Interim foster care

[My09876]

Hi, I’m new to this site and have been going through a lot recently please be patient and kind with me.

Things were all good in the beginning with me and my partner he never hurt me he had a heart of gold, just had a criminal history it all started when I was about 6 months pregnant we would argue and he would say hurtful things to me so here’s my story;

I’ve just recently had a baby, 2 days after giving birth social services were involved due to me disclosing my ex partner had been verbal throughout the later stages of my pregnancy. They told me all concerns they had on him because of past criminal convictions. It was a lot to take in and very overwhelming after just having a baby, I understood why they were concerned for my baby, they told me to choose to kick dad out or go to mums and dads I chose parents as I knew he would be coming round if I went back to the family home.

A s47 was taken place and they advised me not to allow contact between baby dad and baby without their knowledge until the investigation finished.

I cared for my baby 3 weeks at mums and dads and I explained I couldn’t do it anymore the reason why I said this was because I wanted a mother and baby unit to care for my daughter myself and to be stronger and make a break from baby’s dad as he knew where my parents lived. Also the fact was I was still seeing him due to him demanding his money he put in my bank but leaving my child with her Nan and I didn’t want to be doing this as it was very distressing for me, how he would blame me for listening to social services and not allowing contact.

On one occasion I took baby to see him as he kept demanding and threatening to take his life if he didn’t see his baby, at the time I was very vulnerable we met up in a safe place a park it was a busy day with loads of people around. I know this does not makes things right and I do deeply regret doing this. I just had to be open and honest and tell them.

The social worker knew I was still talking to him and this was putting pressure on me so she didn’t allow me to have a mother and baby placement they asked me to sign a s20 they then said I was emotional and violate of course I would of been emotional they just asked my to go and get support and leave baby with Nan and grandad.

I ended up going back to the family house as I had nowhere else to stay he became violent by pushing me because at the time I turned to drink to help during this time and it never helped, we were arguing loads and I knew this wasn’t right.

I left the family home, but was still trying to calm him down before the court proceedings started as I was scared he would know I was going against him, he was then making threats to me and my mum and dad and shown me a picture that he had been there before, I told social services and they interm foster cared my baby to keep her safe.

I’ve now done everything social services have asked of me and cut all contact between him and myself which I knew I should of done when they have implied this from just giving birth at the time I wasn’t strong enough and this is why I wanted the mother and baby placement to break free and to know I would be safe with my baby there as he wouldn’t know where we were.

I’ve started a freedom programme, stopped smoking weed which I was doing during pregnancy to help get over how he treated me, got myself a mother and baby placement and everything I need for baby. I’ve also started a parenting assessment and done the physiological assessment, got help from my gp regarding mental health, have a strong safety network to me and my daughter, had no contact with him now for a month.

I’m just hoping the judge will grant me a supervision order and I will get my baby back because there twin tracking it is a very difficult time for me I can’t loose my baby. I’ve done everything and more to get her back I’ve got my parents put forward as alternative cadets too.

Please any advice or tips would be great or reassurance that this will be enough to prove to the judge in a good mum without him.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear My09876

Thank you for posting on Family Rights Group’s parents’ discussion board. As you said, you have been going through a very difficult time. You are missing your daughter. It is good to hear that you are working really hard to get the right support for yourself ad that you are making a lot of positive changes.

As you know, I have already replied to you directly. Hopefully, some other mothers on this forum will be able to offer you some advice and support from their experiences too.

If you would like to speak to an adviser please call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm (except bank holidays). You can also post a new query on this board or get in touch via webchat or make an advice enquiry.

Best wishes

Suzie