Social Service removed my family from my home

[AZ1707]

Hi Every one I need urgent help what to do as on 5th june 2024 I left my kids in school and whent to my office when I went back to collect them after school they were missing I ring my wife to check if whe might have collected them but my wife's phone was off. I went into the school and asked for my kids and they replied your wife has taken them and she said the kids are safe and they will not come back to the school again. I was shocked and went back to my home to check whats happened.

When I reached there I notice my wife and kids are missing with all there belongings my home keys are in the middle of the room and main gate keys are next to the door.

I was shocked as me and my wife both are happy and we have no issue. I tried calling police and they did come back to me after 1 week and said they know where the kids are they are safe but we can't tell you.

For more information please call to socail services. I did try calling X and Y council and they come back to me after 2 weeks and told me that all are ok but they do not want to take any action.

Than yesterday my wife sent me sms that they are removed by socail services they are in safe place but not allowed to contact otherwise socail services will take my kids away. We had an incedent in 2021 in which police were called as my kids were in the room and my wife attacked me due to an anger over an argument to avoid my wife being taken by police she quickly blam on me that I throw a phone on her and pushed her so they took me and released me with bail which later ended up in NFA.

When police left me on bail I fly back to my home land and did not come back for 2 years. Later I do not know socail service get involved with my wife and keep visiting her but after 2 months my wife feedup with socail service and run away to back home.

Now recently we came back to UK as of my new job we are here since 2023 and we had no issue kids are goining into the school all was normal but suddenly socail services I believe know some how that my kids are back or maybe we are living togather so they get involved. They removed all of them and I have no contact only securtly with my wife.

Can anyone let me know what will happen now? I have no criminal record, no drinking , no any thing working full time as a IT manager. She also clear from any thing.

Will socail services will keep us separate and will not allow us to be togather ? What should we do as my wife is thinking to run away back home asap they will give her some independence ? can socail service will do anything ?

Or should we wait and they will release us or close the case my SON is 18+ now its only my daughter she is 13 which they can take I believe but before getting court order I think we can run away to back home ?

Waiting for reply

Thank you

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear AZ1707

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.

I am sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult situation. I understand that this is worrying and distressing for you.

You explained that your wife, 18-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter left the family home at the beginning of June, without informing you. You believe that they were removed by children’s services. Children’s services do not have the power to remove adults and need parental consent or a court order to remove a child. Please see here for an explanation of this.

However, children's services may have supported your wife in her decision to leave with the children. Or, if they had serious safety concerns, they may have encouraged her to go.

You were shocked by this as you stated that you were happy and there were no problems. It is likely that your wife or children felt differently or that children’s services had concerns for your daughter which prompted this action.

You provide background information about domestic abuse in 2021, which led to police involvement. You allege that your wife was the perpetrator but say that she blamed you, resulting in your arrest. You clarify that neither of you have any criminal convictions. However, following this incident you subsequently returned to your home country where you stayed for a couple of years, returning to England last year for work. Children's services remained involved with your wife and children, following your departure. You state that your wife found this intrusive and after a couple of months she left with the children to join you abroad, returning last year.

The police and children’s services have both confirmed to you that your family are safe and well. They cannot share their contact details or address with you. Your wife has now contacted you ‘secretly’ to confirm that they are in a safe place. She told you that children’s services have recommended they have no contact with you. She also informed you that children’s services have indicated that if there is contact, they would be so concerned about the risk this poses that they would apply to remove your daughter. As explained above, children’s services cannot apply for a court order to remove your 18-year-old son. However, if he is a vulnerable young adult, Adult Social Care would have safeguarding responsibilities for him.

It may be that your wife is having second thoughts about remaining separated or is feeling pressurised in some way. You say that she is thinking about ‘running back home'. I do not know if you mean returning to your family home or travelling abroad.

Clearly, from the information you have provided, children’s services would be very concerned about the covert contact you are having and if you reconciled or your wife and children left their safe accommodation. As parents you are both responsible for keeping your children safe. Children’s services have told your wife how concerned they are and indicated what action they would consider taking if the current safety plan was not followed. If you continue to communicate with your wife in a covert way, you are putting your family at risk of children’s services taking legal action to safeguard your daughter. It is important that both you and your wife cease communicating in this way. Or if you intend to continue then you should inform children’s services of this openly so that they can reassess the risk. They have already told your wife and she has told you that they would consider applying to remove your child in this situation.

