Hi,
Sorry if my original post is very long I don't want to leave any important details out.
Abit of background, I have 3 children who have been removed from my care and subsequently adopted (all in separate proceedings). The first 2 were just over 10 years ago, I was 17 fresh out of a children's home myself and in an extremely Abusive relationship, both were removed from birth and granted adopted status within the 6 months court time frame.
My 3rd child was born 4 years ago and removed from birth too. I didn't find out I was pregnant until 35weeks gone. The removal was mainly due to suspicion about the pregnancy being "discovered" late and that I had just left another quite emotially Abusive relationship. I was not 100% sure about paternity at this point due to dates and fear that it would be my Abusive ex. I was not honest about this at the time with social services. After birth it was agreed that I would go into a mother and baby unit but I voluntarily withdrew due to it being 100s of miles away from home and my mental state at this point. Baby was placed in foster care on return but came back into my care 8 months later on a supervision order. However the order incorrectly ended after 2 months ceasing all involvement with support services. My child's final order was made for adoption in October 2022. Adoption granted December 2023. Reasons stating my honesty with professionals, my mental health status and timescale of relevant work and my relationships with unhealthy men still being unclear but apparent due to having another child with an abusive father.
Since Oct 2022, I have found employment, have sought intensive therapy for my mental health both NHS & Private ongoing, moved property but I'm currently also looking to relocate out of the area, etc. I'm currently 7 weeks pregnant after a brief fling with someone who began to show similar traits to my previous 2 partners. I left immediately, have logged everything with police and numerous services at every instant (as advised previously) and am working with a housing officer at present to relocate, both out of choice and for safety reasons (not caused by this baby's dad).
I'm aware social services will be involved if I continue with this pregnancy and im really scared that adoption will be the immediate response. I'm wondering if it is possible to agree before birth to plan a section 20 upon birth for approx 6 months or however long they are valid? My query for this is that it would give reasonable time to continue the steps for changes and prove sustained change.
Advice Needed
-
Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4996
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Advice Needed
Dear Jollybob
Welcome to the discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie, I am an online adviser and will be replying to you today.
Thank you for sharing your experiences, it was honest and transparent of you. At Family Rights Group, we acknowledge care experienced people do not always get the care and support they need and should receive whilst in the care of the local authority. Further, that services put in place to support young care leavers post 16 are often inadequate and may result in feelings of isolation and loneliness. I have added a link HERE to The Care Leavers' Association that you may find helpful. Their objective is to provide advice, guidance and support so that care leavers may fulfil their potential as individuals and members of society and that their conditions of life may be improved. Become is another charity that supports care leavers. This is their Care Advice Line number: 0800 023 2033. They do have an age criteria for support services -16-27. If you don't meet this, they maybe able to signpost you to other support services. HERE is the link to their website.
I am sorry to hear you were in an abusive relationship. From the information shared, you have worked hard to raise your awareness of domestic abuse and to make different decisions to keep yourself safe. You have also found employment and sought therapy for your mental health needs. Well done.
Three of your children have been adopted. You are now seven weeks pregnant with your fourth child. You are not with the father of the child. You ended the relationship due to concerns regarding domestic abuse. You reported your concerns to the police and other professionals and are working with a housing officer to relocate to a new area.
Given your experiences and children’s services involvement, you are aware they will be involved again. You except this and are seeking information and advice on how best to proceed and whether, following the birth of your child you could sign a
Section 20 Agreement (Voluntary Arrangement) – avoiding care proceedings and to work with children’s services to demonstrate you situation has changed and you are a safe person to provide and care for your child.
I have added a document HERE that you may find helpful. It is regarding pre-birth assessments. When an assessment is carried out in relation to an unborn baby, it is called a pre-birth assessment. It is carried out in much the same way as other social work assessments but is completed before the birth. The assessment will aim to find out whether the family need, or will need, extra support and whether the baby will be safe when they are born. The assessment process will give you the opportunity to inform the social worker of your present situation. Of the changes you have made and the understanding you have sought to protect yourself from abusive relationships. It will also give you the opportunity to evidence to children’s services that you are forward thinking and preparing for the birth of your child. The assessment usually starts around 22 weeks of pregnancy.
It is possible that they will agree to a Section 20 Agreement and this is something you can discuss during the pre-birth assessment however, I don’t think it is helpful to speculate on what might happen. I would advise you to be open and transparent with children’s services. To work with them to demonstrate the positive changes you have made. I have added a document HERE that you may find helpful. It is to our ‘top tips’ when working with social workers. This guide offers tips for parents on how to work well with the child’s social worker and what to do if that relationship is not going well.
You may also find this information HERE and
HERE helpful. It is a link to our information and advice regarding frequently asked questions when children’s services have previously been involved.
Whilst it may be difficult to think about at this time, there is an organisation called PAUSE who support women who are no longer caring for their children. They are a national charity who work to improve the lives of women who have had – or are at risk of having – more than one child removed from their care, and the services and systems that affect them. They support women to help them to meet their aspirations and goals and to focus on themselves. I have added a link to their website
HERE
I hope this information has been helpful to you. If you would like any further advice please do post on the forum again or you may wish to use a different way to get in touch. Please see below:
• Call our freephone helpline on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm (except bank holidays), to speak to an adviser.
• Send an advice enquiry.
• Use our webchat facility
Best wishes, Suzie
Welcome to the discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie, I am an online adviser and will be replying to you today.
Thank you for sharing your experiences, it was honest and transparent of you. At Family Rights Group, we acknowledge care experienced people do not always get the care and support they need and should receive whilst in the care of the local authority. Further, that services put in place to support young care leavers post 16 are often inadequate and may result in feelings of isolation and loneliness. I have added a link HERE to The Care Leavers' Association that you may find helpful. Their objective is to provide advice, guidance and support so that care leavers may fulfil their potential as individuals and members of society and that their conditions of life may be improved. Become is another charity that supports care leavers. This is their Care Advice Line number: 0800 023 2033. They do have an age criteria for support services -16-27. If you don't meet this, they maybe able to signpost you to other support services. HERE is the link to their website.
I am sorry to hear you were in an abusive relationship. From the information shared, you have worked hard to raise your awareness of domestic abuse and to make different decisions to keep yourself safe. You have also found employment and sought therapy for your mental health needs. Well done.
Three of your children have been adopted. You are now seven weeks pregnant with your fourth child. You are not with the father of the child. You ended the relationship due to concerns regarding domestic abuse. You reported your concerns to the police and other professionals and are working with a housing officer to relocate to a new area.
Given your experiences and children’s services involvement, you are aware they will be involved again. You except this and are seeking information and advice on how best to proceed and whether, following the birth of your child you could sign a
Section 20 Agreement (Voluntary Arrangement) – avoiding care proceedings and to work with children’s services to demonstrate you situation has changed and you are a safe person to provide and care for your child.
I have added a document HERE that you may find helpful. It is regarding pre-birth assessments. When an assessment is carried out in relation to an unborn baby, it is called a pre-birth assessment. It is carried out in much the same way as other social work assessments but is completed before the birth. The assessment will aim to find out whether the family need, or will need, extra support and whether the baby will be safe when they are born. The assessment process will give you the opportunity to inform the social worker of your present situation. Of the changes you have made and the understanding you have sought to protect yourself from abusive relationships. It will also give you the opportunity to evidence to children’s services that you are forward thinking and preparing for the birth of your child. The assessment usually starts around 22 weeks of pregnancy.
It is possible that they will agree to a Section 20 Agreement and this is something you can discuss during the pre-birth assessment however, I don’t think it is helpful to speculate on what might happen. I would advise you to be open and transparent with children’s services. To work with them to demonstrate the positive changes you have made. I have added a document HERE that you may find helpful. It is to our ‘top tips’ when working with social workers. This guide offers tips for parents on how to work well with the child’s social worker and what to do if that relationship is not going well.
You may also find this information HERE and
HERE helpful. It is a link to our information and advice regarding frequently asked questions when children’s services have previously been involved.
Whilst it may be difficult to think about at this time, there is an organisation called PAUSE who support women who are no longer caring for their children. They are a national charity who work to improve the lives of women who have had – or are at risk of having – more than one child removed from their care, and the services and systems that affect them. They support women to help them to meet their aspirations and goals and to focus on themselves. I have added a link to their website
HERE
I hope this information has been helpful to you. If you would like any further advice please do post on the forum again or you may wish to use a different way to get in touch. Please see below:
• Call our freephone helpline on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm (except bank holidays), to speak to an adviser.
• Send an advice enquiry.
• Use our webchat facility
Best wishes, Suzie
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