assessment and there’s no issues at all and case is closed so how can they imply mental health issues?
I’m not taking him back. He’s going to prison even if I drop the charges. Can’t really understand what me dropping the charges got to do with social services? It’s between me and the police.

[benion]

You must not drop the charges. As KitKat says, this will be taken as weakness and a failure to protect.

Social services can and will put children on a child protection plan, or instigate care proceedings in cases of domestic violence. My experience of SS is that they do not do idle threats. I would take what they are saying very seriously.

Unfortunately the argument that he only gets violent when drunk, will just result in you digging a hole for yourself, as it implies your ex partner sometimes drinks to excess.

Since you have broken up with him, you do not owe him anything. Let him go to jail.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Tyty6,

Welcome to the parents forum and thank you for your post. I am sorry to hear that you were assaulted by your ex-partner and to hear about the difficulties that you have experienced recently. You have received some advice from Katkat10 and benion already but I hope that the following advice is also helpful to you.

Firstly, it would not be advisable to drop the charges against your ex-partner. Children’s services expect you to safeguard your children now and in future, and if you drop the charges this will raise questions about your capacity and willingness to do so. Dropping the charges may imply that you are minimising the assault and that you don’t accept the seriousness of it. Research shows that children who are exposed to domestic abuse incidents can be significantly impacted and can suffer long-term. You can find more information on our website HERE about children’s services involvement when there are concerns about domestic abuse.

The social worker cannot ‘put’ your children on a child protection plan however if there are concerns that your children are at risk of significant harm then children’s services have a duty to re-open the case and undertake child protection enquiries. This may lead to the social worker recommending a child protection plan and arranging for an initial child protection conference to be held. At this conference an independent chairperson will decide whether your children are at risk of suffering significant harm and whether they need to be placed on a child protection plan. You can find more about the child protection process on our website HERE.

I hope that you have been offered support in regard to the assault you experienced? If you did not then you may wish to have a look at our useful links HERE to find organisations that provide support and guidance to victims of domestic abuse.

You mention that you have recently found out that one of your children has a disability. Contact is an organisation that provides advice to families who have disabled children. They have a helpline on 0808 808 3555 that you may wish to contact for support.

I hope that the above has been of some help. If you would like any further advice then you can either post here again or call our free, confidential helpline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm) to speak with an adviser.

Best wishes,
Suzie