I need help!

[2403]

Good morning,

I’m in a terrible situation. 2 weeks ago me and my husband had a terrible argument, he assaulted me and the neighbours called the police. We have a child who is 3 years old. He wasn’t with us that evening, he was with grandparents. My husband has been released on bail , but not charged. He is not allowed to stay with us at the moment ( bail conditions). Social services has been involved. My husband never been a danger to our child . I would like to continue to live with my husband. Can the social services remove my child from the family and force me to divorce? thank you

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear 2403,

Welcome to the parents’ forum and thank you for your post. I am sorry to hear about the extremely difficult situation that you are in and I hope that the following advice is of some help to you.

You ask whether children’s services can remove your child from the family home. Children’s services can only remove a child from their home if they are granted parental responsibility through a court order. Examples of these orders include an emergency protection order and an interim care order. It is also possible for police to remove a child from a family home for up to 72 hours under police protection if they feel that the child is at risk of significant harm at home.

From the information you have given it sounds as if your husband is not currently living at the family home. As long as he continues to comply with his bail conditions the risk to your child (and yourself) is reduced and therefore the likelihood that children’s services will feel it is necessary to make any applications to court to remove your child from your care is also reduced. It is important that you work as well as you can with the social worker and any other professionals involved. If the social worker is concerned that your child is at risk of harm then they should communicate their concerns with you and you should ask them to be clear about what it is that they are asking you to do to keep your child safe. We have a guide to working with social workers that might be helpful for you to read through. You can find this HERE.

You say that you would like to continue living with your husband. If his bail conditions are lifted then there would be nothing legally from stopping him returning to the family home. Children’s services have no legal jurisdiction to ‘force’ you either to divorce or to stop him from returning home. However it is very important that you fully understand what children’s services concerns are and you demonstrate that you are willing to work with them to ensure your child’s safety. Children’s services may wish to undertake a risk assessment on your husband, and they may wish to put a safety plan in place. If your husband does decide to return to the family home then it is extremely important that you inform the social worker before this happens, and that you are completely open and honest with them about this.

I am very sorry to hear that your husband physically assaulted you. This must have been very distressing for you. This act of violence would be classed as domestic abuse and you might find it beneficial to seek some support regarding this. We have a useful links page HERE with information and contact details for organisations that work with people who have experienced domestic abuse.

We have more information on our website HERE about children’s services involvement when there are concerns about domestic abuse. It might be particularly helpful for you to read our Domestic abuse FAQs for mothers HERE. You can also find information here about assessments when children’s services have concerns that a child might be at risk of harm.

I hope that this is of some help. Please do post again if you have any further queries or you can call our confidential adviceline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm) to speak with an adviser.

Best wishes,
Suzie