Can social services get involved?

[Africangreymama]

So this is going to be a long post but I need to ask somewhere and get it off my chest
I'll try my best to explain as best as I can but it's going to be very long although I'll try to keep it as short as possible
So in 2011 I had a little girl who was removed at birth, social services became involved as soon as they heard I was pregnant, I was 17 at the time and just left care to live my at the time partner. I was told by the social worker the reasons for removal so quick were because of my mental health issues and my past of abuse from different people including family members, I fought for almost 2 years, I passed all assessments but wouldn't leave the father, my problem was I wasn't given a reason as to why I should leave him, the social worker at the time just told me to leave him, I know I should have left him when told but without a valid reason given for me I found it unfair, I then got pregnant almost 5 years later and this time I went into a mother baby foster placement with my daughter after she had a long stay in hospital I left him but due to the abuse I'd suffered at his hands, I didn't disclose the abuse to anyone at the time but was super thankful to be away from him, my social worker at the time said something that made me extremely confused about it and when I spoke to my solicitor he went to court to get me some paper work that had been with held, this was the results of risk assessment held back in 2012 on my children's father (both same father) and when I received this information everything made sence, the report stated he had raped his younger sister on multiple occasions, it also predicted everything he would do to me which turned out to be true, I was absolutly dumb founded by this information and the fact it had been with held from me for so long, as soon as I'd calmed down I called him and asked why everyone had kept this information from me including social services and he tried to deny it, his mother also denied any of it despite the fact there was a police report to support it being factual. I cut contact with him and requested he only have contact with out daughter on the condition it be heavily supervised within a contact centre which was granted, when my daughter was around a year old I was still in the foster placement as social services kept turning down houses without consulting me first giving stupid reasons mainly that I had no support within those areas which wasn't true as I had family in all areas I'd be offered, I met a guy I thought was lovely and one day when I had my "free time" I went to his house and he beat me black and blue with his friends, I did go back to placement but ended up staying with him and eventually I decided that it was best for my daughter to be placed for adoption with her big sister which was granted right before she was 2 years old, I had contact with her until it was finalised
It's not over 6 years since I've had any involvement and I've worked really hard on myself, I've completed therapy, stopped drinking and taking drugs around 5 years ago and made all changes that the judge said I'd need to make before ever trying to have another baby. Me and my current partner have been together for 6 years we met very quickly after the adoption of my daughter and he truly supported me to help me get on my feet, we have our own house together with 2 dogs and a parrot, I've been working closely with the community mental health team for around 4 years and have had no major issues with my mental health in this time, I was going to get sterilised as I really didn't want more children due to my others being taken and the circumstances behind it but the week I was booked in for sterilisation I discovered I'm pregnant, after some long conversations me and my partner have agreed to give it ago, I've been working closely with my mental health team and a worker comes to my home regularly at least once a month as she has done for at least 4 years now, I also work closely with my GP and any services I've engaged with in the past, I done everything to help my quality of life without even thinking of a baby but now I'm pregnant I'm feeling super stressed and worried, I spoke with my worker when she last visited and she stated she'd had a meeting with her manager, my GP, my midwife and their safe guarding team and all of them have said they have zero concerns but due to my past involvement have had to let social services know I'm pregnant again, my midwife stated she has included in the referral that their are no concerns and they don't believe I need any involvement from social services but I'm still worrying about them becoming involved due to my past experiences with them not being truthful with me regarding my older children's father and the risks he posed to both myself and our children. What I'd like to know is what are the chances they will become involved with all of the evidence of changes I've made along with the professionals involved stating there's no concerns raised? I have nothing to hide and honestly don't believe they could remove this baby due to my life style being worlds apart from my previous situation but with my history I'm worried they will still get involved and try to take this baby on the grounds of my past despite my life being completely changed around and all work that would have needed to be done being completed before even getting pregnant again. I have an amazing support system in place and have no doubt I won't be without any support needed, there's a care plan in place for both me and baby, made with my midwife and mental health worker but despite all of this I can't stop worrying, I have messaged my midwife and she's only received an email to confirm the referral has been received by social services but has heard nothing else as of yet, any advice on what you think may happen from here on out would be greatly appreciate as I feel I'm loosing my mind just waiting to know what's going to happen. I have expressed my worries to my mental health worker who's been amazing in being available to talk to whenever I need her but I cannot stop this worry, thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond when you are able to

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Africangreymama,
Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am the online adviser responding to your enquiry today.
Congratulations on your pregnancy. I am sorry to hear about the stressful times you have experienced in the past and hope that I can guide you to useful advice and information to help you in your present situation.
It’s great to read about all the positive changes you have made and that you feel supported by your GP and the mental health team.
One of the issues in the past was that you were not given information about your partner’s history and risks so that you could make decisions about your own safety. You may be aware that there is a new law since that time– known as Claire’s law which allows people to request disclosure of information from the police.
You can read more about this here.
You explain that a referral has been made to children’s services and that you are now waiting to hear their response and want to know more about what could happen from here. Your circumstances have changed significantly since your other children were placed elsewhere. Many parents of adopted children go on to have children who remain in their care. You can read more on the Family Rights Group website about how children’s services approach a new referral here]
There is also useful information on the parents to be page here and information about pre-birth assessments here
Children’s services should explore all the ways in which your life is different now. It takes huge strength and determination to make positive changes and any assessment should look at the whole picture so that you are seen as you are in your present not your past.
It may be that you feel that there are areas of life in which you could use a bit of support to get ready for the baby’s arrival and it’s important to be honest about this at this stage, so that you would have time to have suitable specialist help if this was needed. You can read more about support available here
I don’t know all of your situation or needs – these are for you to reflect on. It’s just that some people understandably make the mistake of trying to present a perfect life during an assessment process and not sharing information can sometimes make things more complicated not less. You are obviously someone who can work well with supportive professionals. It’s so good to hear that you have a care plan for your pregnancy with your mental health worker and midwife and that you feel you have ‘an amazing support system in place’.
When you are considering your needs now and preparation for life after the baby’s birth it could be useful for you to read about family group conferences here.
Family group conference is a way for extended family and your friends network to come together with an independent chair to talk through ways they could help out when your baby is here. Again, it’s for you to decide whether this would be a useful meeting. I just want to let you know the option.
I hope this information was useful to you.
There are many different ways to contact Family Rights Group if you seek further advice in the future:
• A free telephone advice line open Monday to Friday between 9.30am and 3pm (ex-cluding Bank Holidays) on 0808 801 0366
• Easy-to-follow online information. Features include an A-Z, FAQs, films, ‘top tips’ and legal advice sheets;
• Online forums where families can receive advice, discuss issues, and find support;
• A webchat service where you can message an adviser online, who will help you find information and advice to support you.
Best wishes,
Suzie

