i have 4 older children 3 under care orders and 1 adopted last time I was pregnant was 2018 which led to adoption based on the fact she had been with the adopters too long.
i have since gone on to pass a placement with parent assessment for my 2nd child who is 10 and he is due home before january next year he also has some behavioural issues suspected autism and can become violent there is no issues with me managing him as obviously i have passed all assessments ect problem is i had a one night stand which has now led to me being pregnant and i have a lot of questions before i can make any decision about what i am going to do and no idea who to seek advice from without speaking to the social worker.
this might be my last chance to have a child as my son is time consuming due to all his challenging behaviours and issues and i dont want him to feel that i am pushing him away to have this child but i dont want to have this child if i will loose my weekends ect with my son as i have worked for the last 3 years to get to this point to prove significant changes i am due to graduate with a law degree and start my masters in september this year i am still single i own my home outright stable ect im scared they will remove at birth even though i have passed the placement with parents for a child with additional needs and im scared i will loose all the hard work i have done to get that far with my son as obviously the concerns that led to the removal no longer apply as he is due to return to my care full time.
just found out im pregnant
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4996
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: just found out im pregnant
Dear 123
Welcome back to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post.
Congratulations on passing your placement with parent assessment for your 10 year old son. The current plan is for him to return to your care in January. You have persevered to achieve this proposed outcome and have shown determination.
Congratulations on your pregnancy also. However, I can see that this has raised a lot of questions and uncertainty for you, which is understandable.
It is clear from the information provided that you have worked very hard and have overcome many challenges. You are trying to weigh up the consequences and consider how children’s services will work with you in relation to your unborn baby and your son’s planned return home.
Unfortunately, I cannot advise on your pregnancy or predict what will happen but hope that the information below will be useful to you.
If you would like help and advice to make the best decision for you in relation to your pregnancy options you can discuss with your GP or another GP at your practice, or one of the services listed on the NHS website or pregnancy advisory services.
If you are continuing with your pregnancy then letting your son’s social worker or children's’ services know or engaging with your midwife (who will refer to children’s services), as soon as possible, is a good idea. This allows time for assessments to be carried out. It is also important to work openly and honestly with professionals from the outset.
As you are aware, children’s services will likely want to do a pre-birth assessment as you have children who are no longer in your care. This assessment will look at the issues in the past which resulted in you being unable to care for the children. It will also look at your current situation. You have explained this is much improved. They will want to be sure that any of the issues that you experienced in the past such as domestic abuse or mental health difficulties are no longer impacting on you or your future care of a baby. They will also look at all that you have achieved more recently including the positive placement with parents assessment.
You can find out more about pre-birth assessments here.
The plan for your son’s return home was based on an assessment where you would only be caring for him not for a baby as well. You mention that your son has some behavioural issues and can become violent. This would be a factor to be considered in terms of your pregnancy and care of your child/ren too. The placement with parent assessment would need to consider this too.
You are worried that the baby could be removed at birth. This could only happen (without your consent) if a court were satisfied that the threshold for making a temporary care order was met and that removal from your care was in the baby’s best interests. Please see this FAQ which explains more about this.
I hope that this helps. I can see that you are trying to make the best decisions for you and your family.
Best wishes
Suzie
Welcome back to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post.
Congratulations on passing your placement with parent assessment for your 10 year old son. The current plan is for him to return to your care in January. You have persevered to achieve this proposed outcome and have shown determination.
Congratulations on your pregnancy also. However, I can see that this has raised a lot of questions and uncertainty for you, which is understandable.
It is clear from the information provided that you have worked very hard and have overcome many challenges. You are trying to weigh up the consequences and consider how children’s services will work with you in relation to your unborn baby and your son’s planned return home.
Unfortunately, I cannot advise on your pregnancy or predict what will happen but hope that the information below will be useful to you.
If you would like help and advice to make the best decision for you in relation to your pregnancy options you can discuss with your GP or another GP at your practice, or one of the services listed on the NHS website or pregnancy advisory services.
If you are continuing with your pregnancy then letting your son’s social worker or children's’ services know or engaging with your midwife (who will refer to children’s services), as soon as possible, is a good idea. This allows time for assessments to be carried out. It is also important to work openly and honestly with professionals from the outset.
As you are aware, children’s services will likely want to do a pre-birth assessment as you have children who are no longer in your care. This assessment will look at the issues in the past which resulted in you being unable to care for the children. It will also look at your current situation. You have explained this is much improved. They will want to be sure that any of the issues that you experienced in the past such as domestic abuse or mental health difficulties are no longer impacting on you or your future care of a baby. They will also look at all that you have achieved more recently including the positive placement with parents assessment.
You can find out more about pre-birth assessments here.
The plan for your son’s return home was based on an assessment where you would only be caring for him not for a baby as well. You mention that your son has some behavioural issues and can become violent. This would be a factor to be considered in terms of your pregnancy and care of your child/ren too. The placement with parent assessment would need to consider this too.
You are worried that the baby could be removed at birth. This could only happen (without your consent) if a court were satisfied that the threshold for making a temporary care order was met and that removal from your care was in the baby’s best interests. Please see this FAQ which explains more about this.
I hope that this helps. I can see that you are trying to make the best decisions for you and your family.
Best wishes
Suzie
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