Social services have let me down

[Monkeyboi316]

So I have had a baby via surrogate and during this time before he was born we had a malicious complaint made about the state of our house.
Social services came out, investigated and said there was nothing wrong and we passed with flying colours.

I then got a phone call to say she had not closed it down quite yet and she had just recieved some new information which she had to speak to me about.

She came out and basically said due to some counselling sessions in 2020 they thought I was a pedophile and if I didn't agree to strict terms and conditions including not changing my baby and leaving the house at night they would get a court order and take him.

Now, she did state they did not have the full information just a few sentences so they had no context but they were still going to launch a full investigation.

She also said she was going to tell my job where I worked as a youth worker. I asked if the lado team could let me know at least before they did so that I could call in and inform my boss and she agreed to this.

But here's the thing, she refused to show me the notes. And the following day we met again where she made me sign a new agreement and she informed me not only had the baby's mother been informed, my work was also informed, but she had also told the surrogate.

I lost my job, as I was still in probation but luckily my family stood by me including the surrogate and I managed to speak to the counselling service that had the original notes, they instantly sent them over, and assured me as medically trained professionals they would back my claims that nowhere on these forms does it say I thought I might be a pedophile, and in actual fact it clearly stated I wasn't and what it was actually talking about was the sexual abuse I had suffered at the hands of my dad as a child.

The social worker then called us to go to the hospital straight away a few days later to check my sons bloodshot eyes. We had seen the midwives several times in previous visits about them and they all said the same thing, the eyes were due to the complicated birth he had and nothing was wrong with him, the pediatrician also confirmed this in the hospital but my partner noticed they seemed to be checking his private areas as well and as the parent with pr rights I should have been informed of this.

I then found out that they are breaking the terms of the agreement they made me sign and the social worker involved has 'gone on holiday' with no notice and she was only making plans with us a few days before so now I am suspicious that they know they have messed up and have put her on gardening leave but can't 100% confirm this element. But surely if they break the terms and conditions they have set it would nullify the agreement?

I think personally they have cherry picked statements on the forms that fit their agenda and ignored the rest of the form and have bulldozed their way into our lives and blown mine to smithereens in the process.

I am just waiting to get the sars request from the rest of the agencies I have applied too but I think I have a strong case against them

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Monkeyboi316

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.

Firstly, congratulations on the birth of your baby son. I hope he is doing well. I am sorry to hear that your family is experiencing difficulties.

You explain that children’s services are involved with your baby son. Initially, this was in response to a referral, pre-birth, about your home conditions. The social worker visited and was satisfied that your home was adequate.

The case was due to be closed but remained open due to ‘new information’ which raised concerns that you may possibly pose a risk of sexual harm to your child. You strongly dispute the concerns raised and have discussed the issues raised with the counselling service involved. You explain that you had discussed with them the sexual abuse you had suffered from your father. I am sorry to hear that you were abused. I am enclosing a link here to the National Association of People Abused in Childhood (NAPAC) and Supportline helpline: 01708 765200 which may be helpful for you to know about.

You say that the social worker said they were going to do a full investigation so I understand this to mean a child protection investigation. It is possible that they were referring to a full assessment under child in need procedures so you may want to seek clarification about this.

The social worker has informed the surrogate, the baby’s mother, and your employer (as you work with young people). You don’t say exactly how old your baby son is or what legal arrangements are in place with regards to who currently has parental responsibility for him. I am attaching a link to Child Law Advice’s information about surrogacy. As the surrogate who has given birth to the baby is the legal parent at birth this may explain why she was informed about the concerns and the investigation.

You say that you have since lost your job following this. I can understand that this must be a source of additional stress for you and probably financial duress for you.

Your son has had an additional hospital medical due to the social worker’s concern about his bloodshot eyes. I am glad to hear that the paediatrician and midwives agree that this was caused by his complicated birth rather than through an accident or being harmed. I understand that it may have been distressing for you to have to take your son for this extra check but it is reasonable for a social worker to want to ensure that any possible health concerns or injuries to a baby are assessed by a medical professional. Your partner is worried that medical staff appeared to check your son’s private areas. It is not unusual for a paediatrician to do a thorough physical examination of a baby. However if you and you partner have any queries or questions about this then it may be best to raise them with the hospital.

You and your partner are cooperating with children’s services. You have signed a written agreement which sets out limits to your involvement with your son, at present i.e. you are not involved in changing the baby and you are not present overnight. I am sorry that you may have felt pressured into agreeing to sign the written agreement. You were/are entitled to get legal advice at any time if you are no longer happy with this. The only way children’s services can impose an arrangement on a parent who does not agree is if they obtain a court order e.g. an emergency protection order or an interim care order which allows them to do so. However, by signing the agreement you showed a willingness to allow children’s services’ to complete their assessment with your son at home.

The social worker is now on leave which you find suspicious. You also believe that children’s services are breaking the terms of the written agreement. You have not said why you believe they are doing so. The agreement is primarily about safeguarding your son and serves as a temporary ‘safety plan.’

If you have any questions or need any clarification about the written agreement then in the allocated social worker’s absence you can raise them with a duty social worker, the social worker’s manager, or a duty manager. It is important that you continue to keep to your part of the agreement as it relates to your son and the consequences for you could be serious . If you are no longer willing to do so or would like the agreement amended in some way then you should let them children’s services know so that they can decide what action to take and you should also consider getting legal advice.

It is clear that the concerns raised and the subsequent investigation are having a huge impact on your life. However, as this is an ongoing process it may be a good idea to seek an update from children’s services about their findings to date and to clarify when it is likely to conclude. The maximum timescale for completing an assessment is 45 working days but it can be finished sooner. They should work fairly and transparently with you and make sure you are provided with clear information about their processes. But they are required by law to make child protection enquiries if they suspect that a child is likely to suffer significant harm.

You have made subject access requests to a number of agencies which may help you understand what information has been shared.

When you get a written copy of the social worker’s assessment you should go through it carefully for accuracy and in particular to understand what recommendation has been made and why.

If you need to make a request access records held by children’s services: personal information about families then please see this advice sheet 6 a) for details of how to do this. We have information about challenging decisions and making complaints here too.

Please do post back if you would like any further advice. If you prefer, you can speak to an adviser via our freephone advice helpline 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm or use our advice enquiry or webchat service.

Best wishes

Suzie