[Africangreymama]

Thank you so much for all of the information you have provided to me, I am still waiting to hear anything from social services as of yet but have asked my mental health worker for extra support for my anxiety around the situation, I'm certain I'm doing everything possible to ensure my baby is safe and healthy and have done the clairs law on my partner which came back all clear. I understand nobody has a perfect life and to portray such a thing isn't the best thing to do but I can honestly say things are going great. I have already spoken to family that know about my pregnancy and asked what kind of support they can offer if I'm struggling at all and each have given me comforting answers, like my partners parents are willing to step in for any reason would they need to and my mum who isn't very well can offer mostly virtual support due to health issues but her advise has been amazing so far, I'm still actively practising my coping tools learnt in therapy which have been a god send. Is there a way to know the time scale in which social services may contact me to let me know what they will want to do? I feel it's taking longer than it should at this point and am wondering what the hold up is. I will definitely be looking into the links you've provided, thank you for those. Any other advise that you can offer at all is very much appreciated as is your time taken to read and reply to my first post made. I am continuing to access any services I personally believe will help me in progressing things in the right direction and will continue to do so throughout the pregnancy and beyond to ensure I'm able to provide the best possible care to my baby and to ensure my own needs are being met to keep me in the right place mentally and physically. Thank you so much for your advise

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Africangreymama

Thank you for your further post. I am pleased that you found the advice useful.

In your post you are asking about timescales related to children’s services involvement with you. It is difficult to give you specific timescales as, firstly, I do not know how far into your pregnancy you are, and I do not know the arrangements/policy within your local authority.

Normally, most children’s services do not become involved for a pre-birth assessment until 20-24 weeks into the pregnancy. I think your midwife may be better placed to explain how your local children’s services work in these circumstances.

You could also consider contacting children’s services directly or go to the local authority’s website and check for their policies related to assessments.

Please read through the information in the links provided which may well answer questions you might have.

I hope this helps, but if you wish to talk things through with an adviser, you can telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3.00pm Monday to Friday (excluding Bank Holidays)

Best wishes


Suzie

[Africangreymama]

Hi suzie, thanks for replying again
I have had a call from someone from social services over 3 weeks ago no, she stated on the phone that a social worker would be allocated and in touch within a week but I'm yet to hear back from them, I have since chased them up with a phone call. I'm now 15 weeks pregnant and I've managed to quit smoking cigarettes for the better health of my baby and eating well to ensure my baby and myself have the nutrition we require to remain healthy
I'm signed up to do the freedom programmed which starts in September, I'm also currently involved with a womans centre that offers mounds of support in different aspects of my life. I've put in safeguarding measures regarding my dogs and getting them used to not being in the room where my baby will spend most of the day while at home, I've started getting little bits in for baby and have much needed support in place to ensure my mental health remains stable as it has been for the past 4 years now with only minor setbacks such as mild depression and anxiety, I'm currently on a 5 week course for CBT for my anxiety which I'm also finding helpful, at the womans centre I'm being offered a health worker and case worker who will further support me with anything I may need support with. My mental health worker is no longer involved due to moving to a different job but has assured me she feels I no longer need the level of support she's been offering the past 2 years and I do agree with her but have things in place to support me during and post birth of baby. Once my current CBT anxiety course is finished I'll be contacting other agencies to help support me with my mental health throughout my pregnancy and beyond. I also should mention my dogs are lovely and well trained and both amazing with kids although one can be nervous of new people she's never met before but is in no way aggressive, do you believe this will be viewed negatively by the social services once they've been to my home? I do also have an african grey parrot, he's really so sweet but will not be around baby when born and I've put things in place to safely beable to care for him while pregnant due to the risks his dust could cause in the way of help cleaning his cage and daily feeding and water changing him.
My home in my opinion is very well looked after and is cleaned daily, floors twice daily due to dog fur as one of my dogs is a husky and molts alot
I feel despite my past history and the concerns they had in the past I'm going to be okay but am obviously still worried, my current partner is very supportive in all aspects of pregnancy and seems very excited to be a father to our unborn baby, he also seems willing to support in anyway he can when social services do actively become involved. I have no doubts in my own ability to safely and effectively parent my child and am able to evident this I'm just praying they won't feel that due to my past there will be any safeguarding issues, my partners family are amazing with support and my own limited family are offering remote support to me where possible. I just wanted to drop an update to you and will do so again when there has been more progress

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Africangreymama

Thank you for your update.

From what you have written, it seems that you have done as much as you can for the moment.

May I suggest that you continue to be ‘open’ when you meet the allocated social worker. Here are our webpages for Parents To Be.

Best wishes
Suzie