Family Rights Group | Parents’ Forum

For over two years, I have been unable to see my child due to the constant lies and manipulation of their mother. A recent fact-finding hearing revealed the truth behind the allegations that have kept me away from my child. The court found evidence of parental alienation, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse against my child’s mother, stepfather, and teenage sibling. Importantly, no findings of any kind were made against me. Based on these findings, the judge ordered a Section 37 report and made it clear that the priority should be to repair the relationship between my child and me.
To facilitate this, supervised contact sessions were ordered while the Section 37 report is being completed. Unfortunately, these contact sessions have not been successful because my child refuses to come inside the contact center. This refusal is not the result of their own choices or feelings but rather a consequence of the ongoing manipulation by their mother. My child’s mother continues to feed them false and damaging narratives, including the untrue claim that I sexually abused them. This behavior directly undermines the court’s order and prevents the progress necessary to restore our bond.
The social worker handling my child’s case also appears to have been influenced by their mother. Despite the court’s findings against their mother, stepfather, and sibling, the social worker has determined that my child will remain classified as a “child in need” and stay in the same harmful environment. This decision contradicts the court’s findings and puts my child’s emotional and physical well-being at further risk.
The judge has clearly stated that rebuilding the relationship between my child and me must be the primary goal. However, their mother’s ongoing manipulation and alienation continue to obstruct this process.
CAFCASS is currently investigating the mother’s repeated manipulation of professionals. While this investigation is an important step, my child remains in an environment already deemed harmful by the court and is still unable to reconnect with me.
Understandably, given the current situation, I feel I have no choice but to apply for a change of residency when we return to court in the new year. My child’s well-being must come first, and I cannot see how they can thrive while remaining in an environment the court has already identified as harmful.
I am at a loss as to what else I can do to protect and support my child. Despite my best efforts to comply with the court’s directions and prioritise their needs, the ongoing manipulation and lack of progress in rebuilding our relationship is very distressing.
Can anyone give me some advice on what I should do next? Many thanks

Dear Florie123,

Welcome to the forum and thank you for your post. I am sorry to hear about the difficult situation that you find yourself in. I hope that the following advice and information is of some help – you can click on the hyperlinks in the text to take you to useful webpages.

Unfortunately Family Rights Group are not able to advise about private law proceedings, however I can give some advice about the current children’s services involvement as your child is under a child in need plan. Please see the end of my reply to find some other organisations who may be able to offer you some private law advice.

Your child is currently classed as a ‘child in need’. If the local authority felt that your child was at risk of significant harm then they would, by law, be required to carry out child protection enquiries. It seems that the local authority does not believe that this threshold is met in your child’s case. I would suggest that you ask for a copy of your local authority’s threshold document which will specify the criteria that is used to assess need and provide services in relation to children in need and children deemed to be at risk of significant harm. If you wish to challenge the local authority’s assertion that your child does not meet the criteria for ‘significant harm’ then this is a useful document as you can use it to highlight where you feel that your child does meet this criteria (and why you feel that child protection enquiries should be undertaken). You could submit this in writing to the social worker and their manager, or by making a formal complaint.

I would also suggest that you use the child in need process to ask the local authority to support more with the contact which has not been happening. Is there anything about this in the child in need plan? What strategies and approaches is the social worker taking to try and encourage your child to attend contact with you? Is there anyone who your child trusts who would be willing to attend contact with them so that they feel less anxious about it (perhaps a member of staff from school or someone from a youth club they attend)? If this is not being addressed in the child in need plan then I would suggest that you discuss this with the social worker and their manager as it should be a key part of the local authority’s involvement given the court’s directions.

You say that you have a court hearing in the new year. If you wish to challenge the social worker’s recommendations in the section 37 report then you must do this through the court. If the court feels that you have good reason to challenge this then they may request a fresh section 37 report to be completed by a different (independent) social worker.

Families Need Fathers, Child Law Advice and Support Through Court may be able to give you some advice regarding the private law proceedings.

Other forum users may be able to give you some advice from their own experiences. Again, I am sorry to hear of your very difficult situation and I understand it must be very painful for you to be separated from your child. I hope that you are receiving some emotional support – if you feel that you would benefit from some more support then the organisations on our ‘useful links’ page may be helpful to you. You can find this HERE.

I hope that that this is of some help. Please post again if you have any further queries or you can call our free, confidential adviceline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm). We also have a webchat which is currently open on Monday and Wednesday afternoons (this is closed over the Christmas period).

Best wishes,
Suzie