Can I refuse to hand over my daughter

[skwitx]

Hi my 2 year old daughter has lived with her mum since birth (we are a same sex parents) I split with her mum in March last year and we agreed the baby stayed with her at my exes step mums house and I have her at weekends due to my work I have now found out that she has decided she cant cope with a baby and has left her step mum to look after her for the last 2 weeks whilst she stays at her new boyfriends house (as her new boyfriend isn't allowed near the baby due to social services saying he poses a risk) ex has said my daughter is allowed to stay with exes stepmum as she has lived with her for over 12 months and is settled there so I cant do anything, can I refuse to hand over my daughter to her stepmum when she tries to collect her this monday and keep her with me fulltime as myself and her mum share parental responsibility not her stepmum,( I kept her last year due to my exes parenting ability, but judge said as she was the main carer as I worked she didnt that I had to hand her back), would i be going against the court order if i refused to hand her to her stepmum, also i have been told that stepmum is giving my ex another 2 weeks to change her mind if not she is looking into getting a special guardian order to foster her full time, even though she is close to her nana ( baby calls her nana even though its exes stepmum not actual mum) and is settled and in a routine there ( as she has lived at stepnanas house for the last 19 months, can I contest her getting SGO as I have parental responsibility, she is in contact with social services.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear skwitx,

Welcome to the Parents’ forum and thank you for your post.

From the information you have given it sounds as if there is a child arrangements order in place which states that your daughter lives with your ex-partner, and has overnight contact with you at weekends. You have recently discovered that your ex-partner is no longer caring for your daughter and is leaving her in the care of her step-mother. You would like to know if you can refuse to hand your daughter over to your ex’s step-mother.

Anyone with parental responsibility should act in the best interests of the child. This means that if you have concerns about the welfare of your daughter when she is in the care of your ex-partner (or her step-mother) then it would be advisable to keep her in your care. However you do not mention any safeguarding concerns about the step-mother, only that you are unhappy that your ex is leaving your daughter with her. Therefore I would suggest that it is better to try and resolve this amicably between yourself and your ex-partner, or perhaps contact children’s services yourself to get their advice. You could also return to court yourself and ask for the child arrangements order to be varied as your daughter is no longer in the care of your ex-partner.

If you do not support your ex’s step-mother applying for a special guardianship order then you can contest this. It would be the court’s decision as to whether a special guardianship order is in the best interests of the child.

For further private law advice I would suggest that you contact Child Law Advice or Rights of Women.

If children’s services become involved with your child then we can advise further about this. You can post again here, or call our free, confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. We also have a webchat service and an advice enquiry form.

Best wishes,
Suzie