Concerns raised

[Mummabear79]

I had a visit from a social work last week, who said a concern had been raised by school regarding myself and partner arguing, our daughter had mentioned something, there is a history ot DV and a restraining order in place, which I did not want in the first place. He has been to the house stayed over ect. My family support worker at school has suggested that I now work with SS be open and honest, there is no risk assessments in place for him seeing our daughter or any restrictions, pls help

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Mummabear79

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. I am sorry to hear that you and your family are currently experiencing difficulties.

You have explained that children’s services have recently become involved following concerns raised by your daughter at school about you and your partner arguing. There is a background history of domestic abuse and a restraining order – is that a current order or one that has now expired? If it a current order then it would be a serious concern if that has been breached. You mention that you did not want the restraining order in place either which suggests that you did not consider what happened between you and your partner to be domestic abuse. You may find these FAQs for mothers on domestic abuse to be helpful. They include links to information about specialist services where you can discuss your relationship and get support and advice where needed.

The fact that your daughter mentioned some worries about arguments is significant. Witnessing arguments can be very distressing for a child but sometimes this is played down or overlooked.

You have now had a visit from a social worker so they will be doing an assessment. Please see here for information about how children’s services work with families and here for information about child in need assessments.

Your family support worker at school has given you sound advice. Please see these tips on working with a social worker which may help you to work openly and ask the social worker to communicate well with you too.

The social worker should make it clear to you what their recommendation is in relation to risk assessments and restrictions on contact. At the moment, the concern seems to be about verbal arguments but the history and the situation with the restraining order will need to be factored in too.

Please post back or call our freephone advice line if you have any further queries as the assessment progresses. The advice service is open Mon to Fri, from 9.30 am to 3.00 pm.

With best wishes

Suzie