Stopping an SGO

[Mossie20]

Hi, my son is currently under a care order with my sister.

All year the local authority have been saying they are going to do a parenting assessment, there have been a lot of different social workers the latest has now decided they are not and are applying for an sgo.

She is saying because I didn’t make a decision about my husband that I am not putting my son first I had already said I would choose my son there’s no question. I was waiting for her to let me me know if they had found someone to do the assessment to give her my decision about doing it alone, apparently someone was found but they have decided not to do it. I have made an appointment to see a solicitor but I am at a loss, they say he is at risk of emotional harm because of the relationship which is over but they don’t care that my son didn’t gain weight for a year, and then just weeks later turns up with a bruise in the middle of his chest with no explanation, he is 4 years old, the social worker is saying she didn’t know about the bruise and has asked for the photo but it will be ignored or excused like everything else.
I get if he is removed from my sister he won’t simply come back to me despite there being no real risk, being a single parent is not a reason which is essentially what it comes down to.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Mossie20

Thank you for your recent post. I am sorry to hear that children’s services have decided not to proceed with your proposed parenting assessment. I understand that this is very disappointing for you. You dispute the reasons the social worker has given. You have already made an appointment with a solicitor to consider how to proceed. This is a good idea; I hope that you will be able to discuss the situation fully with the solicitor and get their specific legal advice about this.

You can let the social worker, their manager and the Independent Reviewing Officer (IRO) know that you disagree with the planned change to your son’s care plan i.e. that they are recommending that your sister obtains a Special Guardianship Order (SGO) for him.

You can make a complaint if you are unhappy with how children’s services have worked with you and about their decision. Please see here for how to do so.

However, if the court is asked to make a SGO you will be a party to the proceedings and so if you do not consent you will be able to challenge this during the court process. Please see this advice sheet on Special Guardianship: information for birth parents.

You have raised concerns with the social worker that your son did not gain weight for a year and subsequently had a bruise on his chest. I understand this to mean that this happened while he was in your sister’s care. As a Looked After Child health professionals regularly monitor your son’s health and weight so hopefully the social worker will be able to clarify this. In relation to the bruise, it seems that this was not reported at the time as the social worker was not aware of it. They have asked you to provide a photo. So, they are looking into this. You should ask the social worker to update you about the outcome.

If your son could not live with your sister any longer children’s services would have to consider whether he could be returned to your care. However, their current view is that there is a continued risk of emotional harm. So, they could not place him with you if they decided that it was not safe or in his best interests.

If your sister does become a special guardian, then you will have to find a way of communicating with her about your son. A special guardianship assessment includes an assessment of the parents’ support needs so you would have a chance to explore this and discuss with the assessing social worker what help you would need. You can find more about this in the advice sheet linked to earlier.

I know there is a lot going on now so please seek further advice as and when you need to. As well as this forum there are other advice options here.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Mossie20]

Hi
I have considered a complaint I put one in before but was told nothing can be done during proceedings, I have also read it can make things worse or simply nothing gets done. I do have evidence of the many lies told.
I have also contacted the local councillor who has raised it on the case system but I’m not sure what that is.
I am still waiting to hear about legal aid from the solicitor but they haven’t applied for the sgo yet so I don’t think it would be granted yet.
The social worker isn’t doing anything about the bruise, my sister is now saying he fell on a toy which she didn’t say before and I do not believe her, the social worker also said it was months ago so couldn’t do anything and the supervisor hadn’t put it in the notes despite saying she would. He has a broken front tooth that has never been explained.
Do you mean who ever assesses my sister for an sgo shoul talk to me? They did one before but never spoke to me and just believed anything she told them.
I also have concerns about the judge, she has a reputation for being harsh, and has had the case assigned to her unfortunately, the only judges ive had with any sense have been male. She ignores evidence including medical expert, allows the local authority to do what they want causing delays and not providing proper answers at the hearing, she said parenting isn’t a problem and it’s an unusual case but still gives them anything they ask for. She even got the law wrong during the final hearing. There’s nothing more I can do, he should never have been taken even barristers have said the threshold wasn’t enough, but I’ve completed therapy for anxiety they wanted nhs and private which they made digs about, it wasn’t until this June they were accepted by a different social worker who had no problem with them but she’s left. I’ve never been asked to do a parenting course I have never done drugs etc I don’t even drink
I am getting divorced so they can’t say my relationship is a concern I have already told them my son comes first I will always choose him. I’m talking with a womens charity but I’m worried that will make it worse. I have never said he wouldn’t see my sister or family. I know they will now be able to use the house as an issue as it will likely have to be sold now which isn’t a real reason but they will use it. All I do is try an protect him and They say I’m a good mum so what else can I do

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Mossie,

Thank you for your further post.

It is my understanding that you are not currently in proceedings so you could consider the complaints process at this time, and also raise your concerns about your son's care with the independent reviewing officer as detailed in the previous reply.

You can read more about complaints here.

You have made significant changes since the care order was made and have completed a course of therapy to help you manage anxiety. You are divorcing and have been in contact with a women’s charity. I do not think that seeking support from this charity will ‘make things worse’. Being aware of your needs and finding help to meet them is a wise course and could reassure children’s services that you have ways to manage the practical and emotional issues and changes of circumstance that can come up in any parent’s life.

You may find the guide to divorce from Rights of Women helpful. You can link to it here. It offers comprehensive advice on housing and financial considerations in divorce.

It’s positive that you wish your son to keep his connection to your sister and family as this shows that you are putting his needs first.

At the end of your post you ask if there is anything else you can do. I noted that earlier on you point out that you have never been asked to do a parenting course. Is this something you could pursue now? This would show that you are doing everything in your scope to ensure that your son’s future wellbeing.

Family Lives have online parenting courses that you could look at here.

Best wishes,
Suzie

[Mossie20]

I have thought about speaking to the IRO but I have raised issues before, things I could evidence, my sister admitted to lying in a LAC review meeting but nothing is done. She will chase things if they are delayed but that’s all.

All the therapy was completed before the hearing. Some over a year before for anxiety, they were never happy I have done more than one lot, the only thing diagnosed by the nhs was anxiety which never affected parenting and was mostly after proceedings began. It was mainly just constant worrying but there was always something to worry about from the moment my son was born, we didn’t come home for 18 days. I did private therapy as what was asked wanted a certain qualification which was not available with the nhs, they tried to then imply because it was private it wasn’t valid. No therapy has been asked for since the hearing but previous therapy was finally accepted by a different social worker who has now left. The only thing not done was mediation with my sister, I agreed but they didn’t organise it, they said they wanted a a family group conference first which didn’t make sense. They just constantly find something else to use as a reason.

I’ve managed to get some advice about divorce and finance and legal aid. It could take 8 weeks to speak to someone who could help but they said the gp may be able to help but I don’t know how. I have some proof but so much was verbal or I simply cannot prove he was lying.
I’ve registered home rights but I don’t know if that applies after a divorce.

I have never been asked as parenting has never been a concern, even when mental health has been questioned. The social worker said when she told me they were applying for an sgo that my parenting isn’t an issue. The previous parenting assessment had no problem either. I’ve looked at ppp course but there’s no point. It’s all potential emotional risk they use which I just don’t know how to disprove when he not at home, there’s no evidence, I’ve tried with my sister but she makes things awkward but makes out it’s me. No We have never been close but I have always known she loves my son as I love my nieces and nephew and she saw him before this and still would but theres no way to prove it. It’s like I’m expected not to say when I know she’s lying about me or raise genuine concerns about my son in her care, if I didn’t that would not be putting him first.

I would do anything to get him home if it would help