I understand how difficult your situation is. I am sure that you are missing your family very much. You have had limited communication from children’s services. You had to contact them to check that your family were safe. It sounds as if they did not communicate clearly with you about their role, and concerns or explain to you what your options are. They should have done so. As your family may now be living in a different local authority area there may be a new children’s services team involved. However, I would recommend that you:

Urgently, contact children’s services again in your area (where your family lived until recently). Ask them to clarify in writing to you their role (or a new local authority's role) in your family’s life and their advice to you about your options as a father with parental responsibility. They have a duty to work with both parents when they are involved with a child. They must do so safely though, and not place anyone at further risk. If you intend to try to maintain a relationship you should let them know. Please see our advice for fathers here. And our specialist domestic abuse FAQs for fathers.

Access private law advice as soon as possible in relation to contact with your daughter. Your son is an adult so can make his own decisions about contact. You can find out how to apply to the court for them to decide on future contact arrangements between your daughter and you. Please see below for sources of legal advice and information:

Law Society find a solicitor

Child Law Advice

Advice Now Affordable Advice service

Citizens Advice, Royal Courts of Justice

If you need to represent yourself in a court process e.g. for a Child Arrangements Order (CAO) to spend time with your daughter, then Support Through Court may be able to help with form filling and explaining processes. But they do not give legal advice.

You may also be able to get advice and support from one of the Fathers’ services listed at the end of this page.

I hope this has helped.

If you need any further advice about children’s services please post again, call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm, send an advice enquiry form or use our webchat facility.

Best wishes

Suzie

[AZ1707]

Hi I did received a letter from X council related to my family details which says they know but they are not willing to take any action. it seems like my wife left on her own? maybe because when they contacted her she might refuse to share her details with them? because I notice my wife change her visa from dependent to 3 month migrant victims of domestic abuse concession (DDV) visa. I do not blieve socail worker or child service force her to change her visa.

It seems like you are right they maybe left on her own or maybe chose to go with my daughter ? which you think is not possible without court order ? or maybe chose to goto shelter by her own choice so that socail worker concern about living with me should minimise if they showed any concern?

I am going to call the council to discuss more about the letter I received. I think I only have option to submit C100 form. So that I have some contact with my daughter as my son is adult and my wife also may not contact me if this is her own action.

I was just querious way than she contacted me covertly after a months of disapearance ? She only doing 1 or 2 message every 1 or 2 weeks and I am not sending any reply as she told me do not send reply or contact her back as socail service will be conceren if they know.

It seems like I am totaly thinking wrong that it was done by socail services but it seems like it was done by my family and they moved to shalter and applied for DDV concession and applied for benefits and now waiting for ILR(DV) application to submit and on the other hand keeping me calm or away for any interfarence ??

Thanks

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear AZ1707,
Thank you for your update.

You explain that you have had a letter from children’s services. You now have contact details so that you can ask for further guidance. Children’s services explained that your family are safe and that they cannot give any details about your wife and children’s location.
You can ask children’s services to be clear about their role in your family’s life and ask their advice on your options as a father with parental responsibility. They have a duty to work with both parents when they are involved with a child. They must do so safely though, and not place anyone at further risk. If you intend to try to maintain a relationship you should let them know. Please follow the links to advice for fathers in the previous post, and also the link to the domestic abuse FAQs for fathers.

Your wife has told you that children’s services have recommended they have no contact with you. She also informed you that children’s services have indicated that if there is contact, they would be so concerned about the risk this poses that they would apply to remove your daughter.

Please re-read the advice in the previous reply about the risks involved in secret communication between you and your wife.

You also update that you are going to investigate the option of a Child Arrangements Order to seek contact with your daughter. Please re-read the advice on where to find support with private family law applications given in the previous post.

I hope these posts have been useful to you and that the organisations that we have signposted you to can be of further help.

Best wishes,
Suzie

[AZ1707]

Hi Thank you for your suggestions I have stopped any covert contact with my wife and I did call my local council about my situation in Staffordshire. They told me your wide have only 2 option lose her kids and have you or have her kids and loss you ( separation ).

I am so shocked that its the only 1 incident in our family being living together from last 24 years and every thing finish just because of one incident?

There is no other option ? I mean we can not live together that is how social worker is looking this case.

My council also advise me to submit C100 form so that I can have (supervise contact / non supervise contact ) with my kids if I really want to meet my kids as its been 2 months and have not seen my kids.

So kindly let me know what should I do ? Do I really need to contact a solicitor and ask him to submit the C100 form and ask the court to let me see my kids ?

B/w my wife applied for ILR (DV) application which will return to her in next 3-4 months. So she can than fly back to her home land ? do social worker will let her go or can stop her ? She will be living in home land country alone as I am in Uk so we will be separate. Will this allowed ? As there is possibility that her ILR(DV) may not approved and her visa get refused so legally she will not be able to stay in UK. if I do not contact her and if after 3 month her visa refused. Can social worker still take her kids as my daughter is British national but if mother visa refuse can she take her daughter with her to home land country? or still social worker can stop her saying that her daughter is British national and can stay here and you can go back to home land country?

Thanks