Safety plans

[Dt123]

Hi, my husband has had an allegation of sexual harm against a 15 year old. The police have completed forensics and said it can take 12-18 months. This is what social workers are awaiting outcome of this. In the mean time safety plan is no unsupervised contact children under 18 standard. My children are 16 and 13. SW has said husband cannot stay in home over night whilst I’m asleep. We have suggested all sorts of ways to overcome this still keeping safety in place. We have suggested safety planning with children, door locks on bedrooms, door alarms, cameras in every room in house except bedrooms bathrooms. Husband sleeping in garage so that he doesn’t come in home over night until I’m awake, me sleeping in with children but all they keep saying is no. My husband is not able to have his children over night now as have additional needs and I cannot manage these alone if he is not around. It’s impacting the children terribly to point my step son punched a teacher and said he was not going to behave until all this over. It’s causing emotional harm in all of us and obviously exasperating mental health. We are all just so sad. This could go on for months due to police back logs they have said it’s a forensic only case. My husband is maintaining innocence and we just don’t know what to do here? Would a solicitor be able to help?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Dt123

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.

I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you and your family are experiencing. You have not done anything wrong but are trying to manage a stressful and distressing situation which is having a significant impact on your family life.

You explain that children’s services have become involved with your two teenage children and your husband’s children due to an allegation that he has sexually harmed a 15-year-old child. Your husband denies this. The police have indicated that their investigation could take up to 18 months to conclude.

In the meantime, children’s services have asked you to work with a temporary safety plan which prevents your husband from having unsupervised contact with any young person under the age of 18. Children’s services have also recommended that your husband cannot be at home overnight while you are asleep. You have put forward your own proposals for how you could safeguard your children at home with your husband, but children’s services have rejected them. You are wondering how to proceed.

It may be that you have not had much time to process all that is happening. I would encourage you to get some specialist advice from the Stop it Now service as they work with anyone affected by sexual offending. Their helpline number is 0808 1000 900 or you can also contact them by email or webchat. Talking Forward support to partners of adults who have offended online and StopSO also have a forum for adult family members.

Although your husband maintains that he is innocent the professionals will expect you to accept that there is a risk and to be protective. You are doing this but are trying to find a way of ensuring the children are safe from the risk of sexual harm but also promoting their overall welfare and minimising the emotional impact on them. You can ask to have a conversation with the social worker about the children’s wider needs too. It is important that the children have a coherent understanding of the situation. This could also form part of the safety plan in place.

You don’t say if the current plan comes under child in need or child protection. Please see information about both child in need and child protection here.

You could:

• Ask children’s services (in writing) to re-consider the proposed safety plan you have put forward.
• Ask them to be clear with you (in writing) about why they don’t consider this robust enough (they should give reasons) and ask what else they suggest you do.
• Your husband could also contact Stop it Now as he is the alleged offender. He may find it useful to discuss his situation and the allegations against him with a specialist in this field.
• Your husband could ask children’s services to request a specialist risk assessment. Please see the Lucy Faithfull Foundation and StopSO in relation to this.
• Read the information in this Centre for Expertise on Child Sexual Abuse guide about safety planning(pages 25 and 26) and share the messages from the guide with your social worker if that is helpful.
• Ask the social worker to confirm how/when the safety plan will be reviewed.

You asked if a solicitor would be able to help. It is a good idea for your husband to get some private (family) law advice about his contact with his children/your children. He can contact Child Law Advice or discuss with a family solicitor. There is no legal aid in this situation so do bear that in mind when contacting a solicitor. Please see sources of legal advice here.

I hope this is helpful.

If you need further advice about children’s services, please post back or use of the other advice options linked to here.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Dt123]

Hi,

So now 10 months in still no response from the police they say still waiting on forensics and my husband is staying out of the home over night when children are home. It’s destroying us as a family. How long can ss expect husband and family to stay living this way? Ss closed dec 2024 with this safety plan in place with no overnight stays and was at cin.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Dt123

Welcome back to the parents’ board and thank you for your post.

I am sorry to hear that your situation has not moved on. I understand that this must be very frustrating and is having a significant impact on your family.

Your husband is under a criminal investigation in relation to alleged sexual harm of a child. This has not been concluded as the police are awaiting the outcome of the forensic investigation.

Children’s services closed your children’s case last December as you and your husband were complying with a safety plan whereby he does not stay overnight in your home while the children are present. When the case was open the children had child in need plans.

You want to know how long children’s services expect you and your family to continue with this safety plan as it really affecting you.

I would expect that children’s services anticipate that you and your husband continue to keep to the plan until they are aware of the outcome of the police investigation when they would review the situation, bearing in mind the police response.

However, as this is taking a very long time, my advice is that you and/or your husband consider:

1) Contacting the police directly to ask if they can provide an up to date timescale for when they will receive the forensic report and decide what action if any to take.
2) Checking with a criminal lawyer with expertise in this area to see if they can provide any clarity about police timescales in these situations or how to prompt a more urgent response.
3) Contact children’s services in writing (as the case is closed) to update them that there has been no update from the police in the interim period, to inform them that you are adhering to the agreed safety plan and to formally ask that they review it at this stage due to the long delay. They may say that they won’t review until the criminal investigation moves forward as the situation is still the same, there is no new information and so the level of risk identified remains the same. However, it is important that they clarify any decisions they make with you, as you are the ones implementing the plan. You can let them know the impact this is having on your family especially if the children are particularly affected. You could also update them if you, your husband and/or the children have completed any relevant programmes since they were last involved.
4) If children’s services do not respond or you are unhappy with their decision you can consider a complaint.

I provided other suggestions and signposting information in my response to your previous post so they may be worth looking at again.

Please do make sure that you have support for yourself. Family Line is a charity supporting families who are struggling with difficult issues; please see their contact details here.

I hope that the police investigation moves forward soon.

I hope this has been helